


The Rose

by fluffy_miracle



Category: Supernatural
Genre: A lot of sex, Abuse, Abuse is from Gordon not Gabriel, Abusive John Winchester, Action/Adventure, Adventure & Romance, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Beauty and the Beast Fusion, Alternate Universe - Dark, Alternate Universe - Fairy Tale, Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Alternate Universe - Magic, Alternate Universe - Supernatural Hunters, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Attempted Murder, Beauty and the Beast Elements, Blood and Violence, Blow Jobs, Bobby is Maurice, Boys In Love, Brothers, Character Development, Character Turned Into a Ghost, Child Abuse, Childhood Trauma, Complete, Cursed, Dark, Dark Fairy Tale Elements, Dark Fantasy, Didn't Know They Were Dating, Dysfunctional Relationships, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Enchanted Gabriel, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Romance, Fairy Tale Elements, Family, Forced Orgasm, Gabriel Being an Asshole (Supernatural), Gabriel has jokes, Gabriel is not a nice guy for a while, Gabriel is the Beast, Gabriel isn't abusive, Gabriel likes it rough, Gang Rape, Gardens & Gardening, Ghost Castiel (Supernatural), Ghost Michael (Supernatural), Ghost Uriel (Supernatural), Ghosts, Goddesses, Gordon Walker Being an Asshole, Gordon is Gaston, Growing Up, Growing Up Together, Gun Violence, Happy Ending, He gets better with time, Healing, Healing Sex, Hinduism, Hunter Dean, Hunter Gordon, Hunter Sam, Hunters & Hunting, Hurt Gabriel, Hurt Sam Winchester, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Imprisonment, Jealousy, Justice, Kali is the Enchantress, Kidnapping, Legends, Lore - Freeform, Love, M/M, Magic, Minor Character Death, Molestation, Moody Gabriel, Murder, Past Abuse, Past Child Abuse, Past Rape/Non-con, Past Underage, Past Violence, Personal Growth, Physical Abuse, Piercings, Plots, Professor Sam, Protective Castiel (Supernatural), Protective Dean Winchester, Protective Gabriel (Supernatural), Protective Sam Winchester, Psychological Torture, Psychological Trauma, Punishment, Rape, Rape/Non-con Elements, Redemption, Resolved Sexual Tension, Revenge, Rimming, Roses, Rough Oral Sex, Rough Sex, Sam gets Tortured by Gordon, Sam is Belle, Sex, Sex Toys, Sexual Tension, Shame, Shapeshifting, Skinny Dipping, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Slow Romance, Spells & Enchantments, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Therapy, Torture, Trauma, True Love, Violence, Were-Creatures, Werewolves, Wolf Pack, Wolves, Wrongful Imprisonment, blurred lines, cursed Gabriel, family ties, gray areas
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-28
Updated: 2021-01-03
Packaged: 2021-03-08 00:01:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 30
Words: 57,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26676355
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fluffy_miracle/pseuds/fluffy_miracle
Summary: A Supernatural Sabriel Beauty and the Beast story. I wrote a version of this a few years back, but decided it was time to bring it back.This story follows Sam and Dean Winchester, hunters extraordinaire who lose their adoptive father in a forest surrounded by legend. They go in after him and get him out, but Sam ends up staying behind, taking his place in a castle that had been hidden for about fifteen years. The master of the castle is a troubled, tormented man who is under a spell as punishment for his crimes. He is cursed forever, becoming more and more feral, unless someone can love him for who he truly is.Sam goes on a journey of a lifetime, unlocking the secrets of the castle and the ghosts and wolves that dwell there, serving their master. He learns about goddesses and magic and just how far the bonds of family can go. And lastly, he learns about the master of the castle, Gabriel, and how love can actually conquer all, even a beast.
Relationships: Gabriel/Sam Winchester
Comments: 80
Kudos: 98





	1. The Winchester Origin Story

**Author's Note:**

  * For [cucoo4cas](https://archiveofourown.org/users/cucoo4cas/gifts).



> This story is utterly and completely dedicated to cucoo4cas who deserves all the best things in the world. I'm so glad that fangirling over each other's fanfiction gave us a chance to be friends. <3 I'm grateful for our friendship!

In a remote cabin, far off in the wilderness, there lived two sons with their father. Their last name was Winchester and they were renowned for their great skill when it came to hunting supernatural creatures. However, the other thing they were also known for was their father being abusive. After a particular long night in which their father had been drinking, the two boys, Sam and Dean, had enough. Covered in bruises from their father’s big hands, they packed a backpack and left once their father was in a stupor of his own doing.

“Come on, Sammy.” The older brother, Dean, around sixteen years old, held his brother’s hand as they made their way through the twisted woods. Having gone on more hunts with their father, he mostly knew the way to the small town where they usually resupplied. There they could catch a bus and find a new place to live, a place that wasn’t haunted by a vengeful father full of drink and rage. “You okay?” Dean flashed the flashlight to check on Sam’s face. Half of it was a vivid red that Dean was sure would bruise. They were going to get some looks because Dean had taken the worst of the beating, and if Sam looked like that, then he was going to look even worse.

“I’m fine, Dean.” Sam was twelve, and already too old for his small, skinny frame. His eyes peeked up at his brother. “Where are we going to go?”

“We will go somewhere he’ll never find us.” Dean promised.

“Do you really think he’ll even come looking for us?” Sam raised his eyebrows and Dean sighed. No, John probably wouldn’t ever come looking for them. He had made it very clear that they were nothing but burdens to him. Probably because he occasionally had to spend money on their well-being as opposed to spending it all on booze. Now, Dean understood why his father had some of those particular vices, but he couldn’t justify them. The man was abusive-- he just hated it had taken him so long to see it.

He had Sam to thank for that. He could hide the bruises on himself, he could lie to himself about why they were there, but he couldn’t turn a blind eye when it came to his little brother. Getting Sam out had saved him too. They would live a better life than this, anything had to be better than this.

Three hours later, they were getting horrified looks on a bus headed away from their old life and into the future.

Eight hours later they were in police custody and being questioned separately about the bruises covering their faces and bodies.

Fourteen hours later they were back together and being driven by a tired-looking social worker who dropped them off at a place with a giant sign that read Singer’s Auto. There they met their new foster parent, a man named Bobby who had sworn off fostering until he heard about these two boys about to be split up by the system. They gave him a hard time, but nothing seemed to bother him, at least, nothing like how things used to bother John. Bobby wasn’t reactive, he was proactive. He didn’t scream or throw things, not even after a couple beers. He didn’t lock them up in their rooms or take his belt to their skin. He didn’t hit them with his fists-- hell, he barely cussed them out with they deserved it. He was the stability they had always been lacking, and so, slowly but surely, Bobby became their person, their chosen dad. He adopted them both, making sure to do so before Dean aged out of the system. Sam and Dean settled in more and more over the years and when they were grown men of their own, Bobby was still their person, still their chosen dad. Even when they went back to hunting, they stayed clear of most of the other hunters, wanting nothing to do with the group their father had used to hang out with. Most of all, they didn’t want to run into _him._

Now, they were grown and could easily defend themselves, but they still didn’t want anything to do with John. He was a bad memory, a whispered confession as to where odd scars came from. Dean was thirty-two, moonlighting as a mechanic, helping Bobby out at the auto shop between hunts. Sam was twenty-eight, smart as hell, working at the nearby community college inbetween cases. Sam had been the first person to go to school in their family and Bobby and Dean couldn’t be prouder.

“I have to go on a trip tomorrow, out of state.” Bobby told the boys, well, they would always be his boys no matter how grown they were now. “I have to go get those pain in the pass parts to finish that finicky machine up front for Crowley.” Crowley was the mayor of their town and one of Bobby’s best customers with all his old cars and custom jobs.

“I hope you’re taking the interstate.” Sam said pointedly. He loved lore and knew all the best legends to retell around a bonfire. “The forest is off limits.” Bobby rolled his eyes and Dean chuckled, taking another swig of his beer. Sam had unearthed a local legend about a nearby national forest. It was rumored to contain a monstrous beast who devoured any travelers who came through, and so the road that wound through the twisted trees had fallen into disrepair over the years. While most people claimed to not believe the legend, most people also avoided the forest like the plague. Enough people had gone missing in that area for it to be considered dangerous.

“Depends when I get up in the morning.” Bobby snickered. “I’ll be safe, Sam.” He gestured to the shotgun he always traveled with. “I don’t take unnecessary risks anymore ever since I got you boys.”

“Thanks, Bobby.” Sam smiled. “Ooh, do you guys want to hear about the tulpa story I unearthed in the library?”

“Sure, Sammy.” Dean smiled too. “We haven’t had a tulpa hunt in a while. It’d be good to have a refresher on the lore.” Dean knew he’d be a hunter for life, but he wasn’t so sure about Sam. Sam seemed more and more drawn to having a normal life, and after the fling with the demon that nearly wrecked their relationship, Dean thought Sam living a normal life might be good for the both of them. Anyway, Ruby was dead now. It had been like John all over again. Sam took her abuse until it turned on Dean. Then he had managed to see whatever charms she had used on him and they had gotten him out.

Bobby left early in the morning, Dean taking over the shop for the days he’d be gone, and Sam went to work. It was an uneventful day, teaching young minds about lore and legend, until it was time to go home. Sam drove into the shop yard to a couple new cars up front. He groaned, recognizing the vehicles as other hunters, namely the gang that rolled around with one hunter in particular, Gordon Walker. Sam didn’t like Gordon much-- there was something about him that made his skin crawl, but he could never put his finger on what that was. He just found that he preferred to be far away from that man and his friends.

“Well, well, well, if it isn’t Sammy Winchester.” Gordon drawled from the table when he came in. “You get taller?”

“Only Dean can call me that.” Sam said without thinking. “And no, I didn’t.”

“Mmm, nice and long.” Gordon sipped his beer. “Come on, pull up a seat, Dean said we could crash here for the night.”

“Great.” Sam went to the fridge and grabbed a beer. “Hey, Dean.” He nodded to his brother who was cooking at the stove.

“Heya, Sammy.” Dean smiled. “We’re having burgers, fries, and beer.”

“Sounds good, Dean. Thanks.” Sam went to sit down… as far away as he could from Gordon. No such luck. The man got up and moved to the seat next to him.

“So how are you, Sammy? You’re looking good.”

“Uh, I’m fine. How are you, Gordon?”

“Hungry.” The man’s eyes gleamed. “Thirsty. Whatever you kids are calling the itch nowadays.”

“Herpes?” Sam deadpanned.

“Sammy, stop playing dumb. We both know you’re smarter than that. You and I should explore this chemistry between us.”

“I don’t think we have that.” Sam frowned over his beer bottle. “Gordon, you and I are not going to be anything ever.”

“Don’t make me beg.” The man said darkly, leaning forward. Sam did not like what he saw in his eyes-- the spark of something forceful. Gordon didn’t like that he was telling him no; it reminded him of his father all those years ago.

“And we’re done here.” Sam and Gordon looked up when Dean cocked his shotgun. “I think it’s time for you to go, Gordon. You and your friends can stay at the bed and breakfast not too far from here. It’s called the Roadhouse-- you can’t miss it.”

“Fine.” Gordon got up with a fake smile. “We’ll catch you boys later. Your father says hello.” And with that they left.

“Wow, what a creep!” Dean exclaimed. “You okay, Sammy?”

“Yea, I’m fine.” Sam shrugged. “Thanks for getting rid of them.”

“No problem.” They stared at the door and then at each other. “What do you think he meant about Dad?” Dean asked as he moved back to the stove.

“Nothing good.” Sam said. He wrapped his arms around himself, feeling as if the safe world they had built with Bobby was about to come crashing down around them. “Hey, when is Bobby coming back?”

“He’ll be back tomorrow, Sammy.” Dean said reassuringly. “He said around noon. He texted me before you came home, got the parts already and everything.”

“Good.” Sam’s shoulders sagged with relief.

“You okay?” Dean asked again, feeling worried about how tense Sam had been. Gordon had been a major creep, but then he had brought up the one person that could fuck everything up for them, their biological father. “We’re going to get through this, Sam, whether Dad shows up or not.”

“Bobby is our dad!” Sam snapped, raking his fingers through his hair. “I just hate that guy and how he tries to get under my skin.” He sighed. “Is supper ready?” He asked. “I think I’m going to go to bed soon.” He sat back down at the table, rubbing his forehead.

“Yea, they’ll be ready in a few, Sammy. I’m sorry this was a shitty ending to the day for you. If that creep comes back, I’ll put an end to him, I promise.”

“Thanks, Dean.” Sam looked up and smiled weakly as Dean put his plate in front of him.

“You’re welcome, now eat up.” Dean smiled, patting his brother on the arm. “Tomorrow will be better, just you wait and see.”


	2. The Enchanted

Tomorrow was not better, not even close. Bobby didn’t show up at all and to make things worse, he wasn’t answering his phone. Sam couldn’t ignore the pit in his stomach any longer.

“Dean, we have to find him.”

“He’s just running late.”

“He’s not running late, Dean, something is wrong! We have to find him!”

“Okay.” Dean held up his hands in surrender. “I’ll close the shop for today and tomorrow. We’ll retrace his steps. If we still can’t find him, then we’ll contact the police.”

“Okay.” Sam sucked in a breath. “Dean, what if Dad took him?”

“Sam-- Gordon was probably just messing with us. Dad’s probably dead.”

“But what if?!”

“Then we’ll take Bobby back.” Dean clenched his jaw. “I’ll pack our hunting gear.”

“I’ll pack our overnight bags.” The brothers spit up, preparing for their hunt of a different kind. It didn’t feel good to be hunting for a loved one. The what ifs haunted them both, although Dean was determined to keep it together for Sam’s sake. He had to. If John was behind this, Dean was going to kill him this time. He couldn’t keep fucking with them. Dean wouldn’t take any more abuse from that man. He would never be John’s perfect little soldier again. 

They were about to head out when they heard a familiar rumble racing down the road. Sam looked at Dean, his eyes wide before they hardened and he grabbed his rifle. He was ready when John parked and emerged from his Impala, a smirk on his smug face.

“Hey boys.”

“What the hell do you want?” Sam spat, his finger on the trigger as he stared his father down.

“It took me a long time to find you boys.”

“That was the idea.” Dean took his place next to his brother, his shotgun loaded and ready.

“And I came up with a plan to make things up to you, but then that old guy got in the way.” Sam trembled next to Dean, but he didn’t say anything. “Bobby, is it?” John sneered. “I took care of him though, so don’t worry. Now we can be a family again.”

“The only reason you’re not dead is because you’re going to take us to Bobby.” Sam let off a shot, striking John in the thigh. “Now.” John cussed, shouting in pain, shock clear on his face. 

“You shot me!” He accused, his fingers sharp as they pointed at Sam. Sam remembered too well what those hands felt like when John would hit them both.

“I’ll shoot you next if you don’t listen to what he said.” Dean gestured with the shotgun. “We’re pretty good trackers. We don’t actually need your help.”

“You will need help to get to where he is.” John smiled between panting for air. “He’s in the forest. All trussed up for the monster that lives in there-- the monster that needs to feed.” He whipped his belt off, Sam flinching at the sound, before John wrapped it around his leg, fashioning a tourniquet. “You’ll get lost in the woods without me and then the wolves will get you. I have an understanding with the master of those woods and a guarantee of safe passage as long as I bring him what he wants.” Understanding dawned in Sam’s eyes.

“You’re behind the disappearances.” He said.

“So what if I am?” John challenged. “It’s the most honest work I’ve had in years and he pays me well.” Something gleamed in John’s eyes as he looked at his boys and Sam felt uncomfortable, squirming next to his brother. “He pays me to bring him meals too.”

“Let’s go.” Sam looked to Dean. “We can take the pick-up. He can ride in the back.”

“Let’s do it.” Dean agreed. They decided to tie John up as a precaution and then followed his directions, taking the road that led into the forest that the locals avoided at any cost. There was a dirt road that led off of the pavement and John told Dean to take it. They crawled along the bumpy road until they came to a gate about half an hour later. Sam hopped out and yanked it open, gritting his teeth at the metallic protest. 

“Gate needs oil.” He added when he got back in. Dean was silent, tense. He could practically feel a trap closing around them-- he knew best of all how his father’s twisted mind worked. “It’s going to be okay.” Sam reminded him. “No matter what we face-- we stand a better chance together.”

“Thanks, Sammy.” Dean pressed his lips together tightly as they drove through the gate. Sam thought he glimpsed a tail through the thick underbrush, but the more he stared at it, the less he saw. The road turned from dirt to cobblestones and both the brothers gasped when they turned the bend. The forest bled into a beautiful meadow before a small castle. “Did your books ever mention this?” Dean asked, turning to look at his brother. Sam was just as stunned as him as he silently shook his head no. 

“Park in front.” John barked from the back and Dean did as he said. After they parked in the shadow of the castle, Dean hauled their biological father from the back of the truck. 

“Lead the way.” He bumped him with his gun purposefully.

“No guns.” John said with a grin. “It’s his rule, not mine. This place is, uh, odd. Things don’t work here like they do outside of the forest.” Dean pulled his phone out, tapping it as the screen stayed dark. “No electronics, no cameras, no guns.” John recited. “Besides, the only thing that would help you out here is silver, but you didn’t hear that from me.” 

Sam and Dean left their weapons and phones in the truck. If Bobby was here, that would be why he never answered his phone. Sam kept his knives on him, the demon-killing one, and a silver blade. Dean carried a machete. John limped, blood staining his jeans, as he led them inside. He had clearly been here before as he led them to a back room with magnificent windows looking out. A man sat on a throne looking so incredibly bored.

“What have you brought me now?” He didn’t even look up as they approached. “I’m feeling disappointed with you since you brought me that feeble, old man.”

“He was for dinner, my lord, not dating.”

“I figured as much.” The man on the throne looked up and froze. He locked eyes with Sam before leaning forward. “That one.” He pointed.

“He’s come for the old man.” John informed the man who was clearly in charge. “He’s not interested. No boy of mine would ever be a--” The lord of the castle’s head whipped towards John so fast that it sent off warning bells in Sam’s mind. Whatever was on the throne was not fully human.

“Finish that sentence, John, I dare you.” The man hissed. “Tell me how unnatural you think my desires are.”

“I-I simply meant that he’s my son.”

“And because he’s your son, he couldn’t be a faggot?” John had gone from being in charge to being cornered, and if the situation wasn’t so freaky, Sam and Dean would be enjoying it so much more than they were.

“Hey, look, we’re just here for our dad.” Dean spoke up. “You can have this asshole for a snack.” He gestured to John. “We just want Bobby back.”

“I’m inclined to agree with you about the snack.” The man growled, his eyes narrowing. “But the old man will cost you.” He glanced back at Sam, almost unsure in his next words. “I want the tall one to take his place as my prisoner…” he paused “...forever.”

“What?” Dean scoffed. “Hell no.”

“Then ‘Bobby’ stays with me and I eat both your fathers.” His teeth were bared, gleaming in the sunlight. The light caught his eyes and Sam cocked his head at the soft, golden-brown color. His eyes looked almost feral, like he was an animal instead of a person. It was eerie and curious all at the same time. 

“What would you want from me?” Sam asked, putting himself back on the table. There was no way he was going to leave Bobby here. The threat about eating him was more of a when than an if. He understood that even if he didn’t understand all the logistics of the situation. “Would I be putting myself on the menu?”

“Not that one.” The lord responded. “No, I’d want you for other things.” Sam raised his eyebrows, a direct challenge to say what those things were. 

“Speak plainly.” He ordered.

“I would have you in my bed. In fact, that would be part of the price. You spend tonight with me and if your performance passes my judgment, you can take your father’s place.” Sam sucked in a breath, trying to calm himself. He was reminded of Gordon and the look in his eyes whenever he looked at Sam. This creature seemed to be no better, but Sam would do anything for his family. He’d do anything for Bobby and Dean.

“Kill him first.” Sam pointed a finger at John, strangely proud that his hand was not shaking.

“Deal.” The lord smiled, rising from his throne. “I will end him tonight.”

“What the--” John started to protest.

“Please, your blood has been stinking up my castle for minutes now. You think the beast would miss it?” John was silenced with a look.

“End him now and I will take your offer.” Sam said. “But if I don’t please you, you must let me go home with my family.”

“Oh, I don’t think you could not please me.” The man laughed. “But as you wish.” He grinned before he turned towards John. What happened next Sam wouldn’t have believed it if he had not seen it with his own eyes. One moment a man launched himself at John, the next moment a tiger had him by the throat, shaking him like he was nothing.

“Fuck!” Dean grabbed Sam and they ran out of the room, leaving their biological father to his end. “I don’t suppose you’d run now.” Dean asked as they waited by the door. “Sam, he’s not human.”

“No shit.” Sam was feeling shaky about this deal he had struck. “But we’ve got to get Bobby out of here.”

“Bobby is safe.” A disembodied voice spoke up, startling them both. “My apologies.” A shadowy form of a man slowly took shape. “I am Castiel. I look over the castle.”

“What the hell is going on here?” Dean asked gruffly.

“We were cursed, enchanted, doomed to live out our lives in this castle.” Castiel the friendly ghost informed them. “My master is almost done with his meal. I will take you to Bobby, allow you to visit before the deal goes down.” The ghost made a sympathetic noise which didn’t make Sam feel any better. “Our master doesn’t mean to be cruel. He’s just-- not himself.”

“Why do you serve him?” Sam asked. “Why serve if he’s so cruel?”

“He’s family.” The ghost responded. “We’d do anything for our family. Besides, he can’t hurt us.” Castiel glowed enough that they could see his smile. “That’s kind of the point. Being ghosts keeps us safe.”

“Your family how? Did you die?” Sam had a thousand questions, questions that kept him present instead of dealing with what he had to do tonight with something that wasn’t human, something that could very well kill him and his family by the end of the night if he didn’t deliver.

“He is my brother.” The ghost revealed. “I am not dead, not yet. The curse is a curse and yet a blessing. It keeps us safe.” Castiel straightened up. “This way to the dungeons. We don’t have much time. The master has voracious appetites.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, fluffy here, please let me know what you think? ❤️ I’ve missed this story and the characters and I’m trying to do them justice all over again. Let me know how it is so far!


	3. In His Bed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TW: I would say this sex scene walks the fine line between the Non-Con/Rape tag. It is a business transaction, but the beast (aka Gabriel) takes major advantage of Sam wanting to save his family. It's rough, brutal in some parts, and also kind of a mind fuck in other parts. I tried to bring all of Gabriel's current sides into the room with them.

That night they were summoned into the dining room. It was beautiful, even under the circumstances. It had high, vaulted ceilings, pillars made of marble that sparkled and shone under the thousands of candles that lit the room. The floor was polished marble under their feet, no dirt to be found, not even a speck of dust. The long table was piled with food, food that Sam had a feeling he could not eat. He did not think he could keep it down.

“Greetings.” The master of the castle had returned to his human form. “Welcome to my humble abode.” He waved his hand in the air and took his seat at the head of the table, music filling the room with a flick of his fingers. Sam was seated to his left while Bobby and Dean were at the other end of the table. “Tell me about yourself. What’s your name?”

“My name is Sam Winchester.” Sam replied, sipping at the wine provided. He noticed that the wine seemed to be the only thing the lord of the castle had touched. It seemed the safest bet. “I’m a professor and a hunter.” Something sparked in those golden eyes at the last bit. 

“A hunter.” The other man all but purred. “I’m shaking in my boots. Tell me, Sam, have you come to hunt me?”

“No.” Sam answered truthfully. “I am here for my father, nothing more and nothing less.”

“Hmm.” The lord scrutinized him. “You’re the least frightened person I’ve had in this place, this situation so to speak.”

“Do you imprison people often?” Sam retorted.

“You speak without knowledge.” The man corrected him. “I do what I must because I must. My time is running out.”

“The curse?” Sam guessed.

“I see Castiel’s been running his mouth again.” The lord of the castle rolled his eyes. “He likes you then. That’s promising.”

“Your turn.” Sam countered. “Tell me about yourself. What’s your name?”

“Not yet, little dove.” The man grinned. “We must get much more acquainted before I do something so silly as give you my name. Names are powerful you see, and I have done well by keeping my name off the lips of the people who surround me.”

“No one knows you exist.” 

“Exactly.” The man leaned forward, looking into Sam’s glass. “Finish your liquid courage, hunter. You’ll need it in my bedroom tonight.” He pushed his chair back. “Hurry now, I’m bored of all this. The real fun is about to begin.” He turned to his other guests. “Enjoy your meal and my ghosts’ hospitality. Sam and I will be retiring shortly.” He didn’t bother informing them that either way that the evening went, Sam wouldn’t be returning. 

“I love you guys.” Sam gave Bobby and Dean a sad smile as he stood up from his chair. “Thank you both for everything.” He was led away by a ghost, following behind the lord of the castle.

“I hate this.” Bobby grumbled. 

“Is there nothing we can do?”

“Not if you want all of you to survive.” Castiel informed them helpfully. “Sam must go through with the bargain or else all your lives will be forfeit.” 

“Great.” Dean sighed.

“Can I get you anything else?” The ghost chirped.

“Do you have anything harder than wine?” Dean asked.

“One second.” Castiel replied, returning with whiskey and glasses.

“Thanks.” Dean replied. “You know, you’re pretty cool for a ghost.”

“Thanks. You’re not bad for a hunter.” They shared an awkward laugh as Dean tried not to think about what was happening to his brother in the asshole of a lord’s bedroom.

\---

Sam looked around as if he expected more tigers to jump out of the shadows on their way to the lord of the castle’s bedchambers.

“I know you’re a hunter.” Sam’s host observed cooly. “But relax. The only thing you have to fear in this castle is me and I’m too invested in getting you naked to hurt you.” Sam huffed a short breath of frustration and embarrassment, but he relaxed some. “If you’re tough, life won’t be so bad here.” Sam raised an eyebrow but said nothing, focusing on his surroundings instead. If this was indeed his new home there was no time like the present to learn his way around. Might as well know the way to the bedroom he had a feeling he’d be frequenting quite often. 

“Who are they?” He pointed to the pictures hanging on the walls. None of them looked alike and none of them looked like the man he was following. Sam could have sworn he heard a sigh from the lord as he looked at each of the pictures.

“They’re the ones who came before you.”

“What happened to them?” Sam asked, unable to keep his heart from speeding up. Something close to fear crawled down his spine and he shivered, steeling himself. 

“They died.” The lord said simply. “Like I said, if you’re tough, you should have no problems.” 

“Oh.” Sam reflected on the fact that the two sentences he had said had declared very different things.

“Also…” Sam looked up to see an odd look cross the man’s face as he looked back at him. Again, the man seemed unsure. What was it about Sam that was so unsettling to him? Clearly it wasn’t unsettling enough… “About tonight.”

“What about it?” Sam cleared his throat. It was a business transaction, nothing more, not that Sam would have ever thought to use his body in such a way to get such desired results. But again, he would do anything to keep his family safe.

“You’re here to please me and all that, but that doesn’t mean it won’t feel good for you too.” Sam let out an incredulous laugh at the most ridiculous thing to come out of this man’s mouth all day. “Here we are.” He held the door open for Sam. “The bathroom is in there and the ghosts will get you prepared.” Sam flushed at that thought and the man sniffed the air between them. “Easy there, Sam, so much blood is pumping in your body, I’m almost flattered.” There was a twinkle in those golden eyes and Sam decided he might hate this man. He took a page out of his book and snarled his displeasure. Golden eyes widened and then squinted with mirth. “Oh, I am going to enjoy you, Sam, I am going to enjoy you so very much.”

\----

Close to an hour later, the ghosts decided that Sam was ready enough to meet their master. He had been cleaned out thoroughly, something that was invasive beyond compare, although he realized what was going to happen next would be more invasive than even that. They had dressed him in some loose pants and an equally loose shirt. It was meant to be comfortable, but Sam missed his layers of denim, flannel, and cotton that were now folded and waiting for him in his own chambers that he had yet to find out about.

“On your knees.” No time for pleasantries or whispered sweet nothings as Sam quickly obeyed. “Open your mouth.” A finger jerked his mouth to one side before a cock was pressed in. Sam swallowed the urge to panic and focused on sucking the tip of the man’s cock before bobbing his head up and down, taking a little more in. A bored sigh was the only warning Sam got before the man shoved his entire length down Sam’s throat. He held Sam’s head in place with superhuman strength while Sam gagged and choked. Tears streamed down Sam’s cheeks as he tried to pull back but he couldn’t move as the man forcefully fucked his throat. A minute ticked by and the vision in the corners of Sam’s eyes were darkening.

“Guh!” He gagged again as the man finally released him, allowing him to flail back. He landed on his hands and knees, gagging again hard. Spit dribbled out his mouth as he sucked in as much air as he could before he looked back up at the master of the castle. He got the point. This man was also his master for the evening.

“Beautiful.” The man knelt in front of him, taking his face in his hands, wiping the tears and spit away with gentle fingers. “I love it when you let go.” He grinned as his hands moved down Sam’s hair to his neck and then down to the collar of Sam’s shirt. Easily, he ripped the front of the shirt, a clean tear so he could push it off Sam’s arms and torso. “I knew you looked good under all those layers of flannel.” He stood up, leaving Sam feeling discombobulated and unsure. “Up, Sam. Take those pants off.” His cock was still proud and erect, waving around as he walked towards the bed. Sam sucked in another breath before rising unsteadily. “Now, Sam. I’m not a patient man.” 

Sam pushed his pants down, revealing his long, tapered legs and flaccid cock. The man looked on in keen interest, his gaze skimming over every inch of exposed skin. “Come here.” He ordered from where he sat on the edge of the bed. “If you relaxed, you wouldn’t choke as much.” Sam was pulled down again, his mouth back around the man’s cock. Sam tried to relax, he tried to focus, but he kept flinching each time the lord moved, expecting him to choke him again. After a few minutes, patience was all but worn out and Sam was choked on his cock again, forced to deepthroat him for the second time. This time, when he was close, the lord pinched Sam’s nostrils shut and Sam realized he had been able to breathe the whole time until now. He thrashed for a moment before the gagging started, but like before he still couldn’t move. Each thrust triggered another round of choking and then splashes of cum shot down his throat and into his mouth. He was released again, although a hand was securely wrapped in his hair.

Sam sagged against the bed, against the man’s inner thigh, choking and coughing, trying so desperately to suck in more precious air. “Easy.” The hand in his hair switched to stroking through his hair again and Sam tried to calm down even though his entire body was shaking. 

“I can’t breathe.” He was panicking and he knew it, but he couldn’t stop it. 

“Yes, you can.” The lord reminded him, stroking his fingers through Sam’s hair. “Focus on my fingers.” He counseled and Sam did as he was told, mindlessly at first, but eventually, as seconds ticked by, he realized the touch was grounding him. He sucked in a breath, embarrassed by the tears that pricked his eyes. He sobbed once into the man’s leg before he tried to turn away. “You’re so pretty when you cry, Sam.” Another stroke of fingers through his hair. “Much prettier than when you try to stay in control. I’m in control here and I’ll take care of you from here on out. No more choking.”

“My family?” Sam rasped, realizing that his fingers had been twisted in the fabric of the man’s dress pants for the entirety of that blow job debacle. 

“Yes. They will be allowed to leave, no harm will come to them, I promise.”

“Thanks.” Sam was pulled up onto the bed and stretched out. His head lolled to the side as he watched the lord of the castle restrain his wrists to each bed post. After Sam’s wrists were secure, he stripped out of his suit, revealing a muscular body much like Sam’s own. He ran a hand through his golden waves, causing it to fluff up in a non-threatening manner as he glanced around the room and walked over to a small chest on the nightstand.

“You’ll like this next part better.” The man promised as he retrieved what looked like a vial. 

“What’s that?” Sam asked.

“It’s oil.” The man laughed at the expression on Sam’s face. “Did you really think I’d take you dry?” He snorted. “I’m not an animal.” He laughed out loud at his own joke and Sam let out a huff of amusement despite his own misgivings. His throat ached terribly and he’d do terrible things for water right about now. “What is it?”

“Can I have a drink first?” Sam asked cautiously. “My throat hurts.”

“Ah, first times usually do.” Sam tensed and the man laughed. “Oh gods and goddesses, you’re a virgin here too.” A finger pressed against his hole and Sam scooted away. Another laugh and the finger withdrew. More restraints, fastening his ankles this time. The point was clear. Sam was not allowed to get away unless this man desired it to be so. “Here.” Sam’s head was lifted up and a water bottle was pressed to his lips. Sam drank greedily until it was taken away. “Not too much. I’m not letting you go to the bathroom until I’m good and done with your body.” That was the warning Sam got before the finger returned, slicked up and ready to go. His body tensed at the intrusion, but there was no stopping this man when his mind was set on something.

He set a fast past, forcing Sam’s body to let him in and to open up. “You’ll be sore in the morning with all the clenching you’re doing.” He warned. “Relax, professor, it’s just time for your lesson.” He chuckled again before pushing his cock in. Sam keened, trying to move away. The fingers had been bearable after a while, but this was too big. There was burning as the man moved deeper into him. “Christ, you’re tight.” He rocked his hips forwards and Sam cried out as he was entirely sheathed inside of him. “Fuck, that’s more like it.” Sam didn’t have a moment to recover because he was already moving, setting a blistering pace. His fingers were tight on Sam’s hips as he took his pleasure without limit. Sam screamed after a few more thrusts as the fire licked inside of him. It didn’t feel good. It felt like he was being split in two. But as time went on, the fire dulled and something else started to build in Sam’s belly. His cock swelled, bouncing against his stomach as each thrust hit something heavenly inside of me.

“Wh-wh-what is th-that?” He panted to the beat of the thrusts inside of him. 

“Your prostate.” The man grinned. He released one of the restraints on Sam’s ankle to twist Sam’s leg up over his shoulder. Sam gasped as he slid even deeper, hitting that spot over and over again without mercy. He came with a different scream, his orgasm painting the man’s bed covers with white smears. “Atta, boy.” Fingers squeezed his softening cock, wringing more pleasure out of him. Sam had never felt anything like that in his life. “Open up, boy.” Sam realized that his host hadn’t come and was sitting on his chest, thick erection pointing into Sam’s face. “Open wide.” Sam was feeling incredibly foggy at this point, so he obeyed, and let the man take his pleasure from his mouth and throat once more.

Sam came back to his senses while the man was undoing his restraints. “There’s more water.” he pointed to the bottle next to Sam.”

“Thanks.” Sam took a swig. His legs felt like jelly. He wiped his mouth and grimaced at the cum that came away from his face. 

“Sorry, I like to mark up my things.” The man grinned unrepentantly. “On your belly this time, Sam.”

“What?” Sam asked blankly, squinting up at him. 

“On your belly.”

“We’re not done?” The man’s laugh sounded more cruel this time around.

“Oh, Sam, we’re just getting started.” Sam yelped as the man grabbed his ankle and yanked him off the bed roughly. He went flying, tumbling to the floor.

“On your belly, bitch.” The man enunciated, a growl reverberating from his throat. “Remember that your family is still at my mercy until dawn.” Sam crawled back towards the bed and took the position as he was told. He had to be tough. He had to make it through this. He had to keep his family safe. Sam wasn’t going to end up as another picture on this bastard’s wall.


	4. The Morning After

It was dawn. The lord of the castle glanced out the window and blinked, taking in the faint, changing colors. Behind him, Sam slumped against the bed, taking the moment’s reprieve for what it was. The lord looked back and took pity on the hunter in his bed.

“Rest.” That was an easy enough command to follow, Sam’s eyelids already drooping shut. Golden eyes rolled as the man tugged up a clean blanket to cover the hunter’s bare body. He hissed, stretching himself out. He felt good. He hadn’t had sex like that in a long time, but now his skin was itching, his other form begging to come out. He shifted right then and there, into a form that was now almost more him than himself. The tiger licked his chops, studying Sam with interest. The lord of the castle relinquished control to the spell, lapsing fully into his second form. 

The tiger chuffed once before stalking over to the bed. He scented Sam carefully, nosing along his face. The tiger was always the more curious of the two. A pink tongue darted out, touching Sam’s forehead briefly. Curiosity satisfied, the tiger’s ears perked at the sounds of movement in the hall. A knight in shining armour perhaps? A mouse? He padded forwards, inhaling the stale scents around him. There! There was something very alive in the hallways, perhaps something delicious. The tiger nosed the door open and came face to face with one Dean Winchester.

Something protective, or was it possessive, welled up inside and the tiger snarled low in warning. He shifted back to let his human form do the speaking. “He’s sleeping.”

“Is he okay?”

“As good as gold.” The lord of the castle bared his teeth. “He even orgasmed once or twice.”

“Generous.” Emotion was thick in the brother’s voice and the shorter man found that he didn’t like it. 

“It’s time to go.” He gestured to the waiting ghost. “Get your father and get out if you know what’s good for you and Sam.”

“Don’t hurt him.” A threat in the form of a jabbing finger. The tiger was no fool, he knew of the silver on both of the hunters when they came into his castle. They were unlucky bastards, but they knew of his weakness.

“I like him.” He surprised them both with the truth. “I don’t want to hurt him.” Sam was delicious in a way he had not tasted in a long time, maybe ever. Dean didn’t say anything else, what could he say with a specter at his hand pulling him along. He glared over his shoulder, the look in his eyes saying everything he didn’t dare. The lord of the castle was a dead man if anything happened to Sam.

The tiger took control back and he fell back into his animal form. Everything was much simpler as a tiger. He slept when he was tired. He fucked when he was aroused. He ate when he was hungry. He drank when he was thirsty. If threatened, he protected his family. He wished it could be that simple as a human. When he was human, he seemed to make everything worse. The tiger had been a curse at first, but as the years passed, the simplicity of it all made it a blessing. He could think more clearly in his animal form. He padded down the hallway, leaving Sam to sleep and dreams. Castiel would take care of him when he woke up. The tiger wanted to go for a run.

Sam slept like a dead man, waking with the bright noon sun. He grimaced as he glanced around the room. He seemed to be alone, for now. His bladder protested and Sam turned his head to make sure the way to the bathroom was clear.

“Did you sleep well?” Sam jumped at Castiel’s sudden appearance in his direct line of vision. 

“Fuck!” The sudden movement had made Sam tensed. “Ow.” He flopped back on the bed suddenly aware of the pain in his body. “Fuck.”

“I brought oil for the stiffness.” Castiel waved the vial around. “A nice massage will do wonders.”

“What about a shower?” Sam groaned. He wanted to wash the other man off of his skin. His head was still trying to process the night and morning before. The man had been insatiable and Sam had almost not been able to keep up. “Is he always like that?”

“You got him in a good mood.” Castiel chittered. He put the oil away, sensing Sam did not want to be touched first thing after the night he had just had. “Follow me. If you use the servant’s quarters showers, you won’t ever be disturbed. He thinks it’s beneath him.”

“Of course he does.” Sam sighed, getting out of bed gingerly. He winced at the soreness. 

“Do you need assistance?” Castiel asked.

“I might.” Sam sighed. Castiel brought a soft robe over and helped Sam into it before letting out a piercing whistle. Sam tied the robe shut, half afraid the lord of the castle might pop up in front of him.

“What do we have here?” Sam glanced at the door when he heard an unfamiliar French accent. “I am Balthazar and I run the grounds. I’m also a cousin.” The man greeted him with an easy smile. “I see you’ve met the worst of us.” He joked lightly. “Trust me, we only get better from here.” He offered his arm and Sam took it gratefully.

“Thank you.”

“My pleasure.” The man’s smile was genuine and so Sam found himself smiling back. “The showers?”

“Please.” Sam made a face. 

“And coffee afterwards?” Sam’s stomach grumbled and his face grew wistful at the thought of a normal breakfast with his family. “In your rooms, of course, safe and sound.”

“That sounds nice.” Sam agreed. “I didn’t know I would have rooms here.”

“Ah, my cousin, as moody as he can be, would never dream of putting one of his lovers in the dungeons. You will have the best room!” Castiel followed them closely, chattering his agreement at Balthazar’s welcoming words. He hoped Sam could feel at home here, but really, he hoped that Sam was finally the one.

\---

“Where is he?” The lord of the castle breezed into the dining room. “And where is my lunch? I’m starving.”

“He’s recovering.” Castiel chided. “Do you always have to be so rough?”

“I like to weed out the weak from the strong.”

“Gabriel.” Castiel rolled his ghostly eyes. “I know you, I know you like him. I like him too. So does Balth. We could have a chance.”

“Cassie, there’s no breaking the curse, so why should I bother trying?” Gabriel asked in all sincerity. “I might as well enjoy myself before this one goes running too.”

“I’m not running.” Sam appeared from the showers, barefoot and clad in only his bathrobe. His hair was wet, dripping down to his shoulders. Gabriel swallowed hard at the sight of him, lust and the need for approval battling inside of him. 

“It hasn’t even been a day.” Gabriel said derisively. “I’m Gabriel by the way. Your family is safe at home. One of my wolves followed them to make sure.”

“Don’t strain yourself.” Sam scoffed, but Gabriel and Castiel had both seen how his stance softened once he knew his family was safe. 

“My generosity is what it is.” Gabriel rolled his eyes. “Come eat with me.” Sam balked. 

“I was going to eat in my room. I want to dry off and get dressed.”

“Then go.” Gabriel waved him off. “Then come back and eat with me.”

“I kind of want a little space if you don’t mind. We could do dinner though?” Sam offered. Something dark and ugly crossed Gabriel’s face and Sam instinctively took a step back.

“Suit yourself.” Gabriel snarled. “I try to be nice and where does it get me?!”

“I-I just got up.” Sam gave it right back. “You literally fucked me all night long. I want a break before I have to spend more time with you.”

“Don’t do me any favors.” Gabriel growled. He got up from the table and stomped out, leaving Sam alone.

“Shit.” Sam let out a breathy laugh. “Uh, Castiel?” He called out, his voice echoing out of the grand room. “Where’s my room?”

“Balth will take you.” Castiel said with a sigh. “I’m going to go talk some sense into my brother.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think!


	5. Rages & Fits

Sam and Gabriel didn’t see each other over the next few days. Unbeknownst to each other, they were avoiding each other. Sam had already outlasted about half of the previous ‘guests’ and didn’t seem to be the least frightened of Gabriel. Gabriel wasn’t sure how to handle that. He was used to having the control and with Sam, well, he knew that he didn’t. He knew that neither of them did, but because he didn’t, he sulked away for a few days, sticking to his tiger form. Castiel chastised him less when he was an animal.

Sam stayed away from places he thought Gabriel would be like the dining room and anywhere past the hallway of portraits where Gabriel’s rooms lay. He had no desire to be under that man ever again, so he made himself scarce. Sam explored a lot of the castle grounds where he found most things falling into disrepair. The saddest of all was the garden with all its rose bushes being suffocated by weeds and debris. Sam asked Castiel for gardening tools and Castiel sent Balthazar. More often than not, Balthazar was Sam’s companion as he explored and pruned the rose garden, unless Sam asked for space.

Gabriel wasn’t as far as he’d like to be. Even avoiding Sam, he would check in on him every now and then. Sam seemed to be doing well and Gabriel hated how that fact caused a tiny seed of hope to be planted in his heart. It wouldn’t work out and yet, maybe, there was the tiniest chance it might. Gabriel had forgotten how much it hurt to hope and so he hid away from sight.

“All right.” Balthazar finally brought up the one subject everyone in the house was dying to know. “What’s going on with you and my cousin?”

“Which one?” Sam sniffed, playing dumb. He was sitting on his ass-- which was finally less sore-- pruning the first rose bush he had finally fully unearthed from the weeds and broken down buildings. He had Bobby to thank for this skill-- Bobby knew that Sam wasn’t too keen on cars like Dean was and had gotten him a job at a local greenhouse once he was old enough to start working. Sam had gotten teased at school, but he didn’t care. He preferred the greenhouse to a lot of places, except for maybe old churches and, of course, libraries.

“What’s going on with you and Gabriel?” Balthazar asked. “Was the sex really that bad?” Sam paused, wiping his sweaty forehead on the back of his arm. He recalled that night and shuddered before nodding his head.

“It wasn’t that great.” He managed. Sure, when the sex was good, he could honestly say he had never felt that way with anyone, male or female before, but the brutal parts, the parts where Gabriel was hurting him against his will and getting off on it, those ruined everything else.

“I know he’s a lot.” Balthazar offered up apologetically. “Once he warms up to you, things will be better.”

“You really think I want him to warm up to me?” Sam scoffed. “I’m content with never seeing him again.” He glanced up from the rosebush to lock eyes with the tiger a few feet away. “But I don’t think I’ll get that luxury.” Sam squinted, glaring at the tiger who stalked forward with a low growl. 

“I just remembered--”Balthazar was standing in a flash--”I’m supposed to be helping Castiel with something!” The frenchman moved faster than Sam thought possible as the tiger padded forwards to take his place next to Sam. 

The beast sat down with a huff, watching Sam as the hunter slowly went back to work. 

“Does this mean you’re not ignoring me anymore?” Sam asked, glancing over his shoulder. He half expected the tiger to shift and an irate, short, golden-haired man to take his place. Gabriel would no doubt call that particular kettle black because Sam had been ignoring him too. Instead he got a low chuff--amusement--as the tiger lay down and sprawled out in the sun. Everything was simpler as a tiger, even seeking out someone Gabriel had sworn to avoid. But here, like this, Sam’s presence was soothing. The roses which had been all too often a reminder of his curse smelled heavenly in the springtime sunshine. Sam didn’t smell bad either, masculine and clean. Gabriel inhaled deeply, his tail twitching as he started to doze. “Are you really sleeping right now?”

“What do you want me to do?” Gabriel snapped, shifting into his human form. Back to complications. How could things be simple like this when his own skin didn’t feel right?!

Sam sighed, sensing the peaceful moment had passed. Gabriel bit his tongue hard to keep from going. He knew the look that had crossed Sam’s face-- he had seen it on so many other’s faces. His father-- “I’m not good at this.” Gabriel cut off his thoughts. It never did him any good to dwell on thoughts of home.

“Really? You seemed quite adept at imprisoning people the other day?” Sam quipped. He was clever, definitely well-read and sharp-tongued. Perhaps they had something in common. Gabriel was impressed at his education, his common sense, and his ability to adapt. He clearly knew how to survive which was something Gabriel whole-heartedly respected.

“That part, yes, I’m very good at.” He answered snobbishly. “It’s the befriending them afterwards that I fail miserably at.”

“Do most people want to be friends with their captors?”

“As a means to survive?” Gabriel countered with a question. “I’m trying, Sam.”

“And I don’t know what it is you’re trying for. I have no reason to trust you. Any good faith you destroyed that night in your bedroom.”

“Most people don’t last more than a day.” Gabriel revealed. “I take what I can when I can and I won’t be made to feel bad about it.”

“I’m not making you feel bad.” Sam replied. “If your conscience is finally speaking up, good for you.” He snipped off more dead parts of the roses and Gabriel had a sense of how that bush might be feeling. “I’m not just going to lie down and take your shit.”

“Well, you did once…” Gabriel drawled. Sam looked over, suddenly furious, and Gabriel remembered he was a hunter too. 

“You will find that what treatment I accept when my family’s well-being is threatened and what treatment I accept when they are safe are very different.” He hissed. “I know your weakness and I know how to exploit it. Perhaps you won’t be the one to survive this imprisonment.” It was a threat, no matter which way Gabriel looked at it. Funny, but in the moment, he didn’t have the heat in him to match Sam’s fury. He just didn’t care. He stood up, looking down on Sam before he left.

“That doesn’t sound like the worst thing that could happen.” He shrugged and walked away. He had been losing parts of himself every year that passed under this curse. Dying seemed insignificant now in the scheme of things. The goddess would have something to say about that, but she wasn’t here right now to lecture him about it. Hmm. He’d go to the shrine later once Sam was back inside. He was lucky that Sam hadn’t discovered that yet. He was lucky that Sam was as passionate about roses as he had once been.

He stepped into the castle, marveling at how the chatter stopped as soon as he entered a room. They were ghosts and beasts like him and yet, even then, there was fear. Had he truly become such a monster? “I want to give Sam a dinner.” He announced. “But I don’t want him to know it is from me. He won’t come if it’s from me.” He added on morosely. “Spare no expense.” And up the stairs, the tiger bounded, headed towards his rooms where he would spend the rest of the evening. He wouldn’t steal the night from Sam. The tiger would hunt in the morning, stealing more time away from the castle, his family, and his guest. At least until he had more of his old bluster and bite back. He just wasn’t feeling himself.

“What is this?” Sam asked as he was escorted into the extravagantly decorated ballroom. “He’s not going to propose, is he?” The tiger’s ears flicked forward from one of the upper levels, listening in. 

“Gabriel will not be joining us.” Balthazar informed Sam. None of them missed the small sigh of relief. Castiel kept his mournful thoughts to himself, but he just knew Gabriel had somehow ruined their chances yet again. Five glass goblets exploded near him and he jumped. 

“I’m sorry.” Castiel winced. “I’m so angry at him.” Sam frowned.

“At who?”

“At Gabriel!” The ghost shrieked and the window panes groaned. “He always fucks it up!”

“Cassie!” Balthazar reprimanded his cousin.

“No!” Castiel was not having it. “I want to have a life too. I want to meet people and get to know others better. Why should we be cursed when we didn’t do anything wrong?!” Sam listened intently as another ghost moved him to his chair (and away from the wrathful ghost ranting surrounded by glass).

“Thank you.” Sam murmured as he sat. He was quietly served his dinner as the other ghosts let Castiel vent. “I think it’s time you told me your story.” Sam said after a few minutes. “Your story, Castiel, not Gabriel’s. I want to help, but I can’t help if I don’t know what I’m dealing with.”

“It’s not our story--”

“Then why are we punished?!”

“Gabriel should tell it--”

“He won’t.” Castiel remarked bitterly, his hue turning red. “He never does the right thing.”


	6. The Curse

Castiel opened his mouth to speak but whatever did make it out his mouth was cut off by a ferocious roar. Gabriel dropped down in front of them, landing just shy of the table. He shifted, snapping his fingers for a robe that was draped over his nude form almost instantly. He tied the sash and sank into a chair across the long table from Sam.

“You want to hear our story? Fine.” He leaned forward. “I’ll tell you the story. Castiel doesn’t even know half of it.”

“I would if you trusted someone for once!” Castiel shrieked. “I want to know why I’m a fucking ghost!”

“Get the bracelets.” Gabriel dismissed Castiel with a flick of his fingers, his eyes scanning the room. “I’ll start at the beginning.” He looked over at Balthazar disdainfully. “You can wait outside with the others.” He glanced over at Sam before glaring at his cousin. “He’s mine.” Balthazar raised his hands in surrender with a goofy grin, slowly backing up until he melted into the darkness.

“He’s not interested in me.” Sam rolled his eyes, pushing his hair behind his ear with a huff. “And I’m not yours.”

“Sam, my cousin is interested in everyone. Ask him about the boy the wolves had to kill because of him.”

“Tell me your story first.” Sam leaned in, taking a bite of bread. “Why are you a tiger?”

“I was cursed because of these.” Gabriel spread his hands wide as Castiel dumped a container of bangles on the table. They clattered and clanged, rolling around until they settled in a shimmering pile. “In our culture, when a teenager turns old enough to be introduced into society, they are given two bracelets marking their maturity and their virginity. It’s a whole thing and frankly, it’s exhausting.” Gabriel waved a hand in the air. “Usually given around the age of fifteen, my father decided to give me mine at fourteen. We come from a family of nobility and they tend to give the bracelets a little earlier so they can form alliances with other noble families.”

“So the bracelets basically imply you’re on the market.” Sam frowned. He already didn’t like this practice very much-- it seemed exploitive at best. And then there was that whole toxic shitshow that followed purity culture. “What happens if you’re no longer a virgin?” Castiel settled down some, leaning into the marble column, listening to the tale. He knew of this part, but he didn’t know yet how it tied to him and Gabriel, other than Gabriel’s past sins, other than the piles of bracelets. 

“Whoever took your virginity gets your bracelets and first choice if a marriage proposal is given.” Sam looked down at the table with horror, scanning just how many pairs of bracelets there were. 

“You took all these people’s virginity?!”

“Before I was eighteen.” Gabriel smirked, but it was little more than a mask. All those bracelets and none could replace the ones he had taken away from him. 

“What happened to yours?” Sam was on the hunt so to speak. He was smart, Gabriel would give him that. He was asking all the right questions and Gabriel could feel those questions scraping his soul raw, threatening to reveal the truth. He had never revealed his truth. He couldn’t. It was too awful to bear, let alone share.

“On the night I was to be introduced to society, at a big ball with all the noble families present, they were taken from me.” Gabriel kept it short. He didn’t bother with details. Sam would surmise what had happened from what little he had given. “I walked into the party late without my bracelets.” He cocked his head, his jaw clenched. “My father was very disappointed in me-- called me the discount prince--” Gabriel cut himself off at that. He hadn’t meant to reveal that much.

“You’re a prince.” Sam shook his head. “I should have guessed that with the attitude.” He joked lightly. “I’m so sorry--”

“I don’t want your pity!” Gabriel’s fingers twisted into fists and he looked away. It was too late, Sam had seen past the mask, had seen the brokenness still jumbled up inside of him.

“Well, it doesn’t justify this.” Sam gestured to the bracelets between them. “And it doesn’t explain Castiel.”

“My brothers were turned into ghosts to protect them. We were sent far away so that people would forget what an embarrassment I turned out to be. My father purchased this estate in your country and sent me, my brothers, and my cousins, all those affected by the curse to be forgotten and alone.” Gabriel’s mask was back on, the bored tone back in place. 

“Your father abandoned you when you needed him most.” Sam knew how that felt. “My biological father, John, used to do shit to me and Dean before we ran away.” Gabriel stilled. Part of him wanted to lash out at Sam and tell him that he didn’t want to know his story-- his story was enough to carry. But the stronger part of Gabriel paused and listened, realizing that as insignificant as it might feel, Sam was offering him comfort in some way. It was an opportunity to get closer to the man and Gabriel decided to take it. 

“Sucks.” He managed. Castiel started, but being mostly invisible, it went unnoticed. His brother was trying for once and that hurt almost as much as it helped. 

“Yea.” Sam nodded. He turned his attention back to his plate until Gabriel kept talking.

“My brothers were turned into ghosts because the person who attacked me was someone close to us. While I never turned my rage on them, the goddess decided they’d be safest in their incorporeal forms until the person was stopped. I was cursed because a princess invoked her goddess before I could rape her. It was the first time I had tried to force someone, truly, and the goddess knew I needed to be stopped before I turned into the person who had forced me.”

“You never named them.” Sam realized. “You knew who they were, but you kept their identity a secret.”

“I will always keep it a secret.”

“Why? They don’t deserve your protection!” Castiel piped up. Gabriel shot him a baleful look and Sam put more pieces together.

“You’re not protecting them. You’re protecting yourself.”

“I’ve got to keep what pride I can, Sam.” Gabriel said softly. “Besides, naming them won’t break the curse.” 

“What happened to them?”

“The goddess cursed them too.” Gabriel smiled, a terrifyingly hollow smile. “They were sent away too, just not here.”

“They’re still out there?” Castiel moaned. 

“Yea.”

“They could still find us?”

“Yea.”

“Do you want them to find you?” Sam asked.

“No.” Gabriel shivered. “No, Sam, I don’t ever want to see them again.” He sighed, snapping his fingers and some food appeared in front of him. He picked at it, but again, mostly drank his wine. “As much as the tiger was a curse, he was also a blessing.” Gabriel picked up his goblet, his long sleeves sliding down to expose a mark on his inner arm. “He protects me when I can't protect myself. If that monster comes back, well, I’m a monster too now. I can protect myself now.” Sam thought it was all incredibly sad, but he didn’t say so out loud. It made more sense of the lord’s behavior while it also didn’t excuse it.

“What’s the mark on your arm?” Gabriel’s eyes flared open, almost feral again. He bared his arm to Sam’s gaze, his skin pale in the flickering candlelight. There on the inside of his right forearm was the tattoo of a rose.

“It’s the curse.” Gabriel said softly. “When it fades from view, I will be forever transformed.”

“You’ll be the tiger forever?”

“Yea. My humanity will be forever gone. Each passing year I become more and more feral. More and more a beast. More and more a monster.”

“Do you remember what it’s like to care about something or someone other than yourself?”

“You’re a professor of psychology now?” Gabriel laughed. “No, I don’t remember. I just don’t care. It’s so much work to care, you know?” Sam did know. He had been in a dark place similar to Gabriel’s--well as similar as they could get-- when he had been with Ruby. He had known so much of what they were doing was wrong, but he just couldn’t find it in himself to care. He just wanted to feel good and she had promised to give him that.

“You never asked what I was a professor of.” Sam reminded him of another instance of where he just didn’t care. “If you want to befriend someone, asking about them, getting to know them is a good place to start.” 

“Do you even want to get to know me?” Gabriel scoffed. 

“I’m more interested than I was before.” Sam answered truthfully. “But you won’t treat me again like you treated me that night.”

“Okay.” Gabriel agreed. He didn’t have much of a choice. He had treated Sam cruelly that night. He had enjoyed every minute of debasing the proud hunter in the way that he did. It wasn’t a good realization. He felt funny inside-- he felt guilty-- like he had when they found him on top of that princess. Like he had felt when he had been forced to meet the goddess’s piercing gaze and was found wanting. “Sorry about that.” He swallowed hard. It wasn’t the most genuine apology he had ever given, but it was the most he had tried in fifteen years. Fifteen years and he still knew all the lines to the story that had led him here. “I’ll be back later tomorrow.” He stood up from his chair and undid his robe. “The tiger needs to hunt.” 

Sam averted his eyes until Gabriel had shifted. He didn’t leave right away as they expected, no, the tiger crept right up to Sam and stared at him with those big, solemn eyes. Sam pressed his lips together and shrugged slightly, reaching out to touch the top of the tiger’s head.

“Happy hunting.” Sam said softly and the tiger ducked his head, butting Sam’s elbow gently. Sam watched him leave the dining room with conflicting feelings battling inside. Just what had he gotten himself mixed up in when he agreed to take Bobby’s place? And another thing, how did they break the curse? Gabriel had left that part out although Sam didn’t think it was intentional. Sam just thought Gabriel didn’t think it could be done. It had something to do with the prisoners before him and Gabriel had a hallway of their portraits to prove that all of those had failed. That meant that now, breaking the curse had something to do with Sam. He knew it, he could feel it in his bones. He just didn’t know how. Not yet. He’d figure it out though.

Things wouldn’t be easy though. Gabriel had done something big in showing up and revealing his story although it had troubled him to do so. But if Sam had learned anything about that man, is that he would lash out sooner or later. Sam just had to survive it. Then they would slowly get to the bottom of all this. 

Also, Sam needed to find out what goddess was behind the curse. Then he could research this more deeply-- he just needed a clue and a library. He was good at finding the answers once he knew where to look.


	7. Stories Upon Stories

“I like this one.” The tiger whirled around to come face to face with the goddess. His golden eyes widened and he ducked his head down in deference and respect. He went to change back but she snapped her fingers. “I want you to stay like this and just listen for once, Gabriel.”

Gabriel struggled inside of his tiger form, the ability to change temporarily taken away. Panic welled up inside of him but then the tiger reclaimed his mind, snapping him back into a peaceful state. Buried inside the beast’s mind, he struggled to break free, screaming for help until he too was snapped silent. “That’s better.” 

Kali was as stunning as usual, her red lips perfectly painted and pursed. “I like this Sam, Gabriel. And I shouldn’t say this, don’t want to give you false hope, but you actually have a chance with this one if you’re good. You do remember how to be good, don’t you?” She didn’t mean to be cruel, she didn’t mean to sound like his father, but it happened all the same. It was wounding to the man’s soul still inside of those orange and black stripes. “He’s curious. I’ll warn you that he will uncover everything you never wanted him to know. He’ll find out about him, but in honesty and vulnerability lies your chance at redemption. You’ll both suffer for this curse to be broken, and that alone will decide if you think it’s worth it.” Sparks flew from her fingers and twisted around her ankles, traveling up her body until she was gone. The destroyer, the creator, and the mother of all.

Gabriel had never known his mother. She had died when he was young, before his memory could properly hold her close. When everything had gone to shit, Kali had punished him, but she also had decided to mother him. 

As soon as he felt the ability return, Gabriel switched back. He lay naked on the grass, tears streaming down his cheeks as he yelled his panic and despair at the night sky. Stars twinkled down as he curled up into a ball, sobbing out his fears. He was raw, so terribly raw, broken and jagged. Sam was going to get cut on the shards of what remained of him, but Gabriel didn’t care. He had a chance. And if Sam had to bleed a little to save him, he’d risk it. Kali had shaken him in a way he had never been shaken before. He had felt what it would feel like when the curse finally won and Gabriel knew in his heart, he would die before he let that happen. He’d impale himself on his broken parts first. One way, one of them bleed before he let the curse take hold forever.

The tiger nudged inside his mind, reminding him of his hunger. Gabriel was torn between two very different parts, both of them longing and hungering for things that seemed impossible to get. He gave in, shifting back into the beast he’d most likely end up as. At least one of those longings could be met. Killing a deer and feasting on it’s flesh and bones seemed easier than wooing Sam and breaking a curse. 

Kali might think there was a chance but Gabriel knew himself. Castiel was right. He’d always fuck it up and then what would Sam think of him? He needed Sam to love him, to love the man he had been before everything was dark and twisted, but how could he do what Gabriel could not?

He hadn’t told Sam the full truth about the curse. It wasn’t about the mark fading. If the mark faded on human skin, then the curse would be broken. But there was a time coming when fur would forever cover that mark, and in that instant, the curse would forever be.

The tiger paced restlessly before catching a scent. The hunt was on, the tiger launching himself forward quickly and quietly. He was on the deer before the frightened animal could react, teeth sinking through hide and flesh. The herd scattered and the tiger lay down with his catch, caring more about feeding than about breaking curses.

Back at the castle, Sam still sat at the long table. They had moved on to desert, Balthazar rejoining them once more. 

“So tell me your stories.” Sam asked.

“I was a child.” Castiel sighed, hovering close. “Gabriel is four years older than I am. So when he was cursed at twenty, I was barely sixteen. After what happened with Gabriel, I didn’t get my bracelets until fifteen. I still have them.” He remarked bitterly. “Not for lack of trying, but the body of a ghost doesn’t get to take pleasure from anything.”

“How long have you been like this?” Sam asked. Castiel gave a low moan. He didn’t know.

“Fifteen years.” His cousin filled in. “I’ve been keeping track.”

“And what about you? Gabriel accused you of not being able to keep your hands to yourself.” Sam asked. 

“Ha, I’m charming, what can I say?” Balthazar laughed. “I’ve paid for my crimes and Gabriel’s. I’m allowed to have a little fun, especially if this is a permanent thing.” Castiel gave him a hard look and he stopped himself.

“What’s your curse?” Sam prompted.

“Being a servant to my pompous cousin.” Balthazar joked. The chill in the room meant Castiel was nervous. “Why do we have to make this hard for him, cousin? It’s hard enough, isn’t it? I mean he has to do the impossible to break this fucking curse.” A dish shattered against Balthazar’s face, cutting into his skin. Balthazar just laughed, picking out shards that healed quickly. 

“What are you?”

“I can shift too.” Balthazar waggled his eyebrows. 

“Balth.” Castiel was glaring. “We’re not supposed to spill all the secrets out. That’s how they become overwhelmed and unstable.” Sam laughed.

“I’m a professor of psychology and lore. I’m also a pretty good hunter. I don’t think I’m going to be scared away anytime soon.”

“See?” Balthazar grinned. “He’s strong and experienced.” A wink was directed at Sam and Sam realized Gabriel was right. Balthazar would also be willing to take what he could get. What a family resemblance. “What animal do you think I can turn into?” He asked Sam, leaning forward with a gleam in his silver eyes.

“Wolf.” 

“Damn, you’re smart too.” 

“Stop flirting with me.”

“And he’s loyal! I hope Gabriel knows what a catch he has in between his paws.” Sam felt like that wasn’t really the compliment Balthazar had implied it was. He raised an eyebrow and Balthazar raised his hands. “Fine. It’s a good thing, really. It’s just the guy is kind of an asshole and it’s his fault we’re like this--”

“Isn’t it also the fault of whoever attacked him?” Sam asked. He wasn’t one for victim blaming.

“Please. You really believe that sob story? He got caught trying to rape someone. Of course he spun a tale to garner sympathy.” Sam recalled the look in Gabriel’s eyes when he told the story and shook his head.

“I believe him. Something happened.”

“Well, you two are a match made in heaven.” Balthazar bared his teeth. He turned his head to the window as a faint howl rose up to the window. “I’ve got to go. The pack needs me.” He didn’t bother looking back as he headed out of the dining room. 

“Well, this is a clusterfuck.” Sam sighed, propping his head in his hands. “You have a library around here, Castiel?”

“Ask Gabriel.” The ghost replied. “He’s the one who reads the most around here.”

“Castiel.”

“Sam.”

“What’s the first thing you’d do if you were human again?” The ghost was silent for a moment before cocking his head to the side.

“Ask your handsome brother to have a drink with me.”

“Oh really?” Sam’s eyebrows rose in surprise before he smiled. “You seem like you’d be a cool brother-in-law to have.”

“Thanks.” A pause. “Likewise.You’re the first guest to treat me how I used to be.” Castiel smiled before fading. “I hope you can break the curse.”

“Who placed the curse? Which goddess?” Castiel hesitated, clearly afraid to tell Sam.

“I can’t tell you. She has put rules in place for the curse to be broken-- it feels like a game at times except we’re all pieces on the board.” Castiel glanced outside. “There is a shrine on the palace grounds-- I can tell you that much. If you find it, a lot more will become clear.”

“Thanks.” Sam smiled. He felt content and curious. It was a good dinner and he had a case to solve. “Also thank you for dinner tonight. It was really good.”

“I shouldn’t tell you this.”

“But you’re going to?” Sam guessed and the ghost laughed.

“Gabriel asked us to put the dinner on for you.” Castiel blurted out. “It was after the gardens and he wanted to do something nice, but he didn’t want to be involved because he didn’t think he’d come.”

“Well, while he was right about that-- that was very thoughtful of him.” Sam said diplomatically. “Perhaps there is more to him than I first assumed.” 

“Don’t give us false hope.” Castiel said softly. “We can’t handle anymore heartbreak. Gabriel was telling the truth in his story-- I was the one who found him and untied him. He made me swear not to say anything. There was blood and bruising and other things…” Castiel trailed off. “I wouldn’t wish that on anyone.” 

“Shit, I’m sorry, Cas.” Sam did the math. “You were ten. You shouldn’t have had to see that.”

“If I hadn’t heard him, he would have been stuck there for the whole night.” Castiel shook his head. “No, I’m glad I heard him. Perhaps it’s why I look out for him sometimes. I want things to be better for him, you know?”

“Did you see who did it?”

“No.” Castiel shook his head. “They were gone by the time he started yelling for help.” The ghost shuddered. “I want him to be happy, Sam, I do. I just would like to be happy too.”

“Well, I will do what I can to help you all. I can’t promise a broken curse, but I can promise a solid try.”

“I don’t want you to feel guilted into this--”

“Castiel, I want to help. It’s a compelling case and well, this is what I do and study for a living.” Sam cracked a smile. “I’m intrigued. I want to know more and I will go find that shrine if you don’t mind.” He got up from the table. “Have any flashlights?”

“Of course.” Castiel retrieved one. “Be careful out there. If you stay out of the woods, the wolves won’t hurt you. They’re not like the tiger-- they don’t recognize friends from foe when they’re in their animal forms. They only know the hunt.”

“Avoid the woods, got it.” Sam pulled on a coat. “Thanks, Castiel. See you when I get back.”

“Happy hunting.” Castiel echoed Sam’s earlier words to the tiger, watching the hunter go with an unexplainable twinge of anxiety. He hoped nothing bad would happen to Sam. Not when they were the closest they had ever been. No one had made it this long-- no one had cared about them before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this story has taken on a second life of its own and I'm allowing inspiration to drive it where it may. but for those who read the original, yes, there are definitely some changes, but nothing too major.


	8. The Goddess

“Good morning, Castiel.” Gabriel cracked an eye open to see Castiel hovering by his bed. He felt content and satiated. Last night had been a success, overall. He shivered as he recalled the terror he had felt, trapped in his tiger form. “Last night went well.”

“I hope so.” Castiel warbled. “Did you see Sam outside last night by any chance?” Gabriel sat up, the covers falling down to expose his pale skin to the sun. 

“No. Why?”

“He never came back in last night. He went to find Kali’s shrine, he was very curious about everything.

“He didn’t come back?” Gabriel threw back his covers and hopped out of bed. “Castiel, we have to find him! If he gets past the wolves…” He paused. “Fuck, the wolves…”

“I told him to stay out of the forest.” 

“And you expected him to listen?!” Gabriel didn’t bother with clothes, changing into his faster form. He charged down the stairs and through the doors that two ghosts opened for him. Huh. He hadn’t seen Uriel in a while. He was glad he wasn’t hiding down behind the boiler anymore.

He raced towards the forest, determined to hunt down this goddamn hunter when he heard a faint cry. It was a cry for help and it sounded like Sam. He turned away from the forest, scenting the wind. There! He ran on, following the hunter’s scent and his cries to an abandoned building at the edge of the meadow. It was the building before the shrine. Sam had gotten very close to his quest, very close indeed.

“Sam?” He switched into his human form, pulling on a pair of pants as he ran towards the ruin.

“Gabriel?!” Sam answered, sounding frantic. Gabriel could smell the fear pounding through him. “I can’t hold off much longer!” Gabriel rounded the corner and hurried close. The ruins had collapsed on Sam, and he was bracing the part of the wall that had fallen on him despite being injured, but he had been hurt in other places. Gabriel could smell his blood.

“Have you been out here all night?” Gabriel was grateful for his superhuman strength as he lifted the wall up. A groaning was all the warning he got before another wall fell towards them. Sam nodded, freezing as the bricks pitched towards them. “Sam, you need to move now.” Gabriel gritted his teeth as the weight hit his back. He wasn’t invincible, just strong. His words spurred Sam on and the hunter crawled out as quickly as he could. Gabriel let the first wall fall before edging along the second one that he was bracing with his body. He jumped away from it, crawling over to where Sam lay slumped against the hill. “You okay?”

“It hurts.” Sam was holding his ribs. “I know I probably shouldn’t have been poking around.”

“Castiel filled me in.” Gabriel said as soothingly as he could. “You can explore as much as you want once you’ve recovered. I’ll send one of the wolves for the doctor.” They had a doctor on staff for the things they couldn’t fix on their own. He was paid very handsomely to keep quiet.

“Balthazar hit on me.” Sam blurted out as Gabriel got up stiffly. “I told him no.” Gabriel didn’t say anything at first, feeling stunned. His shock must have shown on his face because Sam continued. “I’m not interested in him and while I’m not head over heels for you either, I am curious about the curse and I want to help.” Gabriel felt along his face to make sure his jaw was closed. This felt strongly like compassion and Gabriel didn’t know how to handle that. It scraped in all the raw places.

“Thank you.” He managed through the thickness in his throat. He winced as he tried to move and pitched forwards instead, catching himself on his hands.

“You’re hurt.”

“No shit.” Gabriel hissed. 

“No, like you’re bleeding.” Sam’s eyes were wide and Gabriel wondered what he was seeing. He pressed his hand to the back of his neck and head, his fingers coming away wet and sticky.

“Oh, shit.” Gabriel groaned. 

“Come on.” Sam helped him up. “Let’s get back.” Gabriel blinked, his vision appearing fuzzy. He hung off of Sam’s arm as they picked their way across the field.

“What’s going on?” Balthazar ran up. 

“We need the doctor.” Sam said sternly and Balthazar ran off without any more questions. 

“I don’t need your help.” Gabriel growled, yanking his arm free. He stumbled into the door frame but held himself there out of pure stubbornness. He turned back into the tiger, trusting only himself to get him to safety. He snarled as Sam stepped closed, swiping out with one of his big paws. Sam cried out and the tiger’s eyes widened. He hadn’t meant to land the blow. He turned, bleeding from his head still, even in this form. He wouldn’t let anyone get close. Fuck this and fuck the curse. There were other ways out. 

“Gabriel.” Sam shook his head and tensed. He was pretty sure he had broken at least one rib if his childhood trauma from John had anything to say. He hoped the doctor would come soon. He got it, even if he was annoyed by it. Gabriel didn’t trust anyone and he especially didn’t trust them when he was weaker than usual. He was making sure that he didn’t get hurt. But Sam didn’t want to hurt him, hell, out of the two of them, Gabriel had been the one to hurt him! “Ugh.” Sam was starting to feel unprepared for how deep this all ran. He needed to get to that shrine and find out who was behind the curse. That was where he needed to start.

“Where are you going?” Castiel asked as he limped back towards the meadow.

“I’ll be fine.” Sam waved off his concern. “I’ve had worse. I need to find that shrine. I’ll be back when the doctor gets here.”

“I’ll send a wolf for you.” Castiel sighed as he watched Sam go. He couldn’t stray that far outside of the castle or else he would go with Sam to make sure he stayed safe. “I’ll go check on Gabriel.” He said to himself. “He can’t cut me though he tries.”

Sam staggered across the meadow, hissing as he jostled his leg with each step. The tiger’s claws had dug deep, stinging as blood leaked into his only pair of jeans. He was careful moving past the ruins that had trapped him the night before. He hadn’t even meant to go into them. He had heard his name, he had seen movement, and part of him had thought(hoped) it might be Gabriel. He had gone inside and then the wall had fallen, trapping him. It could have killed him. It troubled him though he didn’t let it show. Someone had tried to hurt him and he had to think it had to do with his interest in the curse. Someone didn’t want him to break the curse. The questions were who and why? Who would benefit from this? 

This was why he forced himself into the shrine. He needed answers. Nothing was adding up and to top it all of, he and Gabriel had gotten hurt. Knowing the goddess was a step in hopes of eliminating a suspect. He needed to know which one she was and if she was the wrathful/vengeful kind.

“Samuel Winchester, bleeding in my shrine like he owns the place.” Sam glanced up started by the female voice. Light shone out behind the statues representing her in her different forms, but none of them did the goddess before him justice.

“Kali.” He said, wide-eyed. He bowed his head, respectful even in his shock. He’d take a knee, but he didn’t think he’d be able to get back up.

“You know me.” Her red lips quirked upwards. She was beautiful, dark brown skin, black-lined eyes, red lips. She wore a red and gold sari and stilettos that looked sharp enough to carve Sam’s heart out.

“I’ve heard of you in my studies.” Sam cocked his head.

“You have questions for me.” She studied him. “But let’s not detract from why you’re here. Being useful makes you feel good about yourself, doesn’t it? Fills that hole up inside of you.”

“I’d rather bring good into the world than evil.”

“You think I’m evil?”

“I didn’t say that.”

“But you have doubts as to why I am doing what I am doing to Gabriel.” Sam winced. 

“It seems a bit cruel?”

“Cruel?” She laughed. “I’ve been called many things, Sam Winchester, but I am not cruel.”

“Then why the curse? Why is it so unbreakable that no one will speak of it to me?”

“Breaking the curse is difficult to them, especially to Gabriel, but more on that later. Answer me this, Sam Winchester, what would be more cruel of me? Leave him to become the monster who hurt him or intervene before that could happen? Part of him would have died forever if I had not come when called.”

“Why didn’t you intervene before?”

“I wasn’t his goddess. He didn’t call for me.”

“And now?”

“Now he’s built me a shrine. You could say he’s a believer. You’re not much of a believer in anything, are you, Sam?”

“I believe that people can do wonderful and horrible things.” Sam answered truthfully. “Beyond that, I’ve had questions. I’ll pray in an old church or temple, but nothing fits like it’s for me.”

“Hmm.” Kali regarded him carefully. “I like you, Sam Winchester. I told Gabriel you had a chance although judging by the claw marks in your legs, he doesn’t believe me. Or perhaps I was cruel, letting him know he had a chance while giving him a taste of what failure would feel like.” She smirked. “I’m all of the things, Sam. I am a destroyer, but from the destruction, I create something new. I destroyed Gabriel’s life and in doing so, I gave him a chance to heal and recover. I gave him hope. Above all, I am a mother. And he needed a mother.”

“I see-e.” Sam stuttered, trying to wrap his mind around all that she was saying. It was a lot to take in.

“You didn’t have a mother either.”

“She died when I was a baby.”

“Bobby raised you well though, even if John did not. You had something beautiful be born from the destruction. Gabriel’s father was not as inclined as Bobby to be there for his children. Truly, keeping them far away from him, even under a curse, is a blessing in disguise.” She smiled. Sam relaxed some, but his leg was paining him more and more with each passing moment. “Be at peace, Sam. You are strong, strong enough to persevere through the challenges ahead. You’ll doubt it when the time comes, but you must not give up.”

“Are you still talking about the curse?” Sam asked.

“No.” She evaded his question carefully. “I believe in you though. You have a heart big enough to break the curse.”

“And how do I do that?”

“Easy.” She grinned, her teeth a dazzling white. “The curse will be broken when someone loves Gabriel for who he is, for all his parts, even the ones he hates.”

“He doesn’t think it can be done.” Sam guessed.

“He said it best himself when I told him the trick. He asked how someone could do what he could not. Your work will be difficult. You can choose to not embark on this quest and no one will blame you. He is tricky at best, especially since he does not know how to love himself. But he’s capable of it. I would see him achieve it, but I think he will need some help from you along the way. Trust doesn’t come naturally to him anymore.”

“You know who raped him.”

“I do. I cursed them as well. But that is not my story to tell. Now back to the castle with you, Sam Winchester, the doctor is here and I will not have you fainting on the floor of my temple. If you ever need to pray, my shrine is open to you.” She waved her fingers at him and the room spun, righting itself to be the lobby of the castle. Sam fell, clutching his ribs.

“Sam!” Castiel squawked, rushing by his side. “Come on, let’s get you to your room. The doctor wants to see you.”

“Great.” Sam managed as the room began to spin for an entirely different reason. “I don’t think I can get there right now.”

“Okay.” Castiel whistled and two more ghosts appeared. They spirited Sam to his room and lay him on top of his mint green bed covers. 

“I ruined my pants. It’s my last pair.”

“We’ll get you more.” Sam swore that was Gabriel’s voice, but he couldn’t be sure. How long had he been in the shrine, how much blood had he lost? “I’ll send a wolf.”

“Thanks.” Sam was going to be sick if the room didn’t stop spinning and then the doctor started tending his injuries, and even though he was being gentle, Sam blacked out.


	9. Brothers

“You saw Kali.” It wasn’t a question. Sam forced his eyelids open and groggily looked around his room. He was in bed, comfortable, dressed in pyjamas that were definitely not his even though they were in his size. Were they silk? He hated to admit it, but they were comfortable and the sage color was nice, soothing even. His bloody jeans and comforter were nowhere to be seen, no sign of the violence his body had endured except for his bandages. “You shouldn’t have blacked out-- that was the first clue.” 

Sam zeroed on Gabriel sitting near the foot of his bed, sitting cross-legged like it was the most natural thing for him to be there. “And then she came and told me herself. You made quite the impression. Also, I’m sorry for that.” He nodded towards Sam’s leg. “I didn’t mean to actually scratch you, although, from what the doctor said, I did more than scratch you. So, um, sorry?”

“Okay.” Sam croaked. After all he had experienced yesterday and yet here he was having a hard time processing that the sometimes assholish lord of the castle was apologizing for real. 

“And I’m sorry for how I treated you when we were having sex. I shouldn’t have choked you like that. It was cruel.”

“Did I hit my head?” Sam smiled softly, showing that he appreciated the apology even if he was joking about it.

“Probably.” Gabriel smirked. “I know I did. Doctor said I’d have a concussion if it wasn’t for my fast healing properties.”

“Lucky.” Sam said without much heat. He felt like he had been run over by a truck. “What’d he say about me?”

“He said you’re a shit out of luck when it comes to fast healing properties.” Gabriel smiled. “But that you’ll be okay. You broke a couple ribs, lots of bruising on your chest and shoulders, and then there’s your leg. Nothing that rest can’t fix.”

“Can I ask you for something?” Sam said cautiously.

“Anything within my power.” Gabriel leaned to the side. There was something different about him, something Sam couldn’t put his finger on just yet. He needed to wake up more first.

“I want to see Dean. I promised to be your prisoner, but can he come here as long as he leaves the silver alone? I know Castiel wouldn’t mind seeing him again either.” Sam added on sneakily.

“I’ll see what I can do.” And Gabriel pushed himself off Sam’s bed, sliding to the floor. His bare feet made little to no noise as he walked out of Sam’s room and down the hall. Sam still felt tired and so he didn’t fight it as he slid back into sleep, smiling at the thought of seeing his brother again. It would be nice to see Dean. It would be grounding in all this madness and maybe Dean could bring him books so he could study this curse more. 

But Kali had said that love would break the curse and as of right now, Sam did not love Gabriel. Not even a little. Sure, he pitied him and hoped he could improve, but Sam did not love him.

It would be when he woke up much later in the afternoon with Dean sitting next to his bed like a worried hen that the difference between Gabriel then and Gabriel now was that Gabriel had finally treated him with real respect. 

“Dean!” Sam lit up. “You’re really here.”

“Sammy.” Dean grumbled, getting up to pull him into a tight hug. “What happened? Doc said you broke some ribs and got clawed up by the overgrown housecat who came to get me himself.”

“He said he was going to sent a wolf.” 

“Really?” Dean snapped his fingers. “That’s what you’re focused on here? Sammy, the tiger hurt you and he promised me he wouldn’t.”

“It was an accident, Dean. And besides, he saved me. A wall fell on me while I was exploring and he’s the one who found me and got me out. When he accidentally clawed me, he was hurt too. He got hit in the back of the head and I cornered him.”

“Are you really defending him?” Dean asked indignantly. “I’m happy to see you, but not like this, and not with you defending him like he’s Ruby!”

“He’s nothing like Ruby, Dean. There’s a case here and I’m trying to help them solve it.”

“All the denial happening around here is making it a little hard to see that.” Dean folded his arms across his chest.

“I’m not denying anything, Dean! I’m telling you the truth! I need you to believe me!”

“Ah, quick reminder,” Gabriel popped his head in, “Sam is supposed to be resting. Doctor’s orders.”

“Why? So you can hurt him again?!” 

“It was an accident!” Sam answered for Gabriel.

“I didn’t mean it, truly. Sam has been a gracious guest. I would not want any harm to befall him.”

“But orgasms are okay.” Dean fired off.

“Only if he wants them.” Gabriel pressed his lips together in a tight line. “His body is utterly his own.”

“Good.” Dean glared and Gabriel backed down just the once, leaving the brothers to sort things out on their own. “He seems different.” Dean sank into his chair. “Why?”

“There really is a case here, Dean. There is a curse and I’ve found and seen so many interesting things. I met a goddess if you can believe it!”

“Ah, that’s why you blacked out.” Dean connected the two. “Gabriel tried to say that your injuries didn’t cause your state of unconsciousness and I didn’t believe him. But he failed to mention a goddess.”

“I haven’t really gotten around to telling him about it. I was standing in her temple and then she sent me back to the castle like that.”

“Shit, Sammy, come home.” Dean’s brow furrowed. “I don’t like this. It doesn’t feel right and it certainly isn’t safe. They’ll be all right without you.”

“I actually think they do need my help on this, Dean.” Sam shook his head. “And I want to help. The more I learn, the more I’m intrigued. I want to see this case to the end and break the curse.”

“And how do you do that?” Dean challenged, raising an eyebrow.

“I don’t know yet.” Sam lied. “But I’m close. I’m real close, Dean.”

“Just don’t start lying to me again.” Dean softened. “I don’t want to go through that again, worrying about you and all that. Not trying to beat you.” He said quickly. “I’m just saying that I give a shit.”

“Love you, Dean.” Sam said softly. He still knew better than to tell Dean the truth about the curse. If Dean knew that loving Gabriel was the cure… well, he really would think it was Ruby all over again, even though Sam absolutely did not love Gabriel. “Thank you for caring.”

“Of course.” Dean said gruffly. “I’m your brother. Now what do you need for the case?”

“Silver.” Sam snorted. “But just in case the other shifter finds them.”

“There’s another one.”

“I’m assuming. Kali said she cursed the person who started this all.”

“It didn’t start with Gabriel?”

“No.”

“So why is he cursed?”

“According to Kali? Mercy.” Sam answered. “She said she stopped him before he could become the thing that hurt him. She broke the cycle.”

“So there’s abuse…”

“Yea. Sexual abuse.” Sam said softly. “He was just a kid, a young teen.”

“Shit. Makes sense why he was so weird about the two of you having sex.”

“Yea, that hasn’t happened since.” Sam’s ears turned bright red but Dean decided to spare him the teasing just this once. That had been a night for all of them— he didn’t want to dwell on what had happened. Sam would do anything for them and to think he had done that… it made Dean feel like he failed to protect his little brother. “We’re working on learning each other and maybe becoming friends.”

“Wow.” Dean made a face. “How’s that going?”

“It’s been better than expected. He trusts people as much as we do.” Dean snorted.

“Then you know how to handle that.”

“Yea, I do. He doesn’t know that yet though.” Sam smiled. “Now when can I get out of bed and get back on the case?”

“Oh no.” Dean shook his head. “We will bring things to you and you will rest and recover.” He grinned as Sam rolled his eyes. 

“Jerk.”

“Bitch.”

“I’m going to get Gabriel to send you back home.”

“Nope, I’m not going anywhere for a few days, I have my own room and everything.” Dean beamed. “Gabriel showed me the library, so let me know what you need and I’ll bring it up.”

“There’s a library?” Sam asked wistfully.

“You will love it. It’s like the library of your wet dreams.”  
Dean teased. Sam made a bitchface at him, but he was in too much of a good mood between having Dean here and discovering there was a library in the castle to care.

Things felt normal for once and it was a nice feeling, a nice break from all the comings and goings of an enchanted castle and its cursed inhabitants. This case was the long game and Sam was going to need breaks like this to make it to the other side.


	10. Healing Worries

The next few days were lovely, even if Sam was confined to his bed for most of them. It was just easier. Just going to the bathroom was a challenge, more because it made his stitches pull. 

“Here you are.” Dean popped in with his books from the library. “Oh, and Balthazar says hi.”

“Why doesn’t he just come up?”

“Big cat won’t let him.”

“Mm, that’s probably for the best.” Sam smirked. “He tried hitting on me once or twice. Gabriel does not like that at all.” Dean made a face.

“I don’t really like that either. Was it like Gordon?”

“Not that bad.” Sam grimaced. “I do not understand why Gordon doesn’t understand that I have no interest in him.

“Who’s Gordon?” Sam and Dean both blinked, turning to look at the door quickly. Gabriel leaned against the doorframe, his hair tousled and falling over his face. He had come to check on Sam as was his custom to do in the afternoons-- he hadn’t meant to listen in, but now he was curious.

“He’s another hunter.” Dean answered for Sam, folding his arms across his chest. He was closing ranks, protecting his brother. Gabriel had seen how he had surprised them, how they had switched into modes he had never seen before. Someone had hurt the Winchesters, maybe more than one someone. He cocked his head to side, studying them as they pretended they were without weakness. Sam cracked first, or maybe he was doing that thing again, letting Gabriel in. Studying the brothers had been good for Gabriel these past few days, he had never known that kind of closeness with his siblings. It was foreign but intriguing. 

“Gordon thinks that him and I have a cosmic connection.” Sam leaned forward. “You can come in, Gabriel.” Gabriel slipped inside soundlessly and hopped up on the bed with ease. He settled at the end, looking very content to be invited. Almost smug. He glanced over at Dean to see the slight glare. Sam’s face was open, welcoming. “He’s an awful guy, needlessly cruel. He hunts because he likes killing.” Sam’s body shifted into something less relaxed. “When he looks at me, I feel like his prey.” Sam shuddered. “Not a good guy.”

“He doesn’t take no for an answer?” Gabriel tilted his head again. 

“Not until Dean pulled the shotgun on him.” Sam’s shoulders pulled in tightly and he traced the page of the book open in his lap. “But even then--”

“Well, you’re safe here.” Gabriel blurted out. “You know… I’d like to see a hunter take on me and my wolves.” His chest puffed out slightly. Dean glanced from Sam to Gabriel, studying them carefully. Gabriel was definitely still interested in Sam, even if he was taking a much more cautious approach since that first night. Sam didn’t seem bothered by his presence, in fact, once the conversation turned back to the case, Sam seemed to relax into it. Huh. Gabriel liked Sam and Sam wanted to help Gabriel, even if he didn’t like him like that back. Dean pursed his lips, stepping out into the hallway. 

He was returning back to normal life tomorrow, and while he had been trying to convince Sam to leave, he decided to stop. For whatever reason, Sam was supposed to be here. Maybe he could help Gabriel and the rest of the castle. Dean wasn’t sure about the whole curse… it sounded a little too much like a fairytale for him to be completely comfortable with Sam being the one to break the curse. But they had been on enough strange hunts and cases for Dean to know that it could work all out. Besides, Sam was safe here. Gabriel was invested enough for that, even if the man and tiger didn’t know how much.

“Dean.” Dean jumped as Castiel materialized extremely close to his face. “It’s been so nice to have you here with Sam these past few days.”

“Thanks, Cas.” Dean had shortened the ghost’s name since he arrived. It was a pretty name, but the ghost deserved a nickname-- and he seemed to love it. “Remember about the space we talked about. You about scared the shit out of me.” Dean’s mouth quirked up in the corner. 

“My apologies, Dean.” Cas floated back a pace or two. “I don’t want you to go.”

“I’ll be back in a few weeks, Cas.” Dean reassured him. “I’ll be checking in on you all then. Don’t worry.” 

“I worry all the time.” Castiel warbled floating down towards the kitchens. Dean made his way down the grand, marble stairs, hurrying after the ghost.

“What do you worry about, Cas?”

“It’s nice to talk to you.”

“It’s nice talking to you too, Cas. I’m here to listen if you want.”

“Not many people want to listen to me. You and Sam have been the first in a long time.” Castiel blew out a sigh of air that he didn’t need. It was something he had picked up from his more human brother. 

“Do you think Sammy can do it?” Dean asked. “Is that what you worry about?”

“Sam has made it much farther than all the others. No one has ever made it this far.” Castiel moaned slightly as the spring breeze through the windows blew him over to the side. “I think if he can’t do it, no one can.”

“Not even me?” Dean joked. “Also what others?”

“I don’t think it would work for you.” Castiel answered with all seriousness. “Gabriel doesn’t like you like that.”

“The others?” Dean didn’t let that go. 

“There were other guests before Sam.”

“What happened to them?”

“They died.”

“Died how?”

“Two by the wolves, one by her own hand, one by the tiger.” Dean’s eyes widened. He wasn’t so sure Sam was that safe here now, even though Gabriel seemed devoted to keeping him safe. “The last one tried to kill Gabriel.” Castiel added on, noticing Dean’s demeanor had changed. “I seriously doubt Gabriel would do anything to Sam with the way that he watches over him.”

“Cas, I’ve got to ask you something. How is the curse broken?” Dean asked, not fully expecting an answer.

“Sam needs to fall in love with Gabriel.” Castiel didn’t see the point in hiding the truth. Sam had figured it out pretty quickly on his own, risking his life to do so, which had touched the ghost more than he could convey. He was going to have to keep a better eye on Sam. He wanted him to survive this.

“Are you shitting me? No way in hell that’s happening.” Dean snorted. “Sam feels for you all, but I don’t think he feels that way about Gabriel.” Dean didn’t say it, but he was relieved Sam didn’t feel that way about Gabriel. It was still too soon from the shit with Ruby. Dean needed to know Gabriel wasn’t just another monster, another abuser, for Sam to run to.

“Then the curse will never be broken and I will be cursed to remain in this form for the rest of my days.” Castiel chattered. “I’d rather fade away into nothingness at that point.”

“Wait...so you all are cursed because of something that someone did to Gabriel and the goddess intervened before he could perpetuate the cycle of abuse?”

“Protection, as odd as it is.” Castiel moved a chair over for Dean to sit near the fireplace. “Gabriel’s attacker is still at large. Hopefully, they never find us. Gabriel might be able to defend himself now, but--” the ghost cocked his head to one side, “I don’t know how he’ll respond to seeing his abuser again.”

“I hate abusive assholes.” Dean sighed, recalling his and Sam’s childhood. “I get why Sam wants to help. I just don’t know about him and Gabriel.”

“Agreed. Abusers are assbutts.” Castiel murmured. “And I think they have chemistry… Gabriel needs to remember how to be human.”

“I don’t think it’s as easy as that.” Dean mused. “Abuse changes a person. He has to want to try to live again. None of it is his fault and yet he has to want to try again under the weight of another’s sins.”

“You and Sam are the most compassionate men I have met.” Castiel commented.

“Well, when you’ve lived through the shit we have…” Dean shrugged, trailing off. He liked Castiel. Nicest ghost ever. He wasn’t ready to tell him his life story however.

“Thank you.” Castiel said simply. “I feel the most human when I talk to you.”


	11. Escape Route

Dean left the next day but not before he hugged his brother fiercely. Sam melted into the embrace, clinging to Dean for a moment.

“Come back and visit some time, jerk.” Sam smiled as Dean let him go. “Or else I might miss you.” Dean smiled back, oddly reassured by his brother’s invitation that maybe this was different from the demon.

“Sammy, send for me anytime you feel over your head. Or if you want company.” Dean nudged him gently. “Hey, Cas told me how to break the curse.” He said softly so any listening ears might not hear.

“What?” Sam’s eyes widened almost comically. “How??”

“You have to fall in love with Gabriel.” Dean snorted. “Good luck with that.”

“Thanks.” Sam blinked. “Maybe I’ll research a little harder, see if there’s another way. I can’t force feelings.”

“Hey, I think you’re on the right track. At least be his friend.” Dean nodded. “Love can be relative. Maybe there’s a loophole. You have a big heart, Sammy. If anyone can do this, well, maybe you can.”

“You mean that, Dean?” Sam’s face softened and Dean pulled him into another tight hug.

“Of course, I mean it. I’m proud of you, Sammy.”

“Thanks, Dean.” Sam whispered. “That means a lot. I’m proud of you too.”

“Thanks, bitch.” Dean teased lightly. “I gotta go. I promised Bobby I’d be back today. You know how he worries.”

“Give him my love.”

“I will.” Sam watched Dean go, climb into his truck, and drive off.

“I will miss him too.” Castiel warbled, settling next to Sam. His heart felt full of hope today-- and yes, he had been eavesdropping on purpose. To hear Dean encourage Sam to help them break their curse, well, it meant a lot to the ghost. All the more reason to want to be free. He wanted to kiss that damn Dean Winchester sooner than later.

* * *

Someone standing in the shadows heard all that the ghost and the Winchesters had said. Something ugly gripped their heart, squeezing it into something unrecognizable, something that yearned to bring down judgment on Gabriel and his entire household, one that now included one Sam Winchester. The shadow slipped away, back outside, on the hunt for what mattered most: revenge. Kali, who saw all, turned away. A trap had been set and it may be the unmaking. The curse had truly become a curse, corrupting the heart until nothing good remained.

* * *

The next few days passed without incident. Gabriel kept visiting Sam’s room in the afternoon while the tall hunter continued to heal and Sam kept inviting him in. They had found a familiar routine, and to Castiel’s and Balthazar’s watchful eyes, they seemed to be growing closer together. But as Castiel was correct to prophesy, Gabriel would come to eventually fuck it up.

It had not even been a week when he stalked in, eyes like fire.

“What’s got your tail in a knot?” Sam asked from his books. Gabriel was earlier than usual, even though today Sam was supposed to get to see the library finally.

“The tiger is hungry.” Gabriel shook his head as if he was holding back the urge to shift. He had that feral look in his eyes, a look Sam had not seen since he had gotten hurt.

“And?” Sam played dumb even though every part of him was screaming to run. When people looked at him like that-- it sent him back to when he was a boy and it was his father staring down at him, hungry for the blood of the son who cost him his wife.

“He wants you.” Well, fuck.

“I don’t suppose running will do any good?” Sam quipped.

“He loves a chase.” Gabriel leaned forward before moving himself back. Sam could see that Gabriel and the tiger were in agreement on that. Whatever was racing through his veins, they were both enjoying it.

“What does he want? The rest of my leg?”

“He wants you.” Gabriel’s eyes gleamed and Sam realized that they wanted the same thing. Gabriel gave himself over to the beast when he didn’t know how to approach what he wanted other than being forceful. They were going to have to work on that if Sam was going to keep on living here. However, now was not the time, not with Sam's body pleading with him to flee and Gabriel's body begging him to chase.

“No.” Sam reached under his pillow, feeling for the hidden silver blade. He pulled it out, not bothering to keep it conceal. “You said my body is my own and it will stay that way.” Gabriel snarled, less human than he had been seconds ago. “You will not twist this curse into becoming what you hate.” Sam sounded braver than he felt. The tiger could kill him, could kill him easily. He already knew how the claw felt as they ripped through his skin. His legs throbbed in remembering, but he didn’t look away, didn’t look down. He just kept the edge of his blade pointed towards Gabriel who snarled again, glaring at the silver.

They both knew Sam would use it if he had to.

“You will regret this.” Gabriel threatened before he shifted, the tiger bounding through marble halls. He roared once, a challenge that shook Sam more than he cared to admit. Gabriel would keep his threat, no, his promise.

“Fuck it.” He slipped out of bed, wincing as he stumbled. He hurried over to his door and shut it, locking it immediately. It wouldn’t hold off Gabriel for long, especially once his temper took over, but it would give Sam time to get away. Sam had planned for emergencies like this. He opened the window farthest from his bed and grinned when he saw the ladder. Good job, Balthazar. He carefully made his way down, not wanting to fall and be injured any more than he already was.

“Be careful.” Castiel whispered, hovering nearby. “He’s turned back to your room. Get somewhere the tiger can’t climb.” And with that he vanished. He liked Sam. He would do what he could to buy him more time. He wouldn’t let Gabriel ruin this one.

Castiel ran interference while Sam ran for safety. Well, he ran the best he could, it was more of a sort of hobble. He made it to one of the outlying buildings and was thrilled to see it had a second story. Here was hoping there weren’t any stairs. He yanked open the large doors and headed inside as Gabriel dodged his brother finally and scrambled down the stairs, his claws scrabbling for purchase against the hard stone.

It was a run-down stable for at least a hundred horses. Sam was a little in awe of the architecture, openly staring, when Balthazar ran in.

“Quick, Sam, up you go.” Balth glanced over his shoulder. “He’s out of the castle. He’ll be on your scent in no time.” And with that the wolf also bolted, howling a challenge to the tiger outside. One that was swiftly met if the yelps and whimpers had anything to tell Sam who was listening intently. He was next. All his defenses were gone.

“Fuck.” Sam shook his head. There was a hay loft above. He found a broken-down, half-ladder and hoisted himself up, praying it wouldn’t break. A growl echoed below him and he forced himself up just as claws ripped through the air where he was. An angry snarl reverberated amidst the empty stalls and then silence.

Sam held his breath as the seconds ticked by. As the silence wore on, he let out a slow breath, easing back towards the hay piles and away from the edge.

“Sam.” Gabriel’s voice broke the silence and Sam grimaced. He felt in his pockets, looking for his silver blade, only to discover that it wasn’t there.

“Fuck.” He whispered. He only had his wits in this stand off, and while they weren’t that bad, they weren’t much against teeth and claws.

Golden waves peeked over the floorboards, followed by those fiery eyes that promised Sam would indeed regret this. A bag was thrown up, landing on the hay loft with a heavy clank. Chains? Sam swallowed hard as Gabriel pulled himself up next.

“You promised not to run.”

“I didn’t leave the grounds.” Sam’s jaw jutted out. Gabriel’s eyes traced the movement and he smiled.

“Technicality.” It was a cold smile.

“Technicalities win cases.” Sam stood his ground, balling his shaking hands into fists. Gabriel was not John. He would not be weak in front of this man.

“Not this one.” Gabriel shook his head. He picked up the bag, stepped forward, and swung it, striking Sam in the side of the head.

“-uck.” Sam gulped as he crashed on his side. His vision blurred and then started to go dark. The last thing he saw before he lost consciousness was Gabriel standing over him, calculating as he pulled out a single, thick, metal chain.


	12. Piercing Hope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay, it starts out in a gray area as Sam is chained and threatened with body piercings without consent. (also some touching without consent)
> 
> However, Sam does end up giving consent for what happens. Which is why I'm calling it a gray area. Bc they kind of have a weird thing at this point even though they're all in denial.

Sam came to about an hour later, his head protesting profusely. He groaned, his head lolling from one side of his bare chest to the other. He raised his pounding head to see an empty room, one he didn’t recognize. He looked around, trying to center himself, when he realized he was utterly naked and his wrists were chained above his head.

“Oh, good, you’re up.” Gabriel strolled in, dressed to the nines yet again. Sam was sensing a pattern with him, dressing up when he needed to feel in control. Wanting to fuck when he needed to feel in control.

“We are not fucking.” He glared at his captor who finally felt like a captor, giving Sam the edge he needed to hate the man before him. His hatred seemed to surprise Gabriel as he turned to retrieve something Sam couldn’t see. Gabriel had almost faltered.

“No, we’re not.” Gabriel agreed in a flat tone. “You’ve made sure of that.” He glared back at Sam. “And now you get to find out what kind of beast I am when I don’t get the release I crave.”

“Give it a fucking rest.” Sam rolled his eyes. Gabriel stepped close, his face nearer to Sam’s face than the man wanted. He leaned back, but his chains only let him go so far. “Let me go.”

“I will let you go.” Gabriel nodded, a glint in his golden eyes. “When I’m good and ready.” Sam noted the dark bags under Gabriel’s eyes. Something wasn’t right.

“What happened?”

“A rumor.” Gabriel dismissed his question with ease. “Don’t change the subject, Sam. I’ve come to exact pain and a small amount of blood.” He lifted up a needle. “Now, are you going to cooperate, or should I leave you here for a few days?”

“Do I have a choice?” Sam bit his lip as Gabriel came closer, eyeing the point of the needle that Gabriel seemed to love waving around. 

“Darling.” Gabriel’s voice dropped down to a purr. “You always have a choice. We can do this the fun way for you or the fun way for me.”

“And what’s that?”

“Ah,” Gabriel licked his lips, “you’ll find out. Pick a door, Sam. Either way, I’ll enjoy myself. I promised it wouldn’t be all bad, even when I hurt you.”

“You’re feeling out of control, aren’t you? Something’s happened to send you off.” Sam guessed. He didn’t even see Gabriel’s palm coming until his head snapped to the side and blood started to drip from his lips. “Ooh, I’m right.” Gabriel glowered up at him. “Okay, let’s do this the fun way for me.” Sam cracked a grin that showed nothing of how he felt inside. “Make me feel good, asshole.”

“So naughty.” Gabriel smirked. “You probably like it as rough as me. You don’t know what to do when it’s sweet, soft, and nice either.” Sam blanched, remembering that was what had been Ruby’s appeal. She had been sex and abuse, in that order, and he had loved the simplicity of it until she threated the person he loved more than anything, much more than himself. “See? I can read people too, Sam. I’ve heard trauma does that to people.” Gabriel bent his head down, his breath warm against Sam’s chest. 

“What are you doing?” Sam’s voice cracked, hinting at where his head was at.

“Relax, Sam.” Gabriel rolled his eyes, like chains were relaxing. Well, they probably were to him. “I won’t fuck you unless you ask me to. Pinky promise.”

“Can you reach?” Sam yelped as Gabriel latched on to his chest, biting down on a nipple hard. “Fucking hell, man!” Gabriel didn’t bother to answer, content to suck on Sam’s nipple until it was puffy and hard. Sam hated him for it, but he was good at what he was doing. It felt fucking good-- Sam’s nipples had always been sensitive. 

“You like that.” It wasn’t a question. Sam’s response was lost in a moan as Gabriel turned his attention and his mouth to his other nipple while deftly attaching a clamp to the other one. Sam couldn’t keep up where the needle had gone and the clamp had come from-- all he could focus on was the beautiful tension between pleasure and pain and how he was responding to it. There was no hiding his cock as it slowly rose as Gabriel took his time drawing gasps and moans from Sam’s mouth. And then when he took Sam’s cock in hand and stroked it twice… Sam lurched, rattling his chains. “You like that too.” Gabriel’s voice brought Sam back as he fastened the second clamp on Sam’s other nipple. It throbbed, piercing through him. He wanted-- Sam looked for Gabriel to gauge what might be coming next when Gabriel ducked out of sight, going to his knees with ease. “Sucking cock was the first thing I ever learned to do.” Sam focused on his voice, grounding himself before he lost himself entirely to what Gabriel was offering. “Ironically, I still quite like it.” That fact came slightly strangled. “Want me to suck you, Sam? I’ll get you, no strings attached. I’ll give you your fun and then have mine.” Sam’s mind flashed back to the needle. 

“What are you going to do?”

“How do you feel about piercings?” Sam’s cock twitched and he moaned just at the thought. He didn’t mind that idea. “Say please.” Gabriel’s tone darkened with amusement and arousal. “Being with me isn’t all bad.”

“Please.” Sam heard himself say. He wanted all of it, just not quite like this.

“But--” Gabriel drawled, reading his body.

“Unchain me first.”

“You won’t try to run?”

“I want this.” Sam ground out. 

“You don’t sound like you want it.” Gabriel’s face was next to his again and Sam leaned forward, instead of away.

“I’m annoyed that you actually know how to show a guy a good time.” He growled before ducking down pressing his lips against Gabriel’s. The slap was soft this time as Gabriel pulled away, pale as a ghost. 

“No kissing.” His mask was down and Sam could read the brokenness that was never far from the surface.

“Two kisses.” Sam put his price down. “One for each needle.”

“Make it three.” The glint was real, it wasn’t part of Gabriel’s mask. He reached up and sighed as if to just get the kisses over with. 

“Make them real.” Sam didn’t know why he was pushing so hard. He didn’t want to kiss Gabriel, right? This was just physical. He had to be egging him on because it was the first weakness he had shown. 

“Oh, sweetheart.” Gabriel said mockingly before he kissed Sam so deeply that Sam forgot that he wasn’t supposed to want to kiss Gabriel. He pushed further into the kiss, eliciting a giggle from the shorter man. “You don’t have to kiss me to get what you want.” Gabriel smiled, pecking him on the lips for his third and final kiss. “I’ll give you what you want.” 

That was all the warning Sam got before the needle went in. He stood his ground, his hands wrapped around his chains as he gritted his teeth. The pain was bearable, nothing really in the context of what he was used to as both a Winchester and a hunter. Jewelry was pushed in next and Sam sucked in a breath as Gabriel released the clamps. “Pretty.” Gabriel’s lips were on his nipples again, one at a time, and this time, Sam’s moan echoed out of the room. “Gorgeous.” Gabriel’s voice darkened, but Sam found that he couldn’t focus on it anymore. His chains were released, his arms falling to his sides.

“Gabriel, please.” He jerked his hips forward, hinting at what he needed. Gabriel pushed him back, into a waiting, overstuffed armchair. Sam fell back, gripping the arms of the chair as he spread his legs. He turned begging eyes on Gabriel who smirked as he took up his position.

“You’ve been so good.” Gabriel was back on his knees, his lips already wrapping around the tip of Sam’s cock to taste the pretty bead of pre-cum that had been gathering. “You even taste good, asshole.” Gabriel popped off to give Sam some of his own sass back. He teased Sam’s cock with his tongue, making sure to lick all over, even down by Sam’s balls. “Heavy.” he nuzzled against Sam’s veiny member. He took Sam back in his mouth, all the way down his throat where he bobbed and hummed. Sam didn’t remember when exactly he came. He just knew he didn’t last long, his head lolling back against the chair, blacking out in the process. 

Gabriel did know his way around pleasure, that much was clear, so why did he hide under so much pain?

Sam came back to consciousness in his own bed. He was still naked, his nipples throbbing as he pushed himself off the bed. He checked over his body carefully until he was satisfied that Gabriel had kept his promise. He hadn’t fucked Sam. He had barely left any marks minus the piercings and one, vivid, love mark sucked into the inside of Sam’s right thigh. He touched his cock carefully, admiring the piercing he found nestled at the tip. Three kisses. Three piercings. 

“You look better than to be expected.” Balthazar walked in, smirking as Sam pulled his blankets up to preserve his privacy. “We thought you were being tortured until we realized you two were getting it on.”

“Uh--”

“We all have heightened senses here, Sam. Not much privacy.” Balthazar’s gaze raked over Sam. “Sorry.”

“Where’s Gabriel?” Sam asked. “Don’t look at me like that.” He added. Balthazar shrugged and left as quickly as he came. Sam shivered, pulling the blankets up even higher. He wondered what had happened between him and Gabriel would affect the rest of the castle, how it would affect the curse. It was fun. It had been ecstasy in parts. Gabriel had started out rough, but then he had respected Sam’s wishes and waited for consent. That was important for Sam. Huh. Maybe they were both as broken as the other, for all their brokenness, they seemed to fit together well. 

Maybe Gabriel was lonely like Sam was. Yes, he had Dean and Bobby, but little else. He wasn’t the best at making friends, and was even worse at finding lovers. He found solace in books, cases, and haunted castles. Sam had a hard time fitting in out there in the real world and he had a feeling that so did Gabriel, even with all his charm and bluster.

“What are you thinking about?” Gabriel appeared as if Sam’s thoughts had conjured him. “I heard you were asking for me.”

“Us.” Sam stammered. “Not like that.”

“I told you I can make it good.” 

“We can’t keep starting off forcefully.” Sam said. “Yes, you do give it good.” He added before Gabriel could protest. “But you can ask and accept no as an answer when I give it.”

“What do I get from that?” Gabriel scoffed.

“I’ll say yes on occasion.” Sam promised. Gabriel’s eyes lit up and he stepped towards the bed. He gripped Sam by the back of the neck and pressed a soft kiss where the heartbeat in the artery quickened.

“We’re going to have so much fun.” He smiled. Perhaps the first, real smile Sam had ever seen on his face. It made him look younger, more his real age. “I have to hunt, but we can talk more when I come back. The wolves will watch over you.”

“Hurry back.” Sam said softly as he left. The tiger heard him, the tiger heard everything, but those words didn’t hurt. Those words felt warm. Gabriel would hold those words a little closer to his heart on the hunt, right there with the faint glimmer of hope that was breaking through where the doubt had cleared a path. Maybe they stood a chance after all. Maybe Sam could end the curse for good.


	13. Hot and Heavy

Something shifted after that day. Neither Sam nor Gabriel were quick to seek each other out, but their respective thoughts floated back to the other over the course of the passing days. Spring had turned to early summer, and Sam was outside more often than not, bringing the rose garden back to life under his watchful eye.

“You’ve resurrected them.” Sam looked up from where he was fertilizing some of the more feeble bushes. He would fertilize them all, but as always, he found himself rooting for the ones that others might think would die. He did always like a good underdog story. Maybe that was why he was softer with Gabriel where he would normally be tough. He saw something, a story, a wound, a cause, a chance. Gabriel had a chance and for that, Sam stayed and tended to the fragile thing sprouting up between them.

“They’re stronger than they look.” He smiled up at Gabriel in greeting. The last time they had been close had been after the piercings, the touching, the kissing, the-- Sam didn’t want to think about how heavenly Gabriel’s mouth had been against his body, around his cock. 

“What a greeting.” Gabriel smirked. Sam’s eyes were dark when he looked at him, his pupils far too wide for the sunlight. Sam’s cheeks darkened and the hunter looked away. Gabriel sat down next to Sam, perching near him on the balls of his feet. Sam relaxed into his presence and Gabriel eventually did too, sinking into contentment as time wore on, sitting on the ground next to Sam. The sun was lowering over the trees when Sam started to pack up. Gabriel blinked, realizing that he had basically basked in the sun (more like basked in Sam’s presence) for a few hours at least. “Are you doing anything tomorrow?”

“Are you trying to seduce me?” Sam asked lightly. He gathered up his tools and fertilizer, lugging them over to the shed. Gabriel got up, following like a shadow, never like a puppy.

“I want to take you on an adventure.” Sam’s eyebrows rose and he paused, considering it.

“Are you going to eat me?” It did something to Gabriel inside that Sam could tease him about his other side so easily. The fact that Sam was clearly not put off-- it was unimaginable and yet so-- Gabriel was so grateful.

“Nah.” Gabriel’s eyes crinkled at the edges. “You’ll like it.” 

“Then I’m free.”

“And what about tonight?”

“I could have dinner.” Sam’s tongue poked out the corner of his mouth as he concentrated on opening the door to the shed. Gabriel reached over, covering his arm with his arm for a moment as he tugged, forcing the door to give way. “Thanks.” Sam gave him an appreciative look which made no sense since it was just a dumb door. Gabriel was puzzled and intrigued by this man the more time he spent with him. No way his heart was big enough for a castle full of freaks, king of which was Gabriel himself. But yet, he was too kind to just be toying with them. Gabriel found himself in a dilemma-- he found himself having to decide whether or not he would trust Sam. And with each passing day that Sam stayed… he found himself wanting to. It terrified him and yet…

“In the library?” Gabriel asked cautiously. Sam hadn’t brought up the library since Gabriel had thrown their plans by being a dick. Fucking hell, but there was something about Sam that made Gabriel want to be less of a dick. 

“You mean it? It’s not a weird euphemism for sex?” Sam gave him a look that promised he did not want to be joking about the damn library. Gabriel had to smile.

“I mean it. I’ll ask the ghosts to send dinner up there tonight for the two of us.” Sam scrutinized him before he answered with a tentative smile.

“I’d like that.” Gabriel could feel his cheeks growing warmer in the light of Sam’s smile. He flashed a smile, stepping back.

“Me too.” And then he turned, shifting to save his pride from his blushing cheeks, before he ran back to the castle. Sam watched him go, his brow furrowing as his smile grew. He wasn’t sure what had just happened between them, but it made his chest feel warm. 

Sam finished putting his tools away and headed towards the castle too. Maybe he had time to take a shower before dinner. He casually sniffed himself, wrinkling his nose. Gabriel didn’t seem to have noticed, or even if he did, it didn’t seem to bother him any. Sam had to shake his head at himself as he entered the castle. It was eerily quiet most of the time, but he could hear the bustle in the kitchen. He smiled to himself, knowing Gabriel had made good on his promise. 

“What are you smiling about?”

“Oh, hey, Balth.” Sam nodded. “What’s up?”

“I heard about the dinner.”

“Yea.” Sam shrugged.”

“Be careful.” Balthazar warned. “You’re playing with fire.”

“Thanks.” Sam frowned, hugging an arm to himself. “I can handle myself though.”

“Then don’t come crying to me when he inevitably snaps.” Balthazar closed his hands, mimicking the tiger’s teeth. “He’s already drawn your blood once.” Sam smirked, recalling his last time with Gabriel as Balthazar slid by him.

“Twice.” He corrected Balthazar.

“What?” Balthazar jerked back to look at him, surprised and, Sam hated to admit it, concerned.

“He’s drawn my blood twice. But the second time, I asked for it.” Sam grinned as he leaned close. The wolf’s brow furrowed and he left in a hurry, his confusion clear.

“Just so we’re clear.” Sam turned to see Gabriel standing at the bottom of the stairs, wrapped in a robe. “That was incredibly hot.” Sam’s grin grew bigger. 

“I’m going to shower before dinner.” He walked towards the servant’s quarters where he kept all his toiletries and towels. He glanced back, catching those amber eyes. “Want to join me?”

“Yes.” Gabriel growled, hurrying after him. Castiel floated out of the kitchen, watching with wide eyes as Gabriel followed Sam into the showers.

\---

“Huh.” He breathed. “Maybe there’s something there that wasn’t there before.”

“What?”

“Michael!” Castiel was delighted. “We thought you faded away.”

“I’m still here.” Michael sighed. They never could get rid of their human mannerisms, not even in these bodies. “I just find this all very tiring.”

“He’s closer than he’s ever been.”

“Forgive me if I don’t get my hopes up.”

“I understand.” Castiel leaned into his brother, slipping through him. “But Sam is different. He’s trying to help us.”

“He knows of the curse?”

“Yes.” 

“Wow.” Michael’s ghostly eyes widened. “Maybe, brother, maybe we have a chance.” He faded from view and Castiel squeaked one happy sound. If Michael was appearing again, and Sam and Gabriel were showering together, well, maybe it would be a good night.

\---

“Sam.” Sam looked down from where he was washing his hair. 

“Yea, Gabriel?”

“What am I doing here?” It wasn’t that Gabriel wasn’t enjoying the show, he was enjoying it very much. Sam was all naked and wet, his tall body on full display. Gabriel was enjoying himself entirely. Sam was tanning in the summer sun and that made Gabriel want to lick, bite, and mark his skin all the more. His mouth watered but he couldn’t move towards Sam if he tried. He didn’t want to touch if he wasn’t allowed.

“I’m going to clean up and then I’m going to pin you against the shower wall and have my way with you.” Sam grinned. Gabriel swallowed hard, eyeing the hunter in anticipation.

“You mean it?” He asked, his voice huskier than normal.

“Absolutely.” Sam grabbed him and Gabriel jumped, finding it easy to trust Sam to catch him. Sure enough, his back was slammed into the tile and he groaned, oddly enjoying being the one manhandled for once. Sam rubbed against him, their cocks already erect from their conversation. The anticipation had been enough. Gabriel moaned loudly and Sam cursed, latching onto his neck. His teeth scraped along and Gabriel grabbed a fistful of Sam’s hair, pulling it. Sam made a noise that Gabriel had never heard before, a noise he wanted to hear a lot more of. Sam’s hands wandered, squeezing his wet ass, massaging him. A finger pressed against his hole and Gabriel nearly shot out of the hunter’s arms. 

“Not there.” He gasped. “Please.”

“Okay.” Sam pulled his hands back to the safety of Gabriel’s hips and Gabriel felt strangely like crying. He didn’t, kissing Sam to distract them both by just how raw he suddenly felt. He clung to Sam as they made out, crying out when Sam took both their cocks in hand. He came hard and fast, arms wrapped around Sam’s next as cum splattered on both of their slippery bodies. He had experienced a lot, but he had never experienced something like this. This had been almost intimate. He needed to stop breaking his own rule about no kissing, but something about Sam made him want to break it. Sam was breathing hard into Gabriel’s shoulder and Gabriel was still comfortable perched on Sam’s hips. 

After a minute, Sam shifted them so the spray could clean them both, Gabriel still on his hips, still pinned between him and the wall. 

“You’re incredible.” Sam whispered and Gabriel’s skin began to crawl. 

“I’ll meet you for dinner.” He whispered back, pressing a quick kiss to Sam’s cheek. “I have a surprise for you that I need to get into your room before you go back up.”

“Stay.” Sam rocked his hips once, his softening cock bumping against Gabriel’s. Gabriel lingered for a moment, letting Sam kiss him, letting the hunter’s tongue into his mouth. It was sweet and sensuous, the sliding of their tongues as they started to make out for the second time. He needed to go but he wanted to stay here, maybe forever, where monsters couldn’t get him. 

But then he remembered he was the monster in this shower. He broke the kiss, shivering despite the warmth of the water.

“We have all night.” He slid down Sam carefully, the hunter making sure not to drop him. He was so careful with Gabriel, even when it was hot and heavy. It frightened Gabriel. It scraped at his oozing wounds, begging them to let go of their poison.

“See you later.” Sam gave him a tender smile. “I’m really looking forward to tonight.” Gabriel managed a smile before he fled, not even bothering to shift. He fled through his castle, nude, hurrying up to his room. He really did have a surprise for Sam, so he made sure to drop it off before he locked himself inside of him room before the tears came.

He hadn't cried since he was young, but he couldn't choke them back this time. So... he let them out.


	14. Be My Guest

Sam didn’t know where to look when he stepped inside the famed library. The bookshelves stretched from the floor to the ceiling, covering every topic imaginable. He was in heaven… he was in fucking heaven. He ran his left hand through his hair and let out an incredibly content sigh. He couldn’t wait to get his hands on all of them. Who knew how much he could learn from this library alone?

“Are you that happy to see me or is it just the books?” Gabriel called from where he was waiting to escort Sam deeper inside the library to the cozy yet elaborate dinner he had planned was waiting for them. He was torn between not wanting to interrupt the moment and feeling jealous over Sam’s attention focused on the books. He cursed himself mentally-- how desperate could he get? Jealous on inanimate objects. But the way Sam looked at them. Gabriel’s heart clenched-- he wanted Sam to look at him like that. He wasn’t good with feelings at all, but he was definitely not good at feeling like this. He felt lost. He couldn’t be forceful, but Sam had made it clear, he could still be himself.

“B-books.” Sam stammered, his neck craned back to take it all in. He glanced over at Gabriel and stopped. He froze, taking in Gabriel and all that entailed. He was staring at the man instead of the books, and he knew how hard it was to drag him away from books. Dean knew how hard it was to pull him from his books.. Fuck. Gabriel looked all kinds of good.. “Both.” He amended his answer. Gabriel laughed. He knew he looked good, and yet, it felt good to see that reflected on Sam’s face. Sam looked good too. Hell, he looked hot.

“I see you found my present.” Sam was dressed in a designer tuxedo that fit him in all the right places. Gabriel wanted to take him out of it and then re-dress him so that they could start all over again.

“The way you’re staring makes me think it’s more a present for you.” Sam flirted, surprised to find how easily it came to him when Gabriel was around. It was easy to flirt with Gabriel looking the way he did right now. The shorter man was gorgeous in his golden tuxedo with black lapels. Sam loved how it hugged his body and he loved that he knew what that body looked like naked. How was he already so fucking ready to sleep with Gabriel again? They had jacked off together only an hour or so again.

“It can be a present for both of us.” Gabriel gave him a grin with half-lidded eyes. If they didn’t end up having sex tonight… Gabriel would have an appointment with his right hand then.

“Well, in any case, thank you for the present.” Sam turned and spun slowly on the heel of the expensive dress shoes that had come with the tux. Gabriel was gleeful at the realization that the show was for him. Damn. His heart quickened and he wanted yet again. “As much as I think we both would like to skip to dessert,” Sam started, “perhaps we should go to the dinner you promised me.”

“A-absolutely.” Gabriel offered his arm, a glimpse of the manners that had been drilled into him since birth. “Right this way, sir.”

“Classy.” Sam commented, taking his arm with ease. They both started at the spark when their arms touched, but neither of them commented on it. Gabriel escorted Sam further into the library, letting him stare at the stacks and stacks of books.

“I’m not an animal.” Gabriel snorted. “Most of the time.” Sam laughed and Gabriel puffed his chest out every so slightly. 

“Have you read all of these books?”

“Most of them.” Gabriel shrugged. “Father had expectations when it came to our schooling. While some books were tedious at best, others were an escape. After the curse, well, books became one of the few escapes I have.”

“What’s another escape of yours?” Sam asked, genuinely curious.

“Sex.” Gabriel deadpanned. He wasn’t joking though. Sex let him feel good when he felt awful more often than not. “Here we are.” He led Sam to his chair, pulling it out for him before pushing it in once the hunter was seated. “I hope you enjoy tonight.”

“What position do you want me in if all goes well?” Sam smirked as Gabriel took his seat across the table from him. Gabriel choked as he sat, eyes flaring in arousal and surprise. “I have desires too, Gabriel.” Sam took pity on the prince. “I want to have sex with you more than I ever have in my life.” 

“I’m glad your opinions of me and my bed have changed.” Gabriel said diplomatically. “I wouldn’t mind you on your hands and knees in front of the great fire place, bared for the moon and flames to see.” Sam swallowed hard, reaching for his drink before things got out of hand before they even started. He wouldn’t mind being in that position before the night ended. There was something about being with Gabriel that brushed all his inhibitions away. Fucking in the open for all the ghosts and wolves to see if they dared to look… 

Fuck. Sam shifted in his seat, willing his erection to leave. He was trying to do this more normally, dinner and shit.

Gabriel reached for his champagne, sipping it delicately, looking away politely. Sam leaned back, watching him with curiosity. It was moments like this where Sam could see the man he had been raised to be. His blue blood manners were very telling. Sam wasn’t cut from that cloth. He had never wanted to be, but compared to Gabriel, especially at the idea of being on Gabriel’s arm, made him feel inadequate. Gabriel noticed the shift on Sam’s face, from hunger to sadness. Had he done something wrong? “What is it?”

“Just thinking about how different our childhoods were.” Sam pressed his lips together in a poor excuse of a smile. He saw the tattoo peek out from Gabriel’s pressed sleeves as he placed his champagne flute back on the table. “I was raised by an ex-Marine to fetch his beer, dodge his belt and hunt monsters.” Sam’s eyes were far away. “Dean took most of the abuse until suddenly there was more than enough for the both of us.” He lifted his hair on the left side of his head, revealing a wicked scar across his temple. “Beer bottle. I didn’t get him another quickly enough. I didn’t duck quickly enough.” Sam blinked. “Fuck, I’m sorry. I don’t know why I’m telling you all of this.” He looked at the bubbly in his hand, deciding to finish it off in one go. “I’m normally not such morbid company.”

“Please, look who you’re talking to.” Gabriel raised his arms, snapping his fingers for a ghost to refill Sam’s empty flute. “You were raised to hunt monsters and yet, you’re sitting across from one.”

“You’re not--”

“Agree to disagree.” Gabriel wouldn’t normally interrupt, but as composed as he looked, he was far too raw inside to hear Sam call him something other than what he was. He was a fucking monster and he knew it. He just hoped Sam wouldn’t pay for the company he kept. He didn’t want Sam’s blood on his paws too. Maybe that's why he tried so hard. He liked this one. He liked Sam so much. 

Sam frowned, but he let the matter go. Gabriel knew he didn’t agree, and while that was endearing, he was grateful when the subject changed to safer topics. They talked long into the night, the moon high in the sky when they finished with dessert. Dinner had been delicious and satisfying. The conversation, stimulating. Sam found he didn’t want the night to end, a longing he read in Gabriel’s golden eyes. 

“Drinks by the fire?” Gabriel asked lightly, like his eyes weren’t promising Sam all his darkest desires.

“I’d be delighted.” What Sam had lost learning out with John, he had learned with Bobby. Bobby had made sure they knew how to behave in public, down to dumb shit like which fork. Bobby had been the reason Sam even made it to college. His school records had suffered when he and Dean lived with John. 

Gabriel was there to ease Sam’s chair back and to take his arm as they left the library. Sam leaned into him, bumping their shoulders together. Gabriel smiled, leaning back. There was a connection, pulling them closer and closer. Neither jumped yet, enjoying the tenson, enjoying the other’s company. He glanced back for one more look at the library and Gabriel whispered in his ear, his breath hot on Sam’s ear.

“You can come here anytime you want.” Sam shivered, licking his lips. Gabriel was so close. It would be so easy to cross the distance and kiss those lips that had tempted him all dinner long. “You don’t even want the books right now, do you? You want my cock.” Gabriel laughed lightly and Sam groaned. “Easy, Sam. Be patient for me and I’ll make it so fucking good for you.”

“Promise?” Sam turned hazel eyes on Gabriel, his desire so clear on his face. 

“Promise, baby. I’ll have you out of that tux before you even know it.” Gabriel’s eyes widened when he realized what he had called Sam, but Sam didn’t mind. 

“Okay.” Sam sucked in a steadying breath. “Drinks first.”

“That’s it,” Gabriel decided to push his luck, “baby.” Sam shivered again and Gabriel grinned, feeling like it was fucking Christmas. They were going to have a good night. He led Sam into the living room, enjoying the gasp Sam let out when he saw how the room was decorated. Gabriel was a very thorough planner. He hadn’t spared any expense. 

There was a golden drink cart with anything Sam might want, all expensive brands of course. There were two emerald, high-backed chairs waiting for them, velvet of course, though not as soft as the velvet inside of Sam’s body. Gabriel forced himself to focus, bringing Sam to his chair without jumping his bones. He didn’t dare look at what had Sam’s full attention, the sprawling arrangement of furs and silk sheets. A nest designed for many carnal activities, complete with oil and toys lying nearby. “Drink?” Gabriel asked and Sam tore his gaze from the furs to Gabriel, his eyes almost black. 

“Whiskey.” He said hoarsely and Gabriel grinned, bowing with a flourish. 

“My pleasure.”


	15. Something More

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sex lol

Gabriel sat in his chair like a king on his throne. Sam traced the proud lines of his face down to the softness around his jaw. Gabriel was wild and beautiful, broken parts, scars, and all.    
  
“Come here.” Gabriel motioned to his feet, spreading his legs wide. Sam complied, sitting at Gabriel’s feet, leaning his head back against that strong, inner thigh. Gabriel’s fingers slipped into his hair and he tilted his head back, giving Gabriel full access to his hair. Each stroke of fingers and Sam melted, relaxing back against Gabriel. Gabriel marveled at the trust shown, the bared throat, the closed eyes. Sam trusted him. He swallowed the odd lump in his throat.   
  
He wanted to be worthy of such trust.   
  
Gabriel leaned forward, Sam’s eyes opening slowly at the movement. He tracked Gabriel’s approach with the practiced eye of a hunter, unflinching as Gabriel broke all of his rules, and initiated the first kiss. He hadn’t been asked for this kiss. He wasn’t returning a kiss. He was seeking a kiss, a way to connect to the chemistry that constantly flowed between them. Sam’s hand came up, cupping his cheek as the hunter kissed him back. There was no rush. They knew where they were going and Sam had already relinquished the lead to Gabriel.    
  
Gabriel wondered if Sam gave it up so easily because he knew how important control was for Gabriel.    
  
He could taste the whiskey on Sam’s tongue and he wondered how Sam would taste with his release there also. He hummed low to himself, taking his time, pressing his tongue gently against Sam’s bottom lip, asking to be let in.    
  
Huh. Maybe he was asking to be let in in more than one way.   
  
Gabriel wrapped Sam’s long hair around his hand, pulling the hunter’s head back even more. Sam moaned into the kiss, sucking along Gabriel’s tongue in response. Gabriel’s other hand traveled past Sam’s exposed neck to work open the top button of Sam’s dress shirt. Sam made an eager noise at that and Gabriel’s fingers moved down to work on the next one. Sam released Gabriel’s face to shed his tuxedo jacket and then loosen his bowtie. It was tricky with his head bent backwards, but Sam always had the ability to achieve whatever he set his mind to. They kissed slowly, exploring, as Sam’s defined chest and then abdomen were exposed.    
  
Once all the buttons were undone, Sam shrugged the dress shirt off too, Gabriel’s free hand helping pushing it off. Gabriel broke the kiss to admire their teamwork. Sam’s face and chest were flushed, his chest heaving as he panted for breath. Huh. Gabriel had kissed him breathless. He smirked up at the prince, eyes half-lidded, silently asking for more. Gabriel released Sam’s hair. “Stand up, baby.” Baby. What an endearment to slip off the tongue so easily. It felt right. It felt so damn right and Sam answered to the endearment without question. Gabriel couldn’t ask for anything better than that. He had never felt like this with anyone ever. Was this what falling in love felt like? Or was this just really good sex?? It didn’t occur to him in the moment that maybe it could be both.   
  
Sam stood, half-naked, waiting for what Gabriel would ask next. Such control, no, such trust made Gabriel’s head spin. He reached forward, unbuckling Sam’s belt and then unbuttoning his pants. He pulled Sam’s pants down his knees, surprising them both with a giggle when he realized Sam had gone commando.    
  
“What? I knew where we were heading and I wanted to ease the way.”   
  
“Oh?” Gabriel raised an eyebrow. “I suppose you’re going to tell me next that you’ve already cleaned and stretched yourself.” Sam’s eyes flashed and he answered with a sheepish grin. “Sam!” Gabriel giggled again. “You didn’t.”   
  
“I had to do something when you left me all alone in the shower.” Sam mock-pouted like he wasn’t standing there with his pants around his knees, cock half-hard and waving around. Gabriel slid to his knees, shaking his head fondly. He untied Sam’s shoes, helping him out of them and then his socks next. Then he pulled Sam’s pants all the way off, tossing them behind the chair with the rest of Sam’s tux. They would need to wear tuxedos more often. It was decided that would be the best course of action in continuing to get them fired up and wanting more. “What are you smirking at?” Sam asked, glancing down. Gabriel rose with his dimples flashing. He quickly stripped off his own tuxedo, matching Sam in the nude.   
  
“I was thinking about how we should wear tuxedos more often if this is where we’re going to end up.”   
  
“I was going to think the same thing, but I got distracted by the little striptease you just did.” Sam wiggled his finger in Gabriel’s direction.

“You like?” Gabriel turned, shaking his ass ever so slightly.    
  
“I like it very much.” Sam made a grabbing motion with his hands, trying to pull them against each other, but Gabriel evaded him.    
  
“Ah, ah. I said hands and knees at dinner, didn’t I?” Sam grinned, kneeling gracefully. Gabriel watched him sink down with wide eyes. How’d he get so lucky? Sam crawled in the direction of the fireplace, stretching out on one particularly large fur. Gabriel stepped behind him, enjoying the view. He slapped Sam’s ass and Sam grunted in satisfaction, wriggling back. Gabriel knelt behind him, rubbing the area he had just slapped. “God, you’re gorgeous.” Gabriel said appreciatively. Sam looked back, noting the difference between Gabriel now from Gabriel the first night together. “May I?” Gabriel asked, making sure they were still on the same page.   
  
“Please.” Sam curled his toes as he replied eagerly. Gabriel checking if he still had his consent was all kinds of sexy, and then Gabriel parted his cheeks to lap at the opening there and Sam lost all coherent thoughts. He would have to add  _ that  _ to all the things that Gabriel could do with that mouth of his. He moaned loudly as Gabirel’s tongue pressed in slowly. “You don’t have to take your time.” He suggested between gasps as Gabriel teased his hole slowly and then quickly. He yelped when Gabriel bit his ass cheek.    
  
“You really did clean and stretch down there.” Gabriel said with a grin reminiscent of the cat who are the canary.    
  
“I’m glad you approve.” Sam wiggled his ass, trying to get Gabriel’s attention back on that particular part of his body.   
  
“Mmm, we’ll get there, my impatient hunter.” Sam wasn’t sure if Gabriel knew he was dropping all these endearments tonight. He did know that Gabriel cared for him. He cared for Gabriel in return, but what were they? How close was close enough for the curse. They were fucking, but there was something more, something neither of them were ready to put their finger on. However, they both had great ideas with what they could put their fingers on.   
  
Something large and lubed up nudged inside Sam’s hole, stretching him even wider. Sam’s curiosity over what it was won over his disappointment that it wasn’t Gabriel’s cock. He clenched around it carefully.    
  
“What is that?” Gabriel hummed in response, not wanting to ruin the surprise. He reached over for the remote, hitting a specific combination of buttons as the toy was fully nestled inside of Sam, right against his prostate where Gabriel wanted it.   
  
“God-- fuck it!” Sam went down to his elbows as the vibrations hit, leaving his ass in the air and on display. “Warn a guy.” He half-growled, reaching down to play with his cock. It felt so good. He felt like his whole ass was vibrating, leaving him a sweating, writhing mess. Moments ticked by and Sam’s self-control while valiant, was slipping. “Gabe, I’m not going to last much longer.” Sam groaned as Gabriel responded by pressing the toy in deeper against his prostate. “Gabe-- I--”   
  
“That’s right, Sam, keep screaming my name.” In any other context, with any other person, Gabriel would be smug, but here with Sam, he was awestruck. He wanted to see the other man come wholly undone. He wanted to give him pleasure beyond compare. So he took to his hands and knees, stooping low to the floor to give Sam head while he weakly thrust his hips forward. True to his words, Sam didn’t last long, half his climax making it inside Gabriel’s mouth, the other half on his face.    
  
“Sorry.” Sam forced himself to stay upright until Gabriel moved. He curled in on himself quickly, tension somehow mixed in with the loose-limbed afterglow. Gabriel moved quickly to get the toy out carefully before he powered it down. He cleaned his face with the handy wipes he had nearby before hurrying back to Sam.    
  
“You did nothing wrong.” Gabriel leaned against him, pressing a soft kiss to his forehead. Sam soaked up the affection and assurances, whining softly. Gabriel settled down next to him, running his hands through Sam’s hair, knowing it helped to ground him. “I wanted you to cum. I wanted to make you feel good. We have all night. Trust me. I will take you apart more ways than one.” Sam made a soft sound, nuzzling against Gabriel’s leg. He was fully relaxed now and Gabriel could see where he was exhausted but holding on for Gabriel’s sake. Gabriel didn’t want to sacrifice any comfort for him.   
  
“Never felt anything so good, Gabe.” He mumbled. “But I wanted to wait until you were inside of me.” Gabriel glanced down at his still erect member.   
  
“I can rectify that.” He patted Sam’s thigh, prompting him to roll over. He eased in carefully and Sam gasped, making a satisfied sound. “Better?”   
  
“Much.” Gabriel pulled some furs closer so Sam could snuggle into them as Gabriel slowly pressed all the way in. He rocked back and forth gently. Sam moaned, enjoying the sensations even if he wasn’t anywhere near being aroused again. He would if he could, but the last orgasm had taken a lot out of him. “You feel so good, Gabe.” Sam sank into the furs. It was soft sensory mixed in with the pleasure of being joined with Gabriel once again. Gabriel didn’t take long with Sam whispering his praises and moaning encouragingly. To know he was making it good was pleasure enough. He came several minutes later, filling Sam up.   
  
He cleaned them both up before he slid next to Sam, covering them both with silk sheets and furs.    
  
“I might have ordered a second dessert.” He whispered. Sam yawned, rolling over to snuggle into Gabriel’s chest. Gabriel froze for a moment, his brain unable to process that he was being sought out for comfort. He relaxed a moment later, his hand dropping to play with Sam’s hair as they lay there in a haze of pleasure. “It will be here soon.”   
  
“Wake me up when it’s here.” Sam was falling asleep on his chest like he was nothing but a teddy bear or a pillow. It touched Gabriel in places he didn’t know he still had. Sam trusted him. Sam thought he was  _ safe.  _ He couldn’t remember the last time anyone thought this well of him maybe ever.   
  
Unbidden, dark memories resurfaced of his attacker, whispering praises in his ear. He was young, but he had never been praised much and so, one of the worst things that could have happened to him was twisted into something sick and pleasurable. Gabriel closed his eyes. He didn’t want to be sick. He didn’t want to disturb Sam. He turned his head into Sam’s hair, taking in his unique scent. He was safe. Sam was here. The chemistry between them wouldn’t be tainted by what had happened to Gabriel all those years ago.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter is one of my all time favorites :D


	16. Talk of Monsters

Gabriel might have marveled that Sam was able to fall asleep cuddled up against him, but he was even more in awe when he too gave into a comfortable slumber. Sam was warm and Gabriel felt satisfied in a way he had never felt before. Even with the dark shadows that often wouldn’t let him sleep unless he sought out his other form… He felt safe with Sam.  
  
They both woke up a while later in the dark, the lights turned off, and the fire dying down in the large fireplace. Sam moved first, adding a couple logs to the fire. Gabriel watched, basking in this strange contentment. Sam was gorgeous, his muscles shifting in the glow of firelight. The moon shone somewhere overhead, but they were still in the shadows. Sam crawled back over to their bed of furs, yawning softly.  
  
“I guess dessert never came.” Sam commented quietly. His voice was rough with sleep and Gabriel mused that he could get used to waking up to Sam like this.  
  
“They probably didn’t want to disturb us.”  
  
“Mm, I’m glad they didn’t.” Sam wrapped around Gabriel, his arms strong and welcoming. Gabriel stiffened, but only for a second, relaxing back into Sam’s embrace. He felt so, so safe. He started to doze when Sam spoke up.  
  
“I’ve been thinking about what you said at dinner, Gabe.” A nickname to add more fuel to the flames flickering around Gabriel’s icy heart. “You’re not a monster.” Gabriel wasn’t sleepy anymore. He felt like wintry water had been dumped over his head. How could Sam not see what he was? The things he had done to Sam alone, nevermind the others he had hurt. The others he had manipulated. The others he had killed. How had he managed to fool Sam? No, the hunter was too smart for this-- he had to be toying with Gabriel somehow. Was this moment Sam pressed the silver blade between his ribs?  
  
“Sam, please.” It was as close as Gabriel had been to begging in a very, long time. “Don’t toy with me.” He was vulnerable with Sam, something that scared him to his core, and yet, he didn’t have it in him to block Sam out anymore. Beautiful, smart Sam who made him feel safe and special. Gabriel should have known it was too good to last. Kali had probably been teaching him yet another lesson letting him feel how cruel hope could sting.  
  
“Humor me.” Sam matched his pleading tone, as if Gabriel could resist him in any way now. Sam was important to him now. How had he missed that crucial development? He actually _cared_ for the man in bed with him.  
  
“Fine. Say your peace, hunter.” Sam didn’t miss how that title was no longer an endearment. He wanted to kiss away the tension running along Gabriel’s spine, but now was not the time. Maybe later when Gabriel could once again accept affection from Sam.  
  
“When is a monster not a monster?” Sam asked, clearly expecting an answer. Gabriel’s eyes flashed, not that Sam could see in their current spooning position, but Gabriel couldn’t resist the urge to snark back.  
  
“When it’s dead?” He curled up his lip, unable to meet Sam’s eyes in one, terrible moment of vulnerability. He put up a brave front, but he couldn’t stand the chance that could be the correct answer. Did Sam think he would be better off put down? He sucked in a breath, mortified when he let out a sniffle. He covered his face with his hands, embarrassed.  
  
He jumped at soft lips pressing a gentle kiss to the back of his neck. Gabriel had never been treated with such care in his life. “Sam.” His voice was ragged, but he didn’t care.  
  
“Will you let me hold you? Sit with you and whatever is so heavy?” Sam asked. Gabriel nodded, pulling his hands down and shifting so he was facing Sam. Sam pulled him close, their chests flush against each other, well, everything pressed against each other. Normally, such closeness gave Gabriel the control… but like this, Sam was the one leading him. “Do you want to talk about it or not yet?” Gabriel shook his head, scrunching his eyes shut as the tears threatened to spill out. Not in front of Sam. Never in front of Sam. “Okay.” Sam said, nuzzling Gabriel’s forehead with his nose. “You can cry, Gabe. I’ll never judge you for being human.”  
  
Gabriel let out a strangled laugh and then the dam broke, sobs tearing from his throat before he could catch them and stuff them back in. It took a minute, even with Sam rubbing his back, but Gabriel finally figured out he could cry into Sam’s chest and still somehow be safe.

Even after he quieted down several minutes later, Gabriel stayed where he was, not that Sam would ever want him to move. Gabriel might have marveled at Sam’s trust, but now Sam marveled even more at Gabriel’s, holding the smaller man close.

“I’ve been crying more lately. I can't seem to stop.” Gabriel revealed. “Even earlier after the shower.”

“Why?” The moon had risen enough to shine through the windows, long shadows stretching out, moonlight and firelight illuminating them as they talked. “Did I do something wrong?”

“On the contrary,” Gabriel wiped his face, “you keep doing things right. You listen to me. You don’t force an issue when I ask you to stop.” Understanding dawned on Sam’s face and Gabriel squirmed in his arms. “You think I’m not a monster when all I usually do is hurt people.” Gabriel reached down under the fur they shared and pressed his hand to the scars from his claws. “How can you say I’m not a monster when I keep drawing your blood?” His face was earnest and heart-breaking as he argued against his own humanity.

“Gabriel, sweet Gabriel.” Sam wanted nothing more than to gather Gabriel up in his arms and never let him go. He would keep Gabriel safe from his past if he could now that Gabriel seemed to understand what he had done was wrong. Gabriel had more than paid for his sins and the sins of his attacker, at least in Sam’s humble opinion and so he said so.

“We will all make mistakes in this life. It is a constant. All we can do is learn from them and try to do better with the rest of our lives.” Sam paused. “I’ve made mistakes, Gabriel, mistakes that almost cost me Dean and that almost cost Dean his life.” Sam didn’t like to talk about Ruby, but if it would help Gabriel, he would. Gabriel nodded his head solemnly, agreeing with Sam on that. If the curse was ever broken, he would live life to the fullest and not just for himself. He wouldn’t just hurt people for no reason, or even if he had a reason.

But that was a dangerous thought for a man who believed his assault had been his own fault. His attacker had made sure to sow some lies in with the praise, twisting and breaking the teen even more than he already had.

“Even monsters?” Gabriel’s hand traced from one of Sam’s nipples to the other. “I shouldn’t have done this. I’m sorry.”

“I said yes.” Sam reminded him, moving his body slightly. His nipples were sore.

“Under duress.”

“Under promise of pleasure.” Sam said with a smirk. “I didn’t like how it started but I liked where we ended. And I told you I didn’t like the forcefulness and you listened.” He reminded Gabriel. “I think we’ve both been enjoying things between us much more. And besides, something had happened to trigger you.”

"They found white fur in the forest, glimpses of another tiger.” Gabriel shivered. “ _He_ is searching for me.” Sam pulled Gabriel closer in his arms, understanding immediately. Gabriel was terrified somewhere under all his bravado. He was terrified even as he tiptoed through the beginning stages of healing.

“Well, if he comes for you, we will face him together.” Sam promised.

“Thanks.” Gabriel shuddered again, but the look in his eyes showed how much he appreciated Sam’s words. He slipped forward to rise, straddling Sam. He was beautiful and wild, half of his face silver and the other half golden. “We can’t break the curse yet if he’s coming, Sam. I can’t protect you if I don’t have the tiger.”

“Okay.” Sam’s hands found their way to Gabriel’s hips, squeezing gently. Whatever this was between them, it was growing fast, faster than either of them ever anticipated.

“Is this just a case to you?” Gabriel asked in his next breath, his voice pitching high. Sam liked him up where he was, pressing against Sam’s soft cock. He liked him on top where Sam could slip inside. He was stunning to Sam, perhaps in all the ways he couldn’t understand.

“No.” Sam said softly. “No, it’s definitely something more. We…” he paused before plunging forward, “we are definitely something more.”

“Good.” Gabriel relaxed almost instantly.

“Gabe?” Sam knew he needed to say it now, before it was too late, before he lost his nerve.

“Yea?”

“When is a monster not a monster?” Sam asked again patiently, feeling that maybe Gabriel was ready now for the answer. He sighed a little, but then he gave his response.

“When?” He bit his lip, chewing on it nervously.

“A monster is not a monster when you love it.” 


	17. The Light and the Dark

Gabriel was shaken to his very core. It was hard to miss how fucking genuine Sam was with those hazel eyes boring into his soul. He covered his mouth with his hand before taking a steadying breath.

“You love me?” He knew he shouldn’t ask. They were supposed to be trying to not break the curse so he could keep them both safe. But he had to know.

“Yea.” Sam said softly, his cheeks growing red. Gabriel realized that Sam was just as vulnerable as he was in this moment. 

“You want to move this somewhere more private?” He asked. Sam nodded and Gabriel rolled off of him and stood, his golden waves sticking up all over his head. He felt weak in his knees as he mulled over what Sam had said. Sam loved him? He was incredulous, speechless even. How?

“You’re thinking too hard.” Sam had stood up while Gabriel had been lost in thought, staring into the cracking fire. Lips pressed to Gabriel’s temple, stirring him from his mind. He turned, wrapping his arms around Sam’s neck as the hunter scooped him up. He pressed a frantic kiss to Sam’s mouth, trying to convey what he felt but didn’t have words for yet. 

It was a yes. It was an affirmation. A response. A reply. A reciprocation. 

They stayed like there for a minute, exchanging kisses as Sam eased Gabriel into a more relaxed state. He understood what Gabriel’s kiss had said and he understood Gabriel wasn’t ready to use those words. Hell, he was barely ready to use those words. He just thought Gabriel needed to know. “Your room or mine?” Sam asked after one more lingering kiss. Gabriel didn’t want to bring Sam back to his room. It only served as a reminder of what he had done to this loving, compassionate, gorgeous man that first night. He had wanted him and he had taken him with barely another thought. “I forgave you.” Sam seemed particularly in tune with him tonight and Gabriel accepted that for what it was. He hugged Sam tightly, resting his chin on Sam’s bare shoulder. “I forgive you.” Sam changed the tense of that word and Gabriel squeezed him a little tighter. He didn’t deserve this man.

“Your room.” He finally answered the question.

“Okay.” Sam headed towards the stairs, holding Gabriel still. It was hot, yes, but it was also soothing. Gabriel was finding out with Sam that he needed to be held sometimes. “I’ve got you.” Sam kissed his cheek as Gabriel nestled into him more. “You deserve kindness, Gabriel. You deserve love.” Gabriel let out a little sigh, knowing that to argue that point would be to lose. Sam had laid his heart on the line and Gabriel loved him for it. 

“Thank you.” He murmured. 

Sam carried him into his room and laid him down carefully on the bed. Gabriel blinked up at him, finding that he desired Sam all the more, even with things so tender and fresh between them. 

“What is it?” Sam smiled. “You’re staring.”

“You’re incredible.” Gabriel lifted up a shoulder in response. “I was just thinking how I wouldn’t mind you inside me.” Sam climbed into bed next to him, covering them both with the sheet and then the comforter. 

“Really?” Sam asked. “You’ve never shown that interest before.”

“Well, would you be interested?” Gabriel knew the answer to that, knew that Sam had at least thought of it when they were in the shower together.

“Yes.” Sam’s voice cracked. He couldn’t help imagining being buried in that gorgeous ass, Gabriel crying out his name as Sam made him feel so good.

“Easy, tiger.” Amusement was thick in Gabriel’s voice. “Perhaps in the morning.”

“It’s after midnight.” Sam joked. “Morning already.”

“We did already sleep.” Gabriel mused out loud. “I could run downstairs and get the oil.”

“I could do that too.” Sam suggested. “Let me take care of you for once.”

“You do take care of me.” Gabriel patted Sam’s shoulder. “It’s up to you. We can fuck or we can sleep.”

“It won’t be fucking. It hasn’t been fucking.”

“Making love?” Gabriel snorted and Sam let out a sharp laugh.

“Feels more like that than fucking.” He answered honestly. “You were right about me. I don’t usually do things all nice and gentle. My previous relationships were rough and sometimes violent. But with you…” Sam trailed off, “it all comes so easily.” Gabriel let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding as Sam finished his sentence. “I like myself better when I’m with you.” Gabriel started at that. 

“Hurry up and get that oil.” He grinned in the darkness. “If you’re going to keep talking like that.”

“Okay, okay.” Sam laughed, throwing back the covers. He hurried out of the room and Gabriel snuggled back into the bed, pulling the covers back up. He felt so very content. That was his last thought before he drifted off to sleep, lulled by the scent of Sam all around him. He was safe when Sam was around.

Meanwhile, Sam was downstairs, still in the nude, searching for the oil where they had left it by the fire. “Aha.” He finally found the vial under one of the furs, holding it up into the glowing light.

“Samuel Winchester.” Sam turned to see Kali sitting in one of the chairs, her face alight by the flames. “You two seem cozy.” Sam grimaced, putting the oil down so he could grab a fur and cover himself. “I’m not bothered by nudity.” She waved a ringed finger in his direction, light glinting off the metal and gems. “I’m here to warn you.” 

“What?” Sam blinked. “I thought you were here about the curse.”

“They are intertwined.” She replied coolly. “If you two don’t slow down, if you don’t go back to your family, something terrible will happen to you.”

“What?” Sam was starting to sound like a broken record to his own ears. “What’s going to happen? He’s not going to hurt me.”

“You love him.” Kali observed. “And it’s almost enough.”

“He doesn’t love himself.” Sam knew what she was hinting at. “He has to love himself.”

“It’s a new addition.”

“That’s cheating! You said I had to love him, all of him, to break the curse, and I do.”

“Gabriel doesn’t want the curse broken yet and it is to his prayers that I attend to.”

“And what if I prayed?”

“I would consider it more than this useless arguing.”

“I’m not going to leave him. I made a promise to break the curse and I will.” Sam was adamant. 

“Samuel, listen to me. Something terrible is coming.”

“The other tiger?”

“He is a harbinger, yes, but something terrible is coming for you.”

“Me? Why me?”

“You are not without enemies, Samuel Wincester, especially since you’ve thrown your lot and your heart in with Gabriel.”

“I’m not going to leave him. I don’t care what happens to me. He needs me.” 

“You will wish for death if you follow this course.” Kali warned. “And that still won’t be the end. You will suffer as someone should never suffer, but if you leave now, you will be safe. Then you can come back and try again.” Sam considered what she was saying even though he was confused as to why someone would want to hurt him for wanting to help Gabriel. His need to be here was no longer to help, it was because of love that he stayed. If he abandoned Gabriel, Gabriel would not give him another chance. 

“I’m not leaving him. I will face my fate if it means I will keep him in my life.” He heard himself say.

“Very well.” Kali stood.”Then promise me, you will hold on for his sake, even when it feels like all hope is gone.” She paused. “Actually, don’t promise me anything, promise yourself. Your survival will depend solely on you. I will help where I can, but there are many forces at work here. Send for Dean in the morning. You’ll want more allies here.”

“Everyone here is our ally.”

“Not everyone.” Kali revealed. “Be careful. Not everyone who pretends to care, does.”

“Does Gabriel?” Sam asked.

“Yes.” Kali smiled. “He loves you as much as you love him. May that give you some light in the dark days to come. Now call for Dean first thing in the morning.” She slowly faded from view until Sam was alone again. He grabbed the oil and headed back upstairs, contemplating everything she had told him. He should tell Gabriel that something big was coming, but he would leave out the bit about him suffering. Gabriel wouldn’t like that-- he’d insist that Sam should leave and Sam didn’t want to. 

He entered his room carefully, closing the door behind him. The room was almost black as he stepped towards the bed and climbed in. He could hear Gabriel’s slow and steady breaths, reassuring him that he was still here. Sam put the oil on his bedside table and curled up next to his lover. He loved this man and he loved him in return. But Sam wouldn’t say anything about that. Kali had told him in confidence. That was something Gabriel would get to say on his own and in his own timing. Sam smiled to himself, grateful for this evening and the person lying in bed next to him.

They would worry about the darkness tomorrow. Tonight, Sam would focus only on the light between them. Besides, Gabriel had promised to take him on an adventure tomorrow and Sam wasn’t ready to let go. He wouldn’t ever let go. Gabriel was his person. He knew that now despite their rough start. Gabriel needed him as much as Sam needed him. 

It wasn’t about filling the hole inside of him with good deeds or rough sex. There wasn’t a hole inside of Sam anymore. Instead there was love: love for his family, his friends, and most recently, Gabriel, who might have been the missing piece.

Sam slid an arm around Gabriel, wrapping alongside of him before he too fell into a peaceful sleep.

The next morning, he awoke to find Gabriel curled into his side. He studied Gabriel for a moment, taking in his beauty. But there was something else that caught his eye. It was the smallest he had ever seen Gabriel who normally commanded a room with ease. He was small and safe, tucked into Sam’s side where he belonged. Sam marveled and accepted the trust. He would always do his best to be deserving of it.


	18. The Traitor

“Hey, Balth.” Sam greeted his friend on the way to breakfast the next morning.

“Morning, Sam.” The wolf looked tired, but then so did the hunter and the tiger. “Sounded like you two had a good night.” Sam ignored the comment but Gabriel growled from where he was walking behind Sam.

“Can you tell Dean to get here as soon as possible?” Sam continued as the two cousins weren’t glaring at each other. 

“Sure.” Balthazar leaned over the table and grabbed a piece of toast. “I’ll be off.”

“Thank you!” Sam called out after him. “You can stop glaring, he’s gone.” He elbowed his lover as they took their seats at the table. 

“He’s slimy.” Gabriel muttered. “Why is Dean coming for a visit?”

“Oh, I saw Kali last night and she warned me that something big was coming. She told me to get Dean here-- that we’d need all our allies.” Sam filled Gabriel in on most of the conversation he had with Kali after Gabriel had fallen asleep.

“Well, shit.” Gabriel frowned. “Sam, you should head into town. You’d be safer there.”

“I told you all I’m not leaving until the curse is broken, and now I’m telling you that I’m never leaving you.” Sam reached over to take Gabriel’s hand that was resting on the table. “You’re important to me.”

“Sam, you can’t promise to never leave me.” Gabriel reminded him wisely. “We’re not immortal creatures. Someday you will leave me and neither of us will have a say in it.”

“You know what I mean.” Sam replied. “And I don’t want to think about that day just yet. I’d like to spend more of my life with you. Are we still going on an adventure today?” His dimple flashed as he reached for another bite of breakfast.

“Of course. I’m a man of my word.” Gabriel smiled back. “Once we’re done breakfast, we can go.”

“Where are we going?” Sam pressed for information.

“Into the woods.” Gabriel smiled secretively. “And that’s all you’re getting out of me. I want our destination to be a surprise.” 

“Okay, okay.” Sam laughed, feeling excited. It was going to be a good day.

\----

Balthazar trotted through the woods in his wolf form, taking in all of the smells through his sharp nose. Dean’s trail was easy enough to follow since the wolves and even Gabriel on the odd occasion had traveled to the house where the hunters lived. Balthazar didn’t usually like hunters all that much, but the WInchesters seemed more level-headed than the average goon. Also, they were strangely empathetic about the curse. Even though Balthazar didn’t believe Gabriel’s story, he could still tell how Sam had become more understanding when he heard the tragic tale. And now they were fucking… loudly.... 

Balthazar had never seen his cousin like this with anyone. There was the sex which annoyed Balthazar to no end because he’d rather be the one giving Sam a good time than Gabriel, but no, Sam had eyes only for his asshole of a cousin. But there were tender looks now, soft jokes, adventures, seeking each other out for company as opposed to just sex. Something was growing between them and Balth had to wonder if he had misjudged the situation. Could the curse truly be broken? And were they so close to breaking it? Had he made a mistake?

He shook his head. It didn’t matter. What was set into motion would be done. Gabriel deserved the coming judgment and for choosing the tiger’s side, so did Sam.

“Hey, Dean.” He shifted back next to the car Dean was under. 

“Balthazar!”

“Sam wants you to come to the castle as soon as you can.”

“Any reason why?’

“If there is, he didn’t tell me.” Balthazar shrugged. Now that he thought of it, why didn’t Sam tell him? Usually Sam was pretty open and honest. Had Sam come to suspect him with the rumors of the white tiger being whispered around the castle? “I’ve got another appointment. See you at the castle.” Dean grunted something in response as Balthazar shifted back. He raced down the path towards town, shifting and changing into clothes in the forest before he strolled into town.

Technically, they weren’t forbidden from going into town, but the wolves were encouraged to stick to the castle grounds and the surrounding forest. They were the protectors of the castle and all its occupants. And maybe having to protect Gabriel day in and day out was the reason Balthazar walked into the bar, looking to change his job title. 

“Balthazar, how are you, my dear cousin?” Balthazar blinked as his long lost cousin, Lucifer stood up from his barstool. “You’re looking well.” Lucifer was whole in body, strong and fit. He wasn’t a ghost. Balthazar’s mind started connecting the pieces of the story as Lucifer led him over to a private booth. “How are my brothers?”

“Sick of being ghosts.”

“Well, maybe we can help each other then.” Lucifer smiled. “And how is Gabriel?” His smile stretched into a grin and Balthazar cocked his head to the side. 

“I think he might be on the verge of breaking the curse.”

“What?” Lucifer laughed incredulously. “The curse can’t be broken, Balthazar, I told you that in that letter.”

“You sent that letter?” Balthazar frowned. A letter had come shortly after Sam had, inquiring if Balthazar wanted to be freed of his service and the curse. There had been hints of something else, something else like revenge if Balthazar so wanted it and he had. He had written back after Dean had visited, determined to judge his pompous cousin and the hunter who had rebuffed him.

“You sent one back and helped me find my pretty prey.” Lucifer’s teeth gleamed. “Now what should I expect when I come to the castle? What are the defenses?”

“The wolves listen to me, so they’ll stand down easily enough.” Balthazar replied, distracted. Gabriel’s story might not just be a story. Now that he was face to face with the man Gabriel had forbidden them to name, Balthazar thought Gabriel’s sad tale might be true. “It’s inside. The ghosts will fight and then there’s the hunters.”

“Hunters?” Lucifer leaned forward. 

“Hunters who know about what silver does to us. They’re armed.”

“For protection?”

“No, Sam, he’s the one breaking the curse. But he’ll fight for Gabriel, no doubt about it. He’s intelligent and fierce.”

“You got a little crush?” Lucifer asked mockingly.

“He has only eyes for Gabriel.” Interesting. Lucifer could relate and it made him hate the man, this Sam. He would have to find a fitting punishment for this human who dared to try to steal his brother's heart.

“Well, Gabriel won’t be his concern for much longer. Any sign of the enchantress?” Lucifer’s lip curled up as he thought about the goddess who had cursed him same as Gabriel, save for one exception. He didn't get a chance at redemption. He was doomed to be torn between his two forms forever. But he didn't mind. He was an efficient hunter in all his forms. But Gabriel had been hard to find. It had been years and years of searching, of planning, of dreaming of what he'd do to him first and what he'd do to him last. He would tear him into two in more ways than one and leave his carcass for the birds when he was through.

“No.” Balthazar shook his head. “Not that I’ve seen or heard.”

“Well, thank you, cousin.” Lucifer stood up from the booth, reaching his hand out to shake Balthazar’s hand. Balth rose and took his hand. “You’ve been a great help.”

“Thank you.” Balthazar responded, turning to go. He froze in place, faltering before he started to sway on his feet. He opened his mouth to speak, but only a gurgling sound came out before he fell to the floor, amidst the peanut shells and spilled booze. Blood spilled out from a stab wound to his back, a wound that matched the silver blade in Lucifer’s hand. He carefully placed it down, making sure not to touch the actual silver part. 

“You’re welcome. You’re free now, cousin, just like you asked to be.” He smirked. He glanced around the bar, smiling as his wolves all turned from their various seats, scattered around to look like patrons. “We hunt tonight!” Lucifer punched his fist in the air, catching the eye of a group of hunters seated near the door. One of which had been listening in on his conversation.

“Excuse me, I’m Gordon Walker.” One of the hunters walked over.

“So?” Lucifer rolled his eyes. 

“I heard your ‘friend’ there speak of a hunter named Sam. I just so happen to be looking for a hunter named Sam.” Gordon smiled wickedly. “I’ll help you catch your prey as long as you help me.”

“Take Sam out of the way and you can keep him.” Lucifer bargained. “And shoot whatever hunters happen to be there too.” He recognized the gleam in Gordon’s eyes. He felt it in his own bones whenever he thought of what he would do once he caught up to his wayward brother, Gabriel. “Gordon… make Sam suffer for whatever he’s done, will you?”

“I was planning on it.” Gordon's face hardened and Lucifer could only imagine the delicious things he was cooking up in that brain of his. Sam would suffer. He had ensured it. Luck was on his side today. First, Balthazar gave him the intel he needed and now, he had hunters to help even the playing field. And then there was Gordon who desired to make this Sam scream. Tonight, the hunt would begin, and it would be a great hunt, and an even better night.

“Good.”


	19. Happiness is Fleeting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Half the chapter is happy and cute and the other half is suspenseful and full of angst. 
> 
> \-----
> 
> We are now heading into the TW tags territory, especially after this chapter.
> 
> TW: non-graphic allusion to molestation, sexual abuse, underage rape. 
> 
> Also: minor-character death and gun violence. 
> 
> And Gabriel's triggers get triggered.

Sam followed Gabriel into the woods without much of a thought. He caught himself after about fifteen minutes, realizing that he had followed him into a remote location without thinking to bring his silver or anything else. He could be walking into a trap and he had gone happily. Huh. He really was gone over Gabriel to let his guard down this much.

Sam slowed down for a moment, watching as the tiger darted ahead, dashing through the underbrush. The ground had been inclined for a while now-- they had to be climbing higher. Gabriel had shifted early on their hike which made sense. He had been spending more and more time in his own skin. From what Sam had gathered, he needed to spend time in both forms to be balanced.   
  
The tiger glanced back and chuffed affectionately at Sam. He stopped, waiting, swishing his striped tail back and forth until Sam walked over. He butted Sam’s leg, rubbing against him before he took the lead again. It still took Sam a minute to wrap his head around the fact that the giant cat was Gabriel. The displays of affection helped, but it did fuck with his head a bit. There were definitely lines to watch when it came to shifters. Gabriel was a human-- he loved a human. But that didn’t mean he didn’t care for the tiger too. Gabriel was loved in all his forms.   
  
“Are we there yet?” Sam deadpanned, laughing when Gabriel’s ears flattened against his head in annoyance. Gabriel jumped a few feet ahead of him, disappearing into the trees. Sam sighed, shaking his head with an amused smile. He could get under Gabriel’s skin still, even when it was orange with black markings. He trudged in the direction Gabriel had gone and as he broke through the treeline, stopped and stared in awe. Just a few feet from his booted feet was a small lake, complete with a waterfall that roared over nearby rocks.

The tiger turned and gave him a huff before gesturing towards the water. “It’s beautiful. “ Sam breathed. “Gorgeous.” Gabriel flicked his tail before he began to sink down towards the ground. “Um.” Sam recognized a pouncing position when he saw one, but instead of launching himself at Sam like Sam had assumed, Gabriel flung himself off the rocks, shifting halfway, and into the water below. “Show off.” Sam called out as Gabriel resurfaced below, shaking his hair out of his face.   
  
“Your turn.” Gabriel hollered back with a shit-eating grin on his face.    
  
“Shit.” Sam breathed with a grin. He stripped with ease, even stepping out of his boxers for good measure. He’d go commando if Gabriel was. He peered down to see Gabriel floating around on his back, a smug smile on his face. He was definitely going commando. God, he was fucking cute.    
  
Mind decided, Sam backed up to the farthest part of the rock before sprinting to the edge. With a ‘look out below,’ he flung himself off the cliff, landing feet first in the water below. He plunged in deep, opening his eyes when he slowed down. The water was surprisingly clear, he could see Gabriel kicking near the surface and the rocks near the base of the waterfall. Yet in the chilly water, he marveled at what he found within. He felt at peace. He felt happy. Everything felt right being with Gabriel, something he had never found with his past partners, not that there had been many. It all just clicked, even with the rough beginnings they had. They got each other in a way that no one else had been able to.    
  
Lungs burning, Sam paddled up and out of the underwater world to the surface.   
  
“I was about to go get you.” Gabriel was treading water nearby, looking adorably worried.   
  
“I was enjoying the view.” Sam winked and Gabriel grinned, cheeks more pink than they had been.    
  
“Well, if you like that view, then I think you’ll enjoy the ride of your life I’m about to give you.” Gabriel waggled his eyebrows as he wrapped his arms around Sam’s neck. The look he was giving was very inviting before he kissed Sam deeply.   
  
“What?” Sam laughed. “Out here.”   
  
“What can I say? I like us being naked and free where anyone could see.” Gabriel gave him a lascivious look. “First one to the flat rock over gets to open me up. I stashed some oil out here just in case.” Sam tossed Gabriel into the water before plunging forward, surging through the lakewater. “Cheater.” Gabriel giggled, splashing after him. After all these years, he was willingly wanting to bottom for someone. His rapist didn’t get to control him any longer.   
  
As the lovers raced towards the rock, they both had the same thought on their mind. This was shaping up to be a magnificent day indeed.   
  
And when Gabriel was grinding against Sam’s fingers that were patiently but thoroughly opening up, things continued to look up.    
  
And when Gabriel rode Sam’s cock by the lake, their sounds of mutual pleasure echoing out over the water and into the forest, everything was indeed well.    
  
And when they came, splashing their releases on each other, making each other more their own, there was happiness and contentment.   
  
And when they splashed back into the water to clean up and then to swim together, exploring, all was good in the world. The curse would break. That felt so certain in every moment their hearts beat in time to the other’s. Sam was getting tired as they headed back towards the rocks, having swam for hours. Gabriel shifted, allowing Sam to loop his hands around his neck, something no one had ever done before. The tiger towed Sam to shore and then nudged him up, making sure he made it out of the water okay.    
  
Sam shivered in the shadows and the tiger licked the water off his shoulder, his warm tongue willing warmth into Sam’s body.   
  
“My clothes and boots are up there.” Sam pointed to the cliff ruefully. The tiger headbutted his shoulder and darted off, clambering up the heights with dizzying speed. Boots fell a few minutes later, followed by clothes that floated down. Sam jumped up to catch them before an errant breeze could send them into the lake. “Thanks, Gabe.” Sam was worn out in the best way as he dressed, thankful for the proud Winchester tradition of wearing flannel even in the summer heat. The shadows were high and the day was coming to the end. “Ready to head back?” Sam wasn’t looking forward to the small hike back, but he’d manage. He’d done worse on hunts with Dean.   
  
Gabriel shifted back, naked and proud, as he scrutinized Sam.   
  
“I wore you out.” He announced with relish.    
  
“Between the sex and the swimming, ha, yeah, you did.” Sam laughed. “Not all of us have superhuman strength.”   
  
“Pity.” Gabriel smirked, wrapping his arms around Sam’s stomach, burying his head in his chest for a moment. “Imagine the marathon sex we could have if you did.” He looked up and grinned, proud of himself. They shared a tender look, a dirty grin, before Sam leaned down and kissed him.    
  
“Take me home, Gabe.” The word ‘home’ reverberated between them and Gabriel lit up like the sunrise after the darkest night. He backed up.   
  
“This is a one time offer.” He warned before he turned back into the tiger. The tiger stared at Sam with solemn eyes before turning around, offering his back. The tiger glanced back over his shoulder, the invitation plain.    
  
“You sure?” Sam asked even as he dared to reach out and run his hand over the soft, striped fur. The tiger ducked his head, making a soft, affirmative sound, and Sam carefully climbed onto the tiger’s back. He gripped the tiger’s sides with his knees as Gabriel took off running. The tiger took care of his precious cargo, making his way through the forest with grace and ease. Sam leaned into the tiger’s neck, holding on tight, grateful for the ride back. Gabriel truly had exhausted him in the best sense. “Thank you.” Sam whispered his gratitude, the tiger’s ears flickering back in acknowledgement.    
  
He carried Sam all the way up to his room before he went off to hunt. Not before he shifted back to steal one more kiss though. “Come back to me soon.” Sam smiled sleepily and Gabriel realized that he hadn’t been able to stop smiling all day long.    
  
“I will.” He promised before taking back his other form. He wasn’t in this form as much anymore, the tiger was no longer a safe place to hide. Sam was.   
  
It was night by the time the tiger returned, muzzle bloody and stained. Gabriel changed back while he was outside, planning to slip into the servant quarter’s showers before he went up to have dinner with Sam.   
  
“Gabriel!” Sam bolted out of the castle, grabbing him in a fierce hug that nearly knocked the wind out of the shifter. “I’m so glad you’re safe!” Gabriel noticed that Dean was there, his handsome face furrowed into a frown, his stance speaking that he was ready for a fight.   
  
“What’s wrong?” Gabriel scented the air-- blood and silver mixing together. “What’s happened?” He stepped back as Sam let him go. Sam took his hand and brought him inside the castle.   
  
“It’s Balthazar.” The castle stank of fear. Castiel was there, hovering, the palest he had been since Sam arrived and gave them all hope.   
  
“Brother.” Castiel was trying to warn him, but Gabriel didn’t want the gentle treatment.    
  
“What happened?!”   
  
“Balth is dead.” Sam was the first to speak up. “He’s dead.”   
  
“We found his body at the gates.” Dean spoke up. “I almost hit him with the truck. I just saw him this morning and he was fine.” Sam nodded. They all had. Kali’s warning seemed all too real now in the darkness with one dead body on their hands. Who the hell had managed to get the upper hand on the best wolf they had?   
  
“And there’s more.” Castiel brought up what the other two weren’t so sure about. The three of them led Gabriel into the dining room where Balthazar’s corpse was laid out on the table. He was shirtless, words carved into his chest. “There’s a message.”   
  
“Who’s Lucifer?” Gabriel’s world fell away at that question from Sam. How could he explain Lucifer to Sam, sweet, patient Sam? Sam had never given him a reason to doubt him, but Gabriel couldn’t stomach his past with Lucifer… how could Sam? And in that lay the truth of the curse-- it could never be broken until Gabriel finally shared the real reason why he hated himself so much.   
  
Lucifer was his brother. He had hurt Gabriel in ways he hadn’t know he could be wounded. He had broken Gabriel and for a time, remade him in his own image. Lucifer had made Gabriel believe he was his lover when in actuality he had been his rapist. He had convinced Gabriel he enjoyed the abuse. Gabriel’s head spun and he reached out, Sam grabbing his arm before he could fall. He peered over to read the words, recognizing Lucifer’s hand even when it was written on flesh.    
  
“See you soon -- Lucifer.” Gabriel bent over and vomited.   
  
“Lucifer’s the one.” He faintly heard Castiel inform Sam and Dean as he was too distraught to do so. “He’s the one who attacked Gabriel.” Castiel only knew about the one time. He didn’t know about the months of nightmarish abuse and manipulation and rape that happened over and over again. Gabriel vomited again, wincing as his stomach expelled the tiger’s meal, spreading blood and chunks of meat on the marble floors. He puked until he could puke no more and then Sam scooped him up and carried him to the showers, gently cleaning him up. Sam tucked him into bed with him that night, neither of them feeling hungry enough to eat. Sam wrapped around Gabriel as if the weight of his body could keep away the living nightmare that was now hunting Gabriel outside of his dreams. But somehow, Gabriel felt safer under Sam’s weight, curled up in his arms.    
  
“I will stand with you.” Sam promised. “We will face him together.” A soft kiss on his cheek before Gabriel felt Sam’s head nestle against the back of his neck. He fell asleep soon after, more out of exhaustion and shock than anything else. His body knew what to do to protect him and his mind, so he slept like the dead, Sam keeping watch over him before he too fell asleep.   
  
In the morning, Gabriel woke up to Sam’s lips wrapped around his cock. He groaned appreciatively, focusing on the sensations and not the nagging feeling he was forgetting something important.   
  
“Babe.” Sam pulled off, licking his lips.   
  
“Is this okay?” He asked.   
  
“Yea.” Gabriel nodded, still sleepy. “What’s the occasion?”   
  
“Just want to make you feel good, Gabe.” And so Sam did, using his mouth to bring Gabriel to completion. Gabriel thought he saw a shadow outside the door a second before he came down Sam’s throat, but then there was nothing there as he saw stars in the best sense.    
  
“Thanks, love.” Gabriel said gruffly as the memories came flooding back. Balth was dead. Lucifer was coming. He wasn’t alone. Sam and Dean, the ghosts and the wolves, they would protect him.   
  
“You’re welcome.” Sam leaned in for a kiss that Gabriel returned. “Bobby’s here. He arrived with some guns and more silver.”   
  
“Good.” Gabriel swallowed hard. “Sam, I’m scared.”   
  
“That’s okay.” Sam took his hand and squeezed it reassuringly. “We’ll face him together. All of us. You’re not alone this time.”   
  
“Sam!” Dean’s yell echoed through the castle. Hunter and shifter leapt out of bed, pulling on clothes and grabbing weapons. “We’ve got a problem.”    
  
The castle door had been forced open and it was not Lucifer who stood there, but Gordon and his men.    
  
“Winchesters.” Gordon smiled. “What a nice surprise.” Before Dean could move from the stairs, Gordon had pulled out a gun and fired it, sending Dean facedown the rest of the stairs. Blood pooled under the elder Winchester.   
  
“DEAN!” Sam screamed, already holding his gun out and returning fire. Gordon ducked back out of the castle and Sam ran down the stairs after him, even while Gabriel tried to hold him back. “Check on Dean. I’m going to kill that son of a bitch.”   
  
Sam never came back in, never fired off another shot. Gabriel saw him get knocked out and dragged into a car. He saw Gordon touch his man in a way Sam didn’t deserve, but his feet couldn’t seem to move him forward because the attacking hunters played their winning hand. Lucifer and his wolves stepped towards the castle with deadly intent and Gabriel didn’t know how to face that man without his Sam by his side.   
  
“Castiel, help.” He begged. They got Dean up, found Bobby, and hid them in the only place they would be safe. Gabriel was alone yet again. He was alone, facing the monster who had changed him all those years ago. He was alone just like he had been all those years ago.   
  
“I am still here.” Castiel must have read the despair on his face. “So are Michael and Uriel. This monster came from our blood and our blood will end him.”   
  


  
  



	20. Facing Monsters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TW: Sam is tied up and molested in the first half of the of the chapter. Gabriel faces his abuser in the second half.

Sam woke up groggy, his head pounding, and his arms numb. He glanced around to see nothing but four walls around him, a post at his back that he was tied to. His legs were under him, ankles tied to the post, propping him up on his knees. Sam groaned, tilting his head back. The air was chilly against his bared skin— wait— he glanced down to find his shirt open and his pants, his cock hanging out against the denim fabric. The zipper was pinching near the base of his cock, making any movement vastly more uncomfortable.

Sam wriggled against the post, trying to free his hands so he could recover his modesty but the ropes were tied too securely.

“Well, look who’s awake.” Sam looked to find the smug voice as a door was yanked open.

“Gordon!” He growled. “Let me go.”

“Sorry, Sammy, no can do. You see, I’ve got you right where I want you. Already got my hands on ya too.” Sam paled, trying to scoot back but there was nowhere to go. “You’re disgusting.” Gordon continued. “I saw you with that shifter. You’re a traitor to your own kind and me and my boys, well, we’re going to purify you. We’re going to make you see that you belong with hunters.”

“You’re not off to a great start.” Sam snarked back.

“No?” Gordon stepped in, shutting the door behind him. “Allow me to make you more comfortable, traitor.” He kept Sam’s eyes on him as he pulled out a bottle of lube from his back pocket. He drizzled some on his open palm before closing the bottle and returning it to his pocket. “I think you’ll like being with your own kind better.” He knelt next to Sam and reached over. Sam thrashed against his restraints as the other hunter took his cock in hand, stroking him until he was half-hard. “See?” Gordon drawled. “That isn’t so bad.” 

He released Sam’s cock and then wiped his hand on Sam’s jeans. “Your ass is going to be mine, one way or another. I tried to do it the nice way, but you’re just too fucked up. You’re an abomination.”

“An abomination you have a hard on for.” Sam fired back, trying to hide how shaken he was. He had just been molested for fuck’s sake! It dawned on him that this was what Kali had been talking about. This was what her warning was for. He had to endure this humiliation to get through the curse. The look in Gordon’s eyes as he slapped Sam across the face promised that things were only going to get worse after this. 

“I’ll see you in a bit. Freak.” Gordon stood up and then left, locking the door behind him. Sam wanted to scream, but he wouldn’t give the man the pleasure. He would get through this, get free, and find his way back to Gabriel and Dean. Dean. Grief tore through Sam again. Dean was okay, he had to be. Gabriel would get the doctor and Dean wouldn’t die. Unbidden, tears crept down Sam’s scruffy cheeks. It would be a long, hard road to walk alone, especially if Gordon made good on his threats.

Sure, Sam could think about it objectively now, but he wouldn’t be able to for much longer. Gordon’s power play was already starting to fuck with his head. He knew the body responded to being stimulated, but it was fucking Gordon. Sam hated him, especially after what he had done to Dean. To have his own body start to betray him— Sam gritted his teeth. He’d just have to get through this and deal with the fallout later. Kali had warned him. He couldn’t give in. 

“Fuck off, Gordon.” He growled towards the door. He could do this. He had to.

\----

Back at the castle, Gabriel was running like his life depended on it. He had to wonder if this was what Sam had felt when he had run from Gabriel that morning. He shook his head. He couldn’t afford to think of Sam right now or else he wouldn’t survive to go find Sam and bring him back.

Gordon had taken his Sam, laid hands on his Sam, bared his Sam’s skin to the world before bundling his unconscious body into a waiting car. Gabriel’s heart ached. It was his fault Sam was even mixed in with all of this. Fuck. Gabriel skidded to a stop before he ran into a marble wall. He needed to stop worrying about Sam. He also had Dean to be concerned about. He had hidden Dean and Bobby in Kali’s shrine-- Lucifer couldn’t break into there-- but Dean had been shot by Gordon, trying to protect his brother... and Gabriel…

Gabriel owed those Winchester brothers a bigger debt than he cared to admit. 

“That’s what family does, son.” Bobby had hugged him before Gabriel left the shrine to distract Lucifer. There was only one thing left to do and Gabriel was running because he wasn’t ready to do it.

Family. His heart ached again. Somehow he had become a part of the Winchester family and they loved fiercely in a way that was both foreign and freeing. Gabriel longed to be one of them, to be worthy of their ranks, and yet they opened their arms without hesitation because he was important to Sam. 

Sam.

He could kill Lucifer if it meant saving Sam. Gabriel scurried towards Sam’s room where they had spent that last sweet morning together before all hell had broken loose. Balthazar’s death, the inscribed message in his body, that damn wolf’s betrayal-- those had only been the beginning of what was shaping up to be a very long day. The tiger scratched at Gabriel’s mind, begging to be let loose, but Gabriel resisted. He wouldn’t release the tiger until he absolutely had to. The tiger needed to be at full strength to face him, to face Lucifer.

“Gabriel.” There was that pleased tone that Gabriel had debased himself for to hear. He shivered, glancing around. “Come here.” 

There he was. As commanding now as he had been back then, staring up at Gabriel expectantly. Gabriel would normally capitulate-- he always did when it came to Lucifer-- he’d fight and then when Lucifer beat him, he’d give in. A brat through and through. And now Gabriel was frozen in place, staring at the icy blue eyes of his brother-- his rapist-- his

Lucifer wasn’t his lover. Sam was his lover. Sam had shown him what a relationship was supposed to be like and it was nothing like the lies Lucifer had whispered into his ear as he twisted Gabriel into something like him with fear and shame. 

“No.” Gabriel walked away and into Sam’s room. He slammed the door, locking it for good measure, just to piss Lucifer off. It wouldn’t keep him out just like it couldn’t keep Gabriel out. The tiger in both of them was too strong. But for once, Gabriel and Lucifer were evenly matched. Gabriel wasn’t a child anymore. He wasn’t unloved anymore. Sam, while being his greatest weakness, had made him stronger than he had thought possible.

Maybe change really was possible.

Gabriel didn’t have time to marvel on his changed perspective. Lucifer was coming up the stairs, his voice coming closer, and Gabriel needed to find Sam’s silver. He searched everywhere but it was nowhere to be found. “Think.” He begged himself. Sam had grabbed the silver this morning— was it still on him?

No.

No, Sam dropped it when Dean had been shot. It was somewhere outside the bedroom door where Lucifer currently was. “Shit.” Gabriel headed to the window and peered out, weirdly grateful that Sam was such a planner. Sure, that ladder was for Sam’s escape but it was saving Gabe’s ass right now.

He was halfway down when the ladder was wrenched down and tossed away from the castle. The world spun around him as he plummeted to the ground. “Fuck!” He hollered.

“That’s the idea, yea?” Lucifer grinned, walking over towards him, cool and unruffled. “I’ve missed you, Gabriel. I’ve missed our times together. I’ve missed that ass.” Gabriel made a face up at him as he rolled back to his feet.

“I didn’t miss you!”

“You sure about that?” Lucifer asked softly, stepping closer. “Remember those sounds you used to make when I touched you just where you liked it?”

“W-what you did to me was wrong.” Gabriel had to get the words out even if his voice was trembling. “You were supposed to be my brother, not my abuser.”

“Is that what the hunter told you?” Lucifer’s eyes darkened. “You didn’t seem to think it was abuse when you were cumming your brains out on the end of my cock.” He snarled. His words cut deep. Gabriel flinched but held his ground.

“It’s what I told Sam, you asshole! You did abuse me!” Gabriel stomped his foot, feeling very much like the child that no one believed yet again. Lucifer was not getting his claws back into him. “And Sam is 100 times more the man that you’ll ever be.”

“And that’s why I had Gordon take care of him. By the time they’re done with him, he’s not going to want anyone ever again.” Lucifer’s eyes gleamed. “And as for you, well, your ass is still mine.”

Gabriel growled as Lucifer grabbed him, shoving him back to the ground. He wanted to panic at the weight of his brother on top of him yet again, but he managed to keep his cool. He had to save Sam before it was too late and the only way to do that was through defeating Lucifer once and for all. It was time to face the monster one last time. Kali’s curse would be a blessing this time.

Gabriel shifted, using his tiger form to kick Lucifer off of him. He rolled up and snarled, standing his ground. Lucifer just smiled before shifting too, dropping to four paws. The dreaded white tiger stood before him, teeth bared, ready to fight.


	21. Win Some,  Lose Some

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TW: violence, death, suicidal ideation, suicide attempt, rape, gang rape, torture, psychological abuse, and whipping.
> 
> This is the darkest chapter of the fic. It gets better from here on out.

Gabriel pounced first, but Lucifer was ready for him, jaws clamping around the loose fur around Gabriel’s scruff. Gabriel yelped as his brother’s teeth dug in, drawing blood. He lashed out with his claws, twisting to slash at Lucifer’s blood. A minute in and they had both drawn blood. 

Gabriel rolled away, but Lucifer was quick, batting at him, biting at his flank as he sprinted away. They were matched in strength and speed. Gabriel stopped running, standing his ground. This time they danced around each other, neither of them ready to cross the line. They snarled and batted the air around each other, but they had both realized how well matched they were. It would be a close fight. Too close.

Gabriel needed the silver Sam had dropped. He’d end this the hunter way if he had to.

Lucifer lunged, but Gabriel went low, landing a deep bite to his brother’s front leg. Lucifer knocked him over, biting along his throat. Normally, Gabriel would have given in already, and the fact he hadn’t was making the other tiger, the white tiger, angry. 

Gabriel twisted away again, but not before Lucifer’s claws cut deep across his chest. He howled in pain, hurrying away with Lucifer limping after him. They faced off again, colliding in mid-air as they threw themselves at each other, teeth bared, claws extended. They bounced off each other after a long minutes of claws tearing through striped fur. They separated, bleeding and panting as they caught their breath, before circling back, wary of the other.

They had both realized how close this fight would be. One of them would die and for all their talk of unbroken curses-- neither of them wanted to be the brother who died. And yet neither was willing to let the other remain. They circled near the forest, preparing for another clash when something inside the woods moved towards them.

Both tigers froze near the edge of the woods, sensing movement.Wolves came running from the forest, coming to help defend Gabriel and the castle. Gabriel’s relief was cut short as more wolves came running after them, Lucifer’s pack against his own, except they still had their alpha where Balthazar was dead. The wolves looked to him and Gabriel realized a moment too late that he was their alpha now. He led the charge back into the fray, running at Lucifer’s wolves, hoping to shake his brother for now.

It worked just for enough time, when Lucifer got distracted by trying to kill one of Gabriel’s wolves. It gave Gabriel just enough time to sneak away and run as fast as his tiger could carry him back to the castle. He skidded on the floor after he barged through the door, sliding on the marble floors as his claws scratched along. He shifted back, rolling to a naked, bloody stop at the base of the stairs.

“Fuck.” He forced himself up and onwards, pain lancing through him with every step. He was bleeding from his neck and from his sides, but he couldn’t stop to patch himself up just yet. He needed to win first. He did not want to be in this form when Lucifer found them. Lucifer roared outside, charging in after him, slipping just as Gabriel had, but unlike Gabriel, did not change back into his human form. His tiger smelled blood and charged up the stairs, hunting Gabriel down.

Gabriel whirled around when he heard Lucifer growl. He hunched over himself, prepared to stand his ground. Lucifer didn’t waste a minute, barreling down towards him. The white tiger leapt into the air, claws first-- Gabriel crying out as those claws dug into his shoulders and arms. His hands were burning, even covered in blood that gushed out of his brother’s chest. Gabriel cried out and the ghosts came, helping him get out from under the white tiger’s body. Lucifer had a blade of pure silver sticking out of his chest. 

Lucifer died quickly, shifting back in his final moments. His mouth moved as if he was about to speak, but nothing came out but a gurgle as he passed from this life into the next. “He’s dead.” Gabriel was going to pass out. 

“Brother.” Castiel tried to grab him as he flopped over, his eyes starting to close. “Get the doctor.” Gabriel heard him order faintly as the world grew dark. He just needed to lie down for a little while and then he’d go get Sam back. He just needed a little rest.

\-----

Two months later, Gabriel, Dean, and Bobby hit the road with wolves in tow. It had taken a lot for Dean and Gabriel to recover, even with the best care money could buy. Meg, one of Lucifer’s wolves, the alpha to be exact, had asked for the packs to merge and Gabriel had relented. She trotted along the road, hidden mostly by the woods, but she was there, so were all the wolves who had survived.

Gabriel was glad the wolves were on his side. He was gladder that Lucifer was dead. Most of the wolves had been abused by Lucifer too, and while they were skittish at best, once they realized Gabriel was nothing like his brother, they were grateful for a new home. Gabriel almost cried when Meg said he was nothing like Lucifer. How long had he lived under that man’s shadow, comparing himself to him at every turn? Gabriel wasn’t like him. He wasn’t like his abuser. He had changed. He had grown. He had healed some… with a lot more still to go. None of it still made sense, but Gabriel wasn’t about to bring him back from the dead to get the answers to those questions. 

It just-- it never made sense that Lucifer had targeted him.

But now they were finally on the road and Lucifer’s body had been sent back across the ocean to their family’s private cemetery. Gabriel’s father hadn’t bothered to respond to his call, leaving him to give the gory details to his father’s advisor, Baldur, who had been sympathetic but cold, like the rest of the damn country. They had at least taken the body which was something. Gabriel hadn’t wanted to look at it any longer. It was a ghastly reminder of everything he was trying to forget. It was a distraction from everything he was trying to remember. They had been searching for Sam for the past month, but nothing, until one day the wolves caught his scent and hurried back.

Gabriel had shared only good news with Sam’s family that was weirdly becoming his own. He didn’t tell them about the condition the wolves had found Sam in-- he hadn’t gotten close enough to see the worst of it, but Sam’s scent told him things were bad. Sam was weak, dying maybe. He was being kept in squalid conditions… Gabriel was so anxious to break him out and bring him back to the castle, spoil him, make sure he had all he needed to recover.

It was a three day journey. Sam could hang in there for three days. He had to. And then they could be back together where they belonged.

“We’re coming, Sam.” He whispered. “Just hang in there a little longer.” 

\---

Sam tried to move away when Gordon came in, but no such luck. A booted foot caught him in the ribs, hard, forcing all the air out of his body. He coughed, a raspy, grating sound escaping his throat.

“Shut up, slut!” The boot was back, stomping on his hand. Sam whimpered, curling in on himself. He didn’t know how long he had been here-- he just knew it had been too long. Where was Gabriel? Was he even coming? Or was he dead? Had Lucifer killed him? “I brought you a present.” Sam moaned, forcing himself upon his injured hands and knees. He knew better than to keep Gordon waiting. He was sick, had been for the past few weeks, with a fever just now setting in. “Show me how grateful you are first.” Gordon’s hands were in his greasy hair, pulling it too tightly. Tears pricked Sam’s eyes, but he opened his mouth obediently, sucking on the cock pressed down on his tongue. “Good slut. Take it all.”

Sam could do that now, days and days of being held down and forced into whatever they wanted him to do. He had been target practice, fighting dummy, and their favorite, living blow up doll. He was their easy slut, always availble for a fuck or a suck no matter what. It hadn’t started like that-- they had started out nice, fucking with his head until Gordon lost his patience and fucked him bloody in front of the entire house of hunters. And then they all took turns… even after Sam had blacked out. That first morning after-- Sam had wanted to end it all, but he forced himself to hang in there. Gabriel would come and rescue him. He would. He had to.

Sam swallowed Gordon’s release mindlessly, eyes unfocused as Gordon opened the chest he had brought in with him. He dully wondered what new things Gordon had brought to torture him with. He barely recognized his body whenever he caught sight of it. “You like it?” Gordon asked, tossing the skin down on the floor, half on Sam. Sam let out a wordless cry as he recognized the orange fur striped with black. 

“No.” He whispered, tears streaking down his dirty cheeks. “No!” He screamed, clutching the fur to his chest. He couldn’t lose Gabriel. He couldn’t lose his last hope of getting out of here. He had tried to escape, several times, all of them had ended in pain and scars that took forever to heal. He had been shot once before he could reach the road. All he could hope was that he left enough of his scent outside for the shifters to find.

“I told you we’d purify you, bitch. We killed him. We’re all you have now.” Gordon stroked down Sam’s scarred spine. “It’s better this way. This way you’re not such a freak, being used by your own kind instead of monsters.” Gordon pinned him down, and normally Sam wouldn’t fight, but losing Gabriel cracked what was left of his defenses. 

“NO!” He screamed, scratching at Gordon’s arm. Gordon slapped him, knocking him down easily. 

“I get you a gift, you show me how fucking grateful you are!” Gordon screamed back. Sam glanced around from where he lay on his face and chest, a pistol laid nearby, just out of reach. They didn’t bother putting things out of his reach anymore-- he was too easy to overpower. Gordon grabbed his hips, yanking them back. Sam squawked, trying to crawl away from what he knew was coming, but he wasn’t strong enough to compete with a well-fed, rested hunter who had been purposefully starving him these two months of hell. 

He whined as Gordon thrust in. It didn’t hurt so much anymore. He was rather used to it physically, but mentally, he’d never be okay with any of it. How could human beings be such monsters? Gabriel had been rough with him in the beginning, borderline forceful, but even he had his limits. Gordon had none. The hate and lust mixed together were unstoppable. 

But so was Sam fucking Winchester. He looked down at the fur underneath him and let out a wail of pain far more agonizing than anything the hunters could do to his body, even the ones who went along with it so not to lose their place-- the ones who showed him random kindness when Gordon and the others weren’t around. He glanced around again, his eyes focusing on the pistol. It was within grasp, his mind quickly working out how much time he would need to make it work.

As Gordon’s hips shoved him forward, Sam reached, snatching up the weapon and pointing it under his chin. With Gabriel gone and most likely Dean, he didn’t see a reason to stick around any longer. Kali had warned him, but what good had it done any of them? They’d all end up dead. There they could be together again.

Sam pulled the trigger as Gordon jostled him forward, jarring the gun loose as it went off. Sam cried out as it grazed his neck, striking Gordon behind him, striking him right in the chest.

“Fucking punish him!” Gordon screamed as he fell. Sam’s neck was bandaged with a dirty bandana as he wept, not bothering to hide his anguish at failing so miserably. He had just wanted to die. He had just wanted this all to end so he could be back with his sweet, beautiful Gabriel. He tried to grab the tiger’s skin but the other hunters dragged him away, out in the yard. He was fastened to the dog line, his arms stretched over his head as he sagged on his knees. He was whipped until his back was bloody, passed out and hanging from his wrists.

Sam didn’t know, but he had hit one of Gordon’s lungs. As the hunters kept close eyes on both of them, it seemed to be a race of which one, Sam or Gordon, who would die first. They didn’t know what to do if Gordon died first.


	22. The End of the Hunt

Sam came back to consciousness all alone. He was still on his knees, he was still hanging from his wrists, he was still sick.

“Fuck.” He let out a careful breath, tensing as he remembered he had passed out during his whipping. Dried blood flaked as he carefully stretched. Some of the wounds had scabbed over, pulling as he gingerly moved. His back ached, well, it did more than ache, but his heart still hurt more. He had failed. His neck throbbed where he had missed. He wondered how much time had passed since he tried to leave this life to find his lover in the next. 

He glanced around, noticing the tiger skin near him. It looked like it had been dropped there purposefully as if someone had tried to be kind. Sam didn’t find it very kind. It served as a very real reminder of how alone he was. 

A twig snapped behind him and Sam tensed, scrunching his eyes shut tightly as he expected a blow or worse. He let out a sob, from both physical and emotional anguish he was in, anguish that seemed to have no end in sight. He wished with all his heart that the bullet had worked. He’d rather be dead than-- than this miserable existence! 

“Hey, um, I just wanted to say sorry.” He opened his eyes to see one of the hunters, Mark, standing before him. “Uh, clearly it doesn’t fix anything, but, uh, Gordon’s dead. We brought him to the hospital, but he died pretty soon after.” Sam tried to stop the sob of relief welling up, especially with there being no possible way the hunters would let him go. “The others, well, most of them, aren’t going to come back-- too much evidence. I volunteered to come back and torch the place,” he paused, “and kill you. But that’s just what I told them. I’m not going to kill you. I’m going to let you go. Do you need a ride anywhere?” Sam shook his head, unable to stop from weeping as he was released from his chains. 

Sam sat on the ground, reaching for the tigerskin. “Ah, about that, it’s not really--” The man was cut off by a ferocious roar. He screamed, dropping the water bottle he had been about to hand to Sam. Sam curled up in a ball, trying to appear as little as a threat as he could. He was in no way a threat to any predator on the planet right now. He covered his eyes, his eyes shut fiercely, as Mark screamed and screamed. The creature growled low once the screams stopped, no sounds now but the sounds of tearing flesh. A truck backfired and the creature ran off into the woods Sam had tried to escape through.

A vehicle pulled up and Sam’s heart sank as he recognized the voices of the men inside.

“I told you he was soft on the abomination.” Gordon’s closest friend was the one driving. “Let’s make that bitch pay for what it did to Gordon. Sam curled up tighter, wishing for death yet again. One of the men kicked him in the back and he cried out, sharp and pained. A growl reverberated and the men started to glance around nervously. “Get the guns.” The leader ordered, but he was cut off by the sound of hungry howls. A pack of wolves tore through the hunters, led by an orange tiger. Sam exhaled sharply, the tiger’s ears swiveling at the sound. Distracted from its prey, the tiger sniffed carefully before stepping towards where Sam lay. A bloody muzzle pressed against his neck and the tiger chuffed low and affectionately. Sam reached shaking, injured hands to the striped fur, clinging to the tiger with another sharp cry. Sam looked frantically between the living, breathing tiger and the dirty tigerskin he had been hugging to his chest. Hope cracked his chest in two, enough for his voice to be loud enough to be heard.

“Gabe?” He asked in a pleading voice he scarcely recognized as his own. “Is that really you? Y-you’re not dead?” The tiger nuzzled him again, making a sound that sounded like purring. “Gabe.” Sam clutched at him, trying to lift his injured self up. “Get me out of here!” He needed to get out of here before more monsters appeared to sink their teeth and cocks into him. The tiger looked over his shoulder, making sure the other hunters were dead before he knelt down next to Sam, taking most of his hunter’s weight. Sam lay on top of him, holding on with his hands and knees, as Gabriel took him away from this awful place.

“Sam!” Sam squinted as Dean and Bobby rushed over. Dean and Bobby’s faces held the horror that Sam was sure he would feel if he could see himself if he wasn’t so relieved to see them. He wasn’t even ashamed that he was as naked as the day he had been born. He didn’t even think about his scars, wounds, and sickness. His family was alive. They were right in front of him. Had he died? No, he still hurt too much to be dead. Sam reached for them only to grab Gabriel’s fur again so he wouldn’t fall off.

He needed to know if they were real. If they were all still alive.

“Dean, you’re alive??” He asked, dazed. Gabriel lay down carefully, making sure not to drop his precious passenger. Dean and Bobby helped Sam to stand as Gabriel shifted. Dean pulled Sam into fierce hug and Sam tried to bite back the awful sound of pain that escaped his lips.

“Shit.” Dean’s eyes were wide as his hands came back bloody. “Sammy…” Sam didn’t let go, needing a few more minutes to convince himself they were both alive. Dean hadn’t died like Gordon had said he had. Neither had Gabriel… He let go of Dean, stumbling back, looking for Gabriel who popped up next to him to keep him from falling. Gabriel wasn’t dead.

“He thought we were dead.” Gabriel informed them before turning his attention to his lover. “Sam, we’re here. I’m so sorry it took us so long, but we’re here now.” Sam turned wide eyes to Gabriel, taking in his lover in his human form, before he burst into tears. Bobby grabbed the blankets from the trunk, passing them to Gabriel who wrapped them around Sam’s naked, bloody body. “We’re going to get you home, get you cleaned up, and get the doctor up to see you.

“I thought you were dead.” Sam pointed back to where he had been tied up. “They brought me your skin.” He sniffled, tears renewed. Gabriel made a distressed sound, wrapping his arms around Sam very carefully. Sam clung to him yet again, pressing soft kisses to his cheek and neck. “I’m s-so s-so glad you’re not dead, Gabe.”

“Right back at you, baby.” Gabriel kissed him as if he would break. Sam kissed him back like he wanted to break him. Oh gods and goddesses… if he had been successful with his suicide attempt… Gabriel would have found a corpse instead of him. Sam cried harder at that, suddenly grateful he had missed and killed Gordon instead. “So glad we got to you in time.” Sam coughed, hiding his face in Gabriel’s neck. That cough rattled his lungs-- something that concerned all the men who had come for him. “Let’s get you home so we can get you better.” Gabriel bundled him in the backseat. 

“Dean?” Sam panicked.

“I’m right here.” Dean slid in next to him. 

“Gabe?” Sam’s breaths were coming in too fast. 

“I’m here too.” Gabriel sat next to him on the other side.

“I’m fine up front.” Bobby’s eyes wrinkled up as he smiled at Sam through the mirror. “You scared us, boy. Glad to have you back.” Sam didn’t know what to say, suddenly swamped in love after being deprived of basic human kindness for two months and some change. He snuggled back, finding a comfortable place squished between his brother and his lover where his back wasn’t hurting. His face was pressed into Gabriel’s neck as he rested his head on his shoulder, but his back he trusted only to Dean right now. Dean wouldn’t try anything. He was safe. His family was here. They had taken him back. They had killed the hunters. He had killed Gordon. He was safe.

And they were going home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fluffy here, so fun fact, I get really nervous about posting angst chapters or chapters with TW content like with what happened with Sam, so if y’all could let me know if you’re okay, how you like it so far, and that you don’t hate me yet, I’d really appreciate it! ❤️


	23. Truth Hurts

Sam slept on the way home. 

Home.

All those years that Gabriel had felt imprisoned in the castle, and yet, with Sam, it felt like home. The ride home felt long, but Gabriel was determined to get Sam back somewhere safe. They took care of him the best they could in the car, but he slept for most of it. Rest was good. Rest had helped them heal to the point that they could get Sam, and now, now they would rest and heal together.

Bobby, Dean, and Gabriel conversed in low tones, cataloguing what had happened to their Sam and what the best ways would be to help him.

“It’ll be up to him, of course, but Gabriel, I think you’ll do a whole lot of good for him in the days to come.” Bobby said softly as Sam nestled closer to Gabriel while still sleeping. “You’ve turned into someone quite remarkable-- someone I’d be proud to call my son too someday.”

Bobby was a good dad. Something Gabriel did not know how to approach at all. That didn’t mean he didn’t appreciate the love the older man showed him… he just didn’t know how to handle it. His apprehension must have shown because Dean was quick to speak up.

“Bobby’s a lot when you’re used to shit.” Dean smiled. “Sam and I gave him a hard time until we realized he actually cared and he wasn’t going anywhere.” Bobby gave Dean a warm smile, his love and pride evident on his face.

“You boys made me the proudest dad in the world.” Bobby said quietly. “I’d do anything for ya.” Gabriel found it hard to believe their story had all started when he imprisoned Bobby and Sam had slept with him to free his dad. They had come such a long way since then. Gabriel looked over to check on Sam, sweet, sleeping Sam. 

“Do you think he’ll survive this?” He asked carefully. They were Sam’s family-- they had to have the answers Gabriel didn’t have. He had almost turned into a monster when Lucifer raped him and abused him for all those months. What would Sam turn into now that Gordon had done the same to him? 

Gabriel would rather take it on all over again then to see Sam go through something so horrific. Gordon had shared him. Lucifer had shared Gabriel too, though he had never been able to see who. Lucifer drugged him when he showed him off. But he knew it was the same person-- some kind of sick approval had been sought and Gabriel didn’t think Lucifer ever got it. 

“Sam’s got a big heart.” Bobby said at the same time that Dean said his brother was strong. “He’s strong, yea, but this will affect him, Gabriel.”

“Will he be like me?” Gabriel asked the question he was truly dreading. It was so difficult to be vulnerable, and yet, with all the years under the curse, he had learned that he had to be.

“No, Sam’s not like that.” Dean shook his head. “He internalizes everything. He’ll take it out on himself-- not others.”

“That sounds almost worse.” Gabriel had done both when all was said and done. He had taken others’ bracelets because he had lost his own, but when he had been cursed-- he was the one he hurt the most. 

“We will be there for him. All of us. Cas included.” Dean responded. Gabriel glanced at him, the way he smiled as he said Gabriel’s brother’s name. Cas had been very attentive to Dean while he was recovering. They had spent a lot of time together and they both seemed better for it. Gabriel vaguely remembered Sam telling him that Cas wanted Dean around and he had to wonder if there was something more there. 

It was vastly reassuring to realize he was thinking about other people, that he cared about other people. Meg had told him what it was like under Lucifer. He had abused his wolves. Forced them. Taken advantage of them. It made Gabriel sick. It was part of the reason he had welcomed them into his pack. It was from Meg that he learned just how deeply Balthazar’s betrayal ran. It had stung, but Gabriel had understood it in a way. Castiel on the other hand took it to heart. It had hurt his brother and that was what Gabriel struggled to forgive. His brothers had been hurt enough. They all had been hurt enough. It was time to move on. It was time to heal.

When Gabriel had Sam in his bedroom that first night… It made him sick to think about how much he had been like Lucifer. He blinked back emotion as he realized that Sam had helped him to cut past all of that. Sam had been patient enough to meet him despite how horrible Gabriel had been. He didn’t deserve redemption, like at all, but he was so very grateful for the chance.

He just hoped wherever she was that Kali wasn’t smirking too much. Smug goddess.

Kali wasn’t far. She wasn’t far at all, wrapped up in Sam’s sub-conscious, meeting with him in his dreams. He had called for her towards the end and she had helped in her own way… like making sure the bullet missed Sam and hit Gordon. But now wasn’t the time for that revelation. Sam was not in the place to receive that news well.

“Is the curse broken yet?” Sam asked. He was dressed in fine clothes, clothes that were from a culture he didn’t recognize. “Have we all suffered enough for it to be broken?” Kali caught the hints of anger and bitterness. Sam had indeed suffered, but not for the curse. He had suffered because of evil men who would stop at nothing to have things their way. 

“Lucifer and Gordon are dead.” She answered him. “They caused what happened to you. That curse is indeed broken.”

“Gabriel’s curse.” Sam’s lip curled slightly. Kali pursed her red lips, studying the broken man before her.

“You know, I don’t really appreciate your tone, Samuel.” Her words were heavy. Sam flinched as one would after living in such an abusive environment for those past months. “Gabriel will break the curse when he’s ready.”

“So he didn’t even need my help.” Sam’s response was ugly, but Kali could see within. She knew how much Sam prided himself in helping others and for all of that to have been for naught… it affected his pride more than he wanted to let her know.

“Perhaps you’ve learned a valuable lesson then… about suffering needlessly so you can feel good about yourself.” Kali frowned. “Your worth does not come from how much you can suffer for others, Sam. I tried to warn you.”

“I wanted to help him!”

“And you would have regardless. You suffered needlessly.” Kali’s words cut Sam deep and he turned away. 

“This is a dream, right?” He asked. “I’d like to leave.”

“Not until you face the truth. You helped Gabriel because it helped you feel better about yourself.”

“What’s so wrong with that?” There were tears in the hunter’s eyes now, but Kali wasn’t worried. She knew where to apply pressure and for how long. Sam needed to learn this if they were truly to have a chance at forever. “It changed somewhere in the middle.” He admitted. “The feelings were-- are real. I do love him and not because I suffered…” He broke. “The things they did to me, Kali…” The despair was easy to read on his face and the goddess decided to show some mercy.

“I came when you prayed.” She admitted after a long pause. “I kept the bullet from killing you as cruel as that was at that moment. But we’ve already talked about how cruel I can be.”

“You kept alive to see Gabriel and Dean again.” Sam replied simply. “For that I am grateful.”

“You do have manners sometimes.” Kali smirked. “Wake up, Sam. Gabriel is worrying about you.”

“When will the curse be broken?”

“When Gabriel learns from you and loves himself.” Kali sighed. “He added that stipulation, Sam, so that he could protect the both of you from Lucifer.” She revealed. “He thinks it’s impossible and yet he is so close… because of you.”

“But--”

“Gabriel always needed another person to show him the way.” Kali said carefully. “So while it feels like it was all a big trick right now, it wasn’t. Gabriel needed you to love him to see how it could be done.” She smiled. “You have a big heart, Samuel, and you have support. You will get through this. You will feel happiness and safety again someday.” She leaned forward, tapping his forehead. “Now wake up.”

Sam woke up with a start, a sharp intake of breath into Gabriel’s neck.

“Gabe.” He whispered, his hand clutching at his lover’s jacket. “I saw Kali. She-- the curse will be broken.” Gabriel frowned.

“How?”

“Because you have what it takes to break it.” Sam lifted his head to press a chaste kiss to Gabriel’s lips. “And you have us too.”

“Okay.” Gabriel whispered hoarsely. “Okay, I’ll work on it.” Sam smiled tiredly, resting his head on Gabriel’s shoulder again. He was dirty, hurt, and scarred in more ways than one, but in that moment, he felt raw and yet, content. 

“Are we almost home?”

“We’re pulling in now.” Gabriel pressed a kiss to Sam’s head. “The doctor is waiting for us.” Sam frowned, contentment forgotten. 

“You won’t leave me alone with him, right?”

“Right.” Gabriel promised. “Dean and I are going to help you get washed up first, get you wrapped up in a big, fluffy bathrobe, and then the doctor is going to take a look at your injuries.”

“We’ll be there the whole time.” Dean spoke up, squeezing Sam’s hand carefully. “We’re going to keep you safe this time.” Sam let out a heavy sigh, tension slowly easing out of him as he processed what they both said.

“Okay.” He said simply after a moment. “Let’s do it. Let’s get it over with. But I’ll warn you now… none of it’s pretty… and neither of you know the worst of it yet.”

“That’s okay. We’ll face it together.”

“Yea, Sammy.”

“We’re not going anywhere, boy.”

“Okay.”


	24. Broken Curses

Between the two of them, Dean and Gabriel were able to maneuver themselves and Sam into the shower. They kept their boxers on, trying to make it easier on Sam, but Sam was past the point of caring. 

“You okay?” Dean asked, taking on most of the work of holding his brother up. Sam sank into his shoulder and cracked a tired smile.

“No, but I will be. Kali promised.” Gabriel’s ears perked up at that. Sam seemed to be quite the conversationalist with the goddess. She had that effect on people.

“You okay if I start washing you up?” Gabriel asked softly. Sam nodded. 

“I know this is awkward.” He admitted. “But the faster this is all over with, like seeing the doctor and telling you all what happened, the better.”

“We’ve got you, brother.” Dean murmured. Sam closed his eyes, content to drift out of his body. Gabriel started with the hardest place first. He talked while he washed Sam, telling him where he was going to wash so Sam could prepare himself first. If Sam could tell his hands were shaking, the hunter didn’t comment on it. It just made Gabriel so mad… it hurt him to see Sam so broken. Gordon and the hunters had exacted a cruel revenge on Sam and to really see what had been done to Sam… It killed Gabriel that he hadn’t been able to get there sooner. 

It was clear Sam had been raped. A lot. But he had also been whipped, beated, bruised. Bones had been broken for no good reason. There were cigarette burns and small cuts from knives and broken glass. There were wounds that looked like they came from animals-- the tiger scented dog and growled deep inside of Gabriel. Thankfully, most of these injuries would heal without too much trouble, but some of them were deep. Some of them would scar Sam forever. As if he wouldn’t carry the scars from the trauma for years and years, maybe even always.

“It’s okay, Gabriel. I’m here now. I’m back home with you all now.” Sam spoke up when Gabriel went quiet and didn’t touch him for a solid few minutes. Gabriel had worked up to Sam’s neck and the ugly bullet wound that grazed and puckered Sam’s neck.

“Who did this to you?” Gabriel’s fingers were noticeably shaking as he touched the wound gingerly. It had been hidden under a dirty bandana-- he hadn’t noticed it until now. “They shot you?”

“I did that one.” Sam kept his eyes closed so he wouldn't have to see that awful realization on Gabriel’s face. “When they brought the tiger skin and said it was you. I tried to kill myself.” He said softly. “I thought you all were dead and I wanted to be with you guys, not them.”

“Sammy.” Dean was the one who broke the silence. He hugged his brother close. “I’m damn happy you’re an awful shot.”

“Me too.” Sam sniffled. “Me too.” He blew out a heavy sigh. “Kali helped. I missed me but I hit Gordon in the lung. He died.”

“Good.” Gabriel growled. The tiger was close. Wanted to burst out and roar his awful truth. He couldn’t handle this right now. 

“Go.” Dean nodded him off. “We have the shower chair. Bring it in here and I’ll finish up.”

“Gabriel?” The insecurity in Sam’s voice hurt.

“I’ll be back, baby.” Gabriel kissed his forehead, making sure that Sam knew he was telling the truth. “The tiger needs to come out and I don’t want to do it in here.”

“I’m sorry.” Sam apologized, tears welling up in his eyes. “I know it’s a lot.”

“It is a lot.” Gabriel ran a hand through Sam’s dirty hair. Dean rolled his eyes and went to get the shower chair himself, transferring Sam to Gabriel. “But it’s not too much. I’m not leaving you, baby, not permanently. I need to shift and deal with the tiger so I can come back and take care of you. You’re not too much.” He assured Sam. “I’m going to be with you every step of the way, okay?”

“Okay.” Sam sniffled. He hugged Gabriel, hanging on to him. He was weak and sick. He still had that cough that worried Gabriel. 

“Here we are.” Dean had the chair. They danced around so Dean could fit the chair in and get it secure. Gabriel and Dean got Sam into the chair carefully. “There we go.” Dean smiled. “Let’s wash this hair, Sammy. I can cut it all off if you want.” Sam shook his head and Dean didn’t joke again.

“I’ll be back.” Gabriel promised before shifting down to four paws. He hadn’t been in this form as much. Ever since he had faced and fought Lucifer… every day since he found it harder and harder to take on his tiger form. He still loved the tiger. He had learned to embrace the wild side of him. The tiger made things easier and harder. Hell, he had lived with him for fifteen years. But Gabriel and the tiger both knew that things were coming to an end. One way or another, one side was going to win out. Gabriel knew now which side that needed to be.

Sam needed him and he needed Sam. He needed to be human for Sam.

The tiger headed towards the forest, but Gabriel knew where this needed to end. The temple. He thought and the tiger changed directions.

“Gabriel.” Kali was there, waiting, a drink in her manicured hand. “I thought you might show up.” Gabriel shed his tigerskin, standing before her as bare as the day he had been born.

“It’s time.” He said softly.

“I didn’t expect giving the tiger up would be so hard for you.” Kali admitted. “But you’ve impressed me.” She reached over, grabbing his arm where the tattoo of the rose rested on his pale skin. “Sam’s impressed me. Healing isn’t going to come easy for either of you after this.”

“We’ll get through it.” 

“You might lose him yet again before you can keep him.”

“Keep your riddles.” Gabriel shook his head. “We can do this. We’ve gotten through so much already.”

“All right.” She smiled. “I’m proud of you, Gabriel.” And with that, she pulled back. Gabriel gasped at the pain shooting up his right arm up into his shoulders. He fell to his knees as the pain consumed him like a fire, jerking on the ground like he was being electrocuted. He wasn’t sure when he blacked out, but it came after he heard the tiger growl for the last time. Tears dripped down his face and then everything went dark.

“Sam.” He whispered. The doctor was at the castle, about to do Sam’s examination. Gabriel couldn’t afford to miss that. Sam needed him to be there for that. 

“Allow me.” Kali spirited him over to the castle. “Castiel, get him to Sam.” She ordered. “We will be seeing less of each other, Gabriel, but I will always be just a prayer away. I’ll look forward to seeing you at the temple.” She smiled. “Well done.”

“Gabriel!” Castiel’s blue eyes were wide as he caught his fully human brother with his own fully human body.

“Cassie, were your eyes always so blue?” Gabriel squinted over at him. “It’s good to see you!”

“You did it! You broke the curse!” Castiel’s smile was so big. Gabriel was glad. They had gotten through a season where his brother had not nearly smiled enough. 

“I did. And now that I did, no breaking Dean’s heart.” Gabriel teased. “He’s not going to be able to take his eyes off of you.” He said almost wistfully. Now that the curse was broken, he and his brothers would probably be heading their separate ways. He’d miss them, but they deserved to be free.

“You’re not getting rid of me that easily.” Castiel reassured him, helping him up the stairs. “You’re just in time, by the way, Dean just got Sam upstairs to the doctor.”

“Gabriel!” Sam’s relief was sharp as they staggered in. “Are you all right?” He frowned. “Something’s happened.”

“I’m okay.” Gabriel grinned. “Better than okay. I just saw Kali is all.”

“Ah.” Sam’s smile was starting to grow. “You did it after all.”

“What is going on?” Bobby asked as the doctor patiently waited for them all to settle down. “Is what’s happening what I think is happening?”

“Yea, Gabe broke the curse.”

“We all did.” Gabriel stepped forward. “But especially you, Sam. I wouldn’t have ever done it if it wasn’t for you.”

“What do you mean?” Sam asked. “Kali said--”

“I had to pick which side of me would be best for you… after learning to love both of them because of you. One side of me was going to win out forever and how I see it, well, you need me to be human. And that’s what I picked. I picked you. I love you.” Gabriel said softly. He wasn’t sure if he was explaining this correctly, but it didn’t matter. What mattered was that Sam knew that he was loved and that Gabriel wasn’t going anywhere. “It’s gone.” Gabriel bared his arm. “The rose… the curse. It’s gone.”

“I’m so proud of you.” Sam whispered. “Come lie down with me. You look like you’re going to pass out.”

“Being human is a little harder than I remembered.” Gabriel obeyed with a laugh. “But-- thank you, Sam. You brought me back. I truly could not have done without you. Before you… I didn’t want to.”


	25. Wandering Paths

Something was off with Sam.

Scratch that.

Sam wasn’t doing well.

While Gabriel was taking more steps to healing and thriving, while Castiel and Dean were drawing closer together each day, while Michael and Uriel started to make appearances at dinner-- Sam was struggling.

Most days he just felt like he was drowning. And there were others around, loved ones and family who wanted to pull him out.

He just wasn’t sure he wanted to be saved this time.

Gabriel noticed him pulling away, Dean tried to include him more, and Bobby, bless him, just sat with him through the hardest parts. 

He was healing bodily, but his mind was floundering. So when Bobby offered to drive him to see a friend who also was a psychologist-- Sam made up his mind to go. Things were getting pretty dark, like wishing the bullet hadn’t missed kind of dark.

Pamela was fun. She was blind. She flirted like she existed to do just that, but then when he got uncomfortable, she stopped.

He talked to her. He prayed to Kali. And after the first session with Pamela, Sam made up his mind. He needed to leave the castle. He needed to go home and figure things out. 

He was the one who needed help and it fucked him up.

“Let him go.” Kali appeared by Gabriel’s chair. “He’ll come back when he’s ready.”

“I gave up the tiger for him.” Gabriel stared into the flames before him. He couldn’t meet the goddess’s gaze. “It fucking hurts.” He whispered.

“But we’re not going to regress, right?” Kali frowned. “You could go home, face your father, continue your healing journey. Sam’s heart will guide him back to you when the time is right.”

“I’m tired of waiting.” Gabriel covered his face with his hands. He finally glanced up at her over his fingers. “I wanted a happy ending, Kali.”

“You’re not dead yet, Gabriel.” She smirked before she softened. “I cannot control these events. Not that I would intervene if I could. Sam needs to do what he needs to do to heal. His journey is different from yours.”

“Just feels like I’m getting the boot.”

“Well, you are.” Kali shrugged elegantly. “But temporarily. He gave up a lot to help you. Let him get his footing again. He’ll figure things out. And you know, it wouldn’t hurt you to maybe go see someone too.”

“Yea, yea.” Kali smiled, pride in her eyes, as she left in a burst of flame. Gabriel felt the sting of rejection still, but his perspective had been adjusted. Like it had been with the tiger, it wasn’t really about him. Sam needed to deal with his shit and he couldn’t do that if Gabriel was holding him back.

It just sucked. Healing hurt. It meant facing all the darkness he had held inside of himself for so long. Kali was right on all accounts. He probably should talk to someone and he probably should face his dad. He had daddy issues on top of brother issues. And there was the matter of his second abuser. Going home meant facing all the hurt he had compartmentalized to another continent.

So he booked a ticket home after drinking half a bottle of whiskey. Gabriel wasn’t a coward. He had faced Lucifer and won. Hell, he still had the scars and the burns to prove it. 

It was time to go home and visit the place where the curse started. And maybe he wouldn’t mope over Sam the whole time he was there. He’d go for a week and come right back because all the gods and goddesses knew he could not handle his overseas family for much longer than that.

“Where is he?” Sam looked around the castle that still felt like home. He had vanished for a few weeks, something he felt bad about, but he had needed space from everything and everyone… even Gabriel. “What do you mean he’s not here?”

Meg looked at him cautiously.

“Castiel?” She called out. “I’m above my pay grade right now.”

“Sam!” Castiel’s concerned look was wiped away with an eager smile. He hurried over, wrapping his arms around Sam in a tight hug. “I’m so happy to see you.”

“It’s good to see you too, Cas.”

“How are you? How’s Bobby and Dean?” It was casual, too casual, and Sam had to smile. It was no secret that Castiel was the person who made Dean smile at his phone every morning while he made them all breakfast.  
“We’re doing all right, Castiel. How are you?”

“I’m well.” Cas’s smile was no less bright as he ran his hands down his shirt. “It’s weird having a body again.”

“Yea, I bet.” Sam had to laugh. 

“Come in.” Castiel invited him inside. “We can catch up.”

“I can’t stay long.” Sam glanced back at the truck. “It’s hard coming back here.”

“And Gabriel isn’t here to make it easier.”

“I don’t know if that would make it easier.” Sam shifted uneasily.

“Oh.” Castiel said softly. “I will keep my nose out of it then.” Sam didn’t miss how his face fell. Great. He probably thought Sam had come to break up with Gabriel or something.

“I just came to see him, Castiel.” He assured his friend. “I miss him.” He said quietly, like he was ashamed.

“He’ll be back in a few days.” Castiel revealed. “He went home to face himself.”

“How has he been doing?”

“He misses you. There was definitely moping for more than a few days.”

“Shit, I’m sorry.”

“I don’t think I’m the one who needs to hear that.” Castiel said it more graciously than Sam deserved. “He understands needing space, Sam.” 

“Okay.” Sam pulled at the sleeves of his flannel shirt. “You ask Dean out yet?” He changed the subject to something happier than he and Gabriel’s current lack of a love life. It was his fault things shifted. If he had just managed to keep himself safe… if he had just managed to not push Gabriel away. He hadn’t meant to. It had just happened. He shut down.

Pamela said it was typical and not to worry about it, but Sam worried all the same. 

“Not yet.” Castiel couldn’t help but smile. “I want to and I will soon. I’ve just been enjoying getting to know him. He’s a good man. I-I mean, I know you know that.” He stammered. “It’s just nice.” His cheeks were pink.

“It’s safe to say he feels the same way about you.” Sam had to smile back. “The Roadhouse is his favorite bar, you know,” he shrugged innocently, “for future references.”

“Thank you, Sam, your support means a lot.” Castiel was beaming in his chair. His phone vibrated. “Excuse me.” Sam nodded and Castiel pulled his phone out, texting something quickly. His phone vibrated again. “Gabriel misses you too.” Castiel held up the phone so Sam could see the screen. It was a photo of Gabriel pouting with the caption ‘this place would suck a lot less if you were here, Sam. xoxo.’ Sam could feel sadness creeping up inside as tears welled up in his eyes.

“I wish I could be there too.” Sam got up quickly, wiping his face roughly. Seeing Gabriel brought up all these feelings, good feelings, it just hurt to know he was so far away. “I’ve got to go.” Castiel nodded. 

“You’re always welcome here.” He started to get up. “I’ll walk you out.”

“No, I’m okay. I know the way out.” He glanced back. “Give him my love.”

Of course he knew the way out. He had fled this way more than once. He needed to leave before he started snotting in the entryway. 

“Do you want his number?” Castiel asked. “He doesn’t mind if I give it to you.”

“Maybe later.” Sam yanked the door open with more force than was necessary. “Sorry, Cas, I just need a minute.”

“Sam, we’re here for you.” Castiel gave him a sad look, one that Sam mistook for pity. “Take all the time you need.”

“Thanks.” Sam was gone, hurrying back to his truck, the door shutting behind him as he backed up quickly and accelerated towards the woods. The gate stayed open now, something he’d appreciate more if he wasn’t such a fucking mess.


	26. Pre-Date Conversations

Weeks passed. It was mid-autumn, and half of the colorful leaves in the forest had fallen to the ground.

“I’m closing the castle.” Gabriel announced one day, glancing at the once again neglected rose garden outside of the large windows. “It’s time we moved on with our lives.”

He had been back home for a little over a month, running away from the country of his birth yet again. His trip had been… difficult. The only bright spot that moment when Castiel told him that Sam was visiting the castle, missing him. And then he came home to find that Sam never returned. He needed to move. He needed to stop staring up the drive, expecting Sam’s truck to come through the gate.

“Are you going back to the palace?” Castiel asked. He wasn’t going anywhere just yet, not without Dean. They were going on a date that weekend-- Castiel having finally worked up the courage to ask him to meet him at the Roadhouse. “Are you going home?”

“It’s not home.” Gabriel retorted, frowning at his younger brother. “I’m not sure it ever was.” His expression faded into something more wistful and Castiel knew then that Sam had been it for Gabriel. Sam was the home Gabriel had never had. The Winchesters had become the real family they never had. “And no, I’m going to move into town, get a job, learn to give back to the community.”

“Sam is teaching again.” Castiel said innocently. “If you feel like taking some classes.” Gabriel smiled sadly.

“I wouldn’t do that to him. He needs space and I will give him space. I know what it’s like.” He added. “I respect him too much to force myself back into his life.” They both knew he also loved Sam too much to do that, but love was a much harder word to say right now.

“I understand.” Castiel said softly. “I want to stay here. I want to be near Dean.”

“I’m happy for you.” And Gabriel was. It was just that Dean reminded him of Sam and thinking of Sam sometimes led him into dark thoughts, thoughts of somehow being unworthy of the other man. Kali helped. Praying to Kali helped. His tongue sliding over the now familiar syllables of each prayer calmed him down and helped him to come back to himself. He had given up the tiger for Sam when it had been him who needed to let him go all along. The tiger had been all the ways he had been keeping others away so he would never be hurt again. And here he was, bleeding free, talking about it, and healing.

Kali was proud of him, but more importantly, Gabriel was proud of himself. He might stumble. He fell down too. But he always got back up.

“We have a date Friday night.” Castiel said shyly. “It’s at a bar in town. Would you like to come along?” That was Castiel, sweet and true to a fault, making sure Gabriel was included even when he probably would prefer being alone with Dean. It was their first real date after all.

“No.” Gabriel shook his head with a smile. “Thank you for inviting me, but that night needs to be about you and Dean.” On cue, Castiel’s phone dinged and Gabriel’s brother glanced down with a smile. “None of my business, but I wouldn’t be your older brother if I didn’t tease you… you gonna get lucky this weekend, Cassie?” Gabriel’s smile turned real, twisting into a grin. Castiel let him have his fun-- he was just happy to see the smile reach his brother’s eyes. He had been worried about Gabriel since he had returned… home. How weird to consider what had been a prison to be their home now. They had found something real here in the Winchesters and that had transformed this castle… and them… more than anything.

“I hope so.” Castiel bit his tongue, blushing as he ducked his head down. “I’m not a ghost anymore.”

“I’m sorry that you ever had to be.” Gabriel blurted suddenly, watching as Castiel’s spine straightened and his eyes widened with surprise. They hadn’t talked about the curse after it was broken as if speaking about it would bring it back. “It’s my fault you were cursed.”

“I forgave you a long time ago.” Castiel said gently. It was true. For all the anger and hurt he had felt over the years, they had faded. Castiel had found resentment to be too heavy of a burden to carry. He never excused Gabriel’s behavior, even when he understood it. He had always wanted Gabriel to heal, to be happy… And he had seen it happen, slowly, and then quickly, wrapped up in Sam and all who the hunter was. He hoped their story wasn’t over. Gabriel was happier with Sam around, but bless him, he was trying. Castiel admired that in his brother. It might take him a long time to get where he was going, but he didn’t give up that easily. He managed. He made it happen in his own timing.

Hopefully, Sam had some of that same stuff in him.

“You’re too nice to me.” Gabriel glanced out the window again. Still no truck. Still no Sam. “But thanks, Cassie. It means a lot.” Castiel smiled at him and Gabriel had to smile back. Castiel knew it was hard for him to say those things, and so he appreciated the effort all the more. It had been years, but he was getting his brother back. And it was okay it had taken Gabriel so long. What Lucifer had done… No. Castiel wasn’t thinking about that. Lucifer was dead. He couldn’t cause any more damage than he had already done.

“You’re welcome.”

Days passed and it was finally time for Castiel’s date with Dean. He was excited even though he tried to hide it.

“Cassie, you look great.” Gabriel laughed when Castiel showed him yet another outfit. “Go with the black jeans and Dean will not be able to stop looking at your ass.” He winked. “And go with the blue shirt, make those eyes pop.”

“He won’t notice them if he’s looking at my ass.” Castiel ran a hand through his hair, making it stick up messily. Gabriel rolled his eyes with a smile. Dean was going to be staring at all of Castiel all damn night. Castiel inherited all the right genes from their parents. He was tall, dark-haired, blue-eyed, and handsome. And Gabriel was Gabriel, short with wild hair that did whatever wanted, and eyes that were more unusual than enchanting. Maybe that was why Sam left-- “Gabriel, are you listening?”

“Sorry.” Gabriel blinked. “Cassie, he’s not going to be able to take his eyes off you.”

“Thanks for helping me.” Castiel said in a quieter voice. “I’ll go try on the outfit you recommended.”

“You do that and then get your ass to the bar.”

“Can you drive me?” Castiel didn’t have his license yet. He had gotten his permit and had been practicing with Gabriel, but he wasn’t there yet. Gabriel had a feeling Dean was going to be helping him get that in no time. Gabriel had a feeling those two would be inseparable once things heated up between them. Good. Castiel deserved happiness, especially after all Gabriel had put him through.

Okay, so Gabriel wasn’t in the best headspace. He was trying, that was what mattered most.

“Of course.” He was flattered that Castiel asked him. He could have asked any of the wolves or their brothers, but no, he asked Gabriel. It was a tiny spot of light in the darkness Gabriel was trying to climb out of. “Cassie, do you think I should go see someone? Like a therapist or something?” Castiel glanced over his shoulder.

“Do you think you should see someone?” He asked cautiously.

“I think I need some help for where I am right now.” Gabriel admitted.

“Then I support you.” Castiel said reassuringly. “I’ll ask around if there are any in town.”

“There are a couple.” Gabriel answered. “I already looked. I just need to pick one.”

“I’m proud of you.” And then Castiel hurried back to his room, changing one final time. “Okay, you’re right.” He laughed when he joined Gabriel in the entryway of the castle. “Hey, have you found anywhere to live yet?”

“I found a nice house near town.” Gabriel shrugged as he pulled on his light brown peacoat. 

“Is it okay if we stay here? Me and Michael, maybe Meg too?”

“Of course.” Gabriel blinked. “Honestly, I didn’t even think you all might want to stay here. That’s why I’ve been looking at a house, something that can fit us all.”

“Oh.” Castiel was pleasantly surprised to realize his brother had been considering them all. He had kind of assumed that Gabriel was just ditching them now that the curse was broken.

“I’m sorry.” Gabriel hurried to apologize. “I shouldn’t have assumed you all would come with me.”

“Maybe we can all sit down and talk about, get on the same page.” Castiel offered. He wasn’t going to lie, wherever he ended up, he was hoping to end up with Dean if things continued to go well. “I can’t speak for them, but I’m happy to stay with you, Gabriel. I had assumed you’d want your space, that’s all.”

“I’m not Sam.” Gabriel mumbled under his breath, but Castiel heard him. He chose wisely not to comment, following his brother out to the car. He had a date with Dean Winchester tonight and he couldn’t wait!


	27. Back Together

The butterflies didn’t kick in until Castiel saw the Impala parked outside the bar. 

“He’s here.” He breathed, gripping the car door tightly.

“Whoa, easy there!” Gabriel glanced over at him. “It’s going to be great, okay? He likes you-- he really likes you. It’s so cute, it’s a little gross.” Castiel wrinkled his nose. He wanted to say that gross was finding Gabriel and Sam fucking in the living room in front of the fire, but he bit his tongue. Gabriel didn’t need any extra reminders of Sam. Castiel saw how he looked for him, the hope in his eyes dying a little more each time that Sam didn’t come back.

“Thanks, Gabriel.” Gabriel parked and looked over at him. Castiel didn’t notice, staring at the door with apprehension.

“Want me to walk you in?” Gabriel offered after a few minutes of Castiel trying to control his breathing.

“Yes, please.” Castiel shot him a grateful look. “I wasn’t nervous until now. I’ve never felt like this before, Gabriel!”

“It feels like the first time.” Gabriel sang lightly, chuckling when Castiel’s expression changed from terrified to confused. Dean and Castiel could get to that later. “Come on.” He got out of the car, hiding his smile as Castiel reluctantly opened his door. He knew all this stress would melt away as soon as he got Cassie close enough to see Dean. The man was probably Castiel’s first love and Gabriel… despite his own sadness… was so genuinely happy for his little brother.

They walked in together, greeted by light, loud music, and laughter as they walked through the Roadhouse’s doors. Dean had a booth near the back where it was quieter, by a window. Dean was looking a bit nervous himself, staring at the table, drumming his fingers on the edge. Gabriel leaned over to make himself heard. “There’s your man, Cassie, go get him.” Castiel brightened.

“Thank you, Gabriel.” The gratefulness was so real before Castiel stepped towards Dean, making his way over quickly.

“Kiss me again, Sam Winchester, and I will rip your lips off!” There was a crash that got the bar’s attention (with the exception of Dean and Castiel who were shyly saying hello in their corner) and Gabriel turned to see a very drunk Sam fall on his ass, an angry blonde glaring down at him.

“Didn’t mean anything, Jo fucking Harvelle.” Sam slurred. Gabriel had never seen him like this, and while it hurt to see him, he couldn’t find it in himself to move towards him.

“I have half a mind to kick you out right now.”

“I’ll just fucking go!” Sam shouted, somehow managing to get back on his feet without falling over. It was impressive with how much he was swaying. 

“You’re not fucking driving.” The blonde must know him, Gabriel realized, as she switched from pissed to protective in a matter of seconds. “Go sit down before you fall down.” Sam was escorted over to an empty booth near the door, now between Gabriel and his way out. The tall hunter collapsed, leaning heavily on his hands.

“I wanna-nother-shot.”

“You’re lucky if me or mom let you in again if you keep acting like this.” Gabriel knew he shouldn’t just stand there and listen to all of this. Sam was none of his business. He had made that much clear. But he couldn’t get his feet to move. He was stuck. Sam had left him like this and he hated how he couldn’t get himself to move on from him. Sam retorted something snarky if the water glass slammed down said anything. “Drink. God, Sam, what if your students come in and see you like this.”

“I don’t care.” Sam peered up at her. 

“Why are you doing this?” She paused, concern bleeding into her voice. “I’ve known you and Dean a long time. He’s the one who used to get black out drunk… not you.” So they were friends. Sam blinked.

“I’m empty, Jo.” He said in a low voice. “And nothing helps.”

“We’re here for you.” She reached over and squeezed his shoulder. “Whatever you’re going through-- you’re not alone, Sam. You have friends and family who love you… who want to help.”

“Yea, I--” Sam stopped, squinting past Jo. “Gabriel?!” Jo turned around, her hand back on her hip.

“The Gabriel?” She glared. Gabriel glared right back. He hadn’t done anything that he could think of to have a stranger look at him like she was doing right now.

“Jo-- don’t.” Sam touched her elbow. Something that shouldn’t have made Gabriel feel the stab of jealousy in his stomach. “He’s not the bad guy here, I am.”

“Get your act together, Winchester.” And with that, she walked away, giving them space.

“Wanna sit?” Sam offered. “I’d get you a drink, but I’m cut off.”

“I’m good. I was just dropping off Cassie.” Gabriel managed one step closer to Sam before he stopped. He was not sitting in that booth with him. He was not going to ask him what the hell he was doing. Sam didn’t need that from him. He had people in his life who were looking out for him.

“I miss you.”

“You’re doing a hell of a job showing it.” Gabriel couldn’t stop it from coming out of his mouth. 

“I know.” Sam deflated. “I know. I suck. I’m sorry. You probably don’t want anything to do with me anymore. I don’t.”

“I didn’t say that.” Gabriel stepped closer. Sam looked up at him, like really looked at him with his red, bleary eyes. “Here.” Gabriel was standing at the edge of the table. “Let me see your phone and we can talk about this another time when you’re less drunk.” After a few minutes of searching, Sam pulled his phone out and handed it over. Gabriel entered his cell phone number in, hoping Sam would use it. At least he wanted Gabriel’s number this time.

“Why are you being nice to me?” Sam was tearing up and Gabriel’s resolve was weakening.

“Because nothing has changed for me.” Gabriel answered. “At least not with how I feel about you.”

“You still love me?” Sam asked, visibly surprised. Gabriel’s heart clenched, both at his question and his reaction.

“Yea, Sam, I still love you.” Gabriel replied numbly. “I gotta go now, okay?”

“I’ll come with you.” Sam stood up, holding on to the table for support. “Just-- I-- Can I have a ride?”

“Where do you live?”

“I don’t remember.” A weak, ashamed laugh.

“You can crash in your old room.” Gabriel offered despite himself. He knew it would hurt bringing Sam home, especially when he would probably be gone in the morning. Sam would push him away again once he sobered up, but right now, Sam needed him and Gabriel missed him so much that right now he couldn’t say no.

“Okay.” Sam smiled, but it was off, polluted by all the alcohol he had drunk. 

“I’ll let Dean know.” Gabriel pointed a finger at Sam. “Stay here. He doesn’t need to be worrying about you when he’s on a date with my brother. I’m not fucking this up for Cassie.”

“Okay.” Sam nodded. Gabriel hurried over and let both Dean and Castiel know what was going on. 

“I’ll give Cas a ride home.” Dean promised and Gabriel had to smile at that. “It’s good to see you, Gabriel.” He added. “Bobby and I want to come visit you guys sometime.”

“It’s good to see you too, Dean. And you can give Castiel a ride home on one condition...only if he wants one. He might want a ride somewhere else if you know what I mean.” He winked, enjoying the fact that Dean and Castiel both blushed darkly at that, glancing carefully at each other to gauge the other’s reaction.

“Cool.” Dean’s smile was shy but wide

“You kids have fun.” Gabriel took his exit while he could, going back to the booth to retrieve Sam. Between him and Jo, they got Sam in the passenger seat of Gabriel’s car.

“Take care of him.” Jo said softly after the door shut. “We’re all pretty worried about him, Gabriel. I wasn’t trying to start a fight with you earlier, but he only talks about you when he’s drunk, like really drunk.”

“I’ll take care of him.” Gabriel promised before she could say anything else. He didn’t want to know how low Sam had been. He had been hoping that the space was all that Sam needed. Clearly, it wasn’t.

“Thanks.” She headed back inside while Gabriel got in the driver’s seat and started the car. Sam leaned back, turning to look at him.

“Thanks.” He whispered. “I like you being nice even though I deserve worse.”

“No, you don’t.” Gabriel backed up carefully and got them back on the road. The sooner he got Sam into his bed so he could sleep this off, the better. “You’ve suffered enough, Sam.”

“Did I?”

“You did.”

“How the hell did you come back from this?” That was the clearest statement Sam had said all night and Gabriel had to wonder if that was the crux of it all.

“It took me fifteen fucking years to finally get it right.” He snapped. “But then this hunter showed up at my castle and everything started to change.”

“Me?”

“Yea, you.” Sam had been Gabriel’s turning point, his saving grace. Even if things were never fixed between him, a part of Gabriel would always love Sam. Sam had helped put him back together. And at least for tonight, Gabriel could do the same for him.


	28. Pressed Together

“Can you stay with me?” Sam asked after Gabriel got him upstairs and tucked in. “Not for anything funny. I j-just hate being alone. They left me alone for so long before they-- you know.” He turned away. “He’d come in sometimes and p-play with me.” A fat tear rolled down Sam’s scruffy cheek and on to the pillow. “I hate being alone, feels like I’m waiting for him to come back.”  
  
“Yea, I can stay for now.”  
  
“Like all night?”  
  
“Sure, Sam.” Gabriel figured they’d both just sleep in their jeans and shirts then. Sam let out a shaky sigh before he reached down under the covers before pulling out a pistol and a knife. “Can I hang on to those for you?” Gabriel asked gently, hiding how nervous that made him. Sam was drunk. Sam was hurting. The last thing the hunter needed were weapons that could make leaving easy.  
  
“Not gonna hurt myself.” But Sam handed them over.  
  
“Thanks.”  
  
“The kids I teach know something is wrong with me.” Sam informed Gabriel casually.  
  
“Oh?” Gabriel climbed into the other side of the bed carefully, lying down on top of the comforter.  
  
“You can get in.” Sam rolled his eyes. “I’m fragile but not that fragile.” He laughed at his own joke. He was probably going to pass out soon, but Gabriel would be here in the meantime, watching over him. “But yea, they know. I just thought going back and pretending everything was n-normal would help.”  
  
“And?” Gabriel settled back against the pillow, listening.  
  
“It didn’t. It made it worse. I missed you and yet--” Sam rolled over to face him. “I couldn’t reach out even though I wanted to.” Gabriel understood that, rolling over to face Sam in return. “I’m sorry.” Sam whispered.  
  
“I know.” Gabriel gave him a sad smile.  
  
“Can I fix it?” Sam’s earnestness broke Gabriel’s heart, but he wasn’t ready to put everything back on the line, not yet, not until Sam said all these things sober.  
  
“Let’s talk in the morning, Sam, when we’re both feeling a little better.”  
  
“I feel better around you.” Sam reached out, his fingers brushing against Gabriel’s shoulder. “I really fucked it all up.” He sighed, the scent of alcohol reaching Gabriel’s nostrils. Gabriel reached over to take Sam’s hand, squeezing it carefully.  
  
“I’m here now. We’ll figure it all out in the morning.” Gabriel promised. Sam slowly squeezed his hand back before settling down. It didn’t take him long to be fast asleep, snoring loudly. Gabriel stayed away for some time after that, staring into the darkness. It felt right being back next to Sam, but he found himself holding his breath, waiting for Sam to run away, to push him away yet again.  
  
The next morning, Sam was still there when Gabriel opened his eyes, sleeping peacefully. Gabriel noted the now empty glass of water and snuggled back into the pillows, lulled into a content state having Sam’s warmth so near.  
  
He had missed him so goddamn much. He reached out, touching Sam’s arm gently. Sam didn’t wake up or pull away and so Gabriel kept his hand there. He needed the reminder that Sam was really there. And he drifted back to sleep.  
  
“Gabe.” He wasn’t sure if it was his nickname or the softness of which it was spoken that stirred him from his slumber, but Gabriel opened his eyes to see Sam watching him cautiously. “What happened?”  
  
“You got drunk, kiddo. Asked me to take you home and then couldn’t remember where you lived.”  
  
“Fuck.” Sam rubbed his face. “I asked you to stay with me, didn’t I?”  
  
“You said you hated being alone.” Sam grimaced.  
  
“Yea, I do. I told you why?”  
  
“Yea.” Gabriel replied quietly.  
  
“Shit. I’m all kinds of fucked up, aren’t I?”  
  
“Aren’t we all?” Gabriel answered him lightly. “Remember how I was when you first met me?” There was fondness in Sam’s tired eyes at that memory.  
  
“I do.” Sam glanced at where Gabriel was still holding on to his arm. Gabriel quickly let go and something in Sam’s face fell. “Did I tell you I missed you?” Sam’s voice cracked.  
  
“A few times. You asked if you could fix us.” Gabriel didn’t play around with his former lover. Sam had said some bold things and Gabriel wanted to know how he felt about those things when he wasn’t drunk.  
  
“What did you say?”  
  
“What are you really asking?” Gabriel was not going to dance around the subject.  
  
“Can I… fix us?” Sam asked quietly, cheeks red with shame. “I’m the one who broke us.”  
  
“Sam…” Gabriel frowned. “Don’t put all of that on yourself. You are dealing with something much bigger than us. It affects things.”  
  
“Does it affect how you feel about me?” Sam’s lip quivered.  
  
“No, Sam, you asked me last night if I still l-love you.” Gabriel faltered. “The answer is yes. The answer is always going to be yes.”  
  
“How?!”  
  
“Because I get it! Because I wouldn’t be the person I am today without you.”  
  
“We’re both fucked up?”  
  
“No, Sam, we’re both healing from shit that wasn’t our fault.”  
  
“It’s so fucking hard.” Sam’s mask crumpled into something fragile, tears in his eyes. “It’s so hard, Gabe.”  
  
“I know, baby.” Sam curled into Gabriel’s embrace, crying into his chest. “Let it out. You’ll feel better when you do.”  
  
“I’m so tired of pretending to be strong, like it didn’t destroy me.” Gabriel rubbed his back soothingly. “I’m not the person I was before that.”  
  
“It changes you.”  
  
“I want to be me again.”  
  
“No, i mean, you are still you, it’s just… shit like that changes how you look at things, interact with people. It devastates what trust you might have had in people, even affecting how you are with those you love.” Sam sucked in a sharp breath.  
  
“Yea, exactly that, Gabe. I’ve been trying to find the words for it and Pamela, my therapist, gets it, but a lot of people don’t. They want me to be better already.”  
  
“What about Dean and Bobby?”  
  
“I hate how they look at me.” Sam confessed. “I hate their pity. It reminds me I wasn’t strong enough to save myself.”  
  
“Yes, you were. You survived something absolutely terrible. That’s plenty strong enough, Sam.”  
  
“Stop making me feel better about myself.” Sam grumbled.  
  
“Nah.” Gabriel laughed lightly, squeezing Sam close. “I don’t think I will.” Sam raised his head, their faces dangerously close for how long they had been apart. Sam glanced down at Gabriel’s lips, and Gabriel didn’t look away, giving permission that was silently being asked.  
  
“I don’t deserve you.”  
  
“Love isn’t about what you deserve.”  
  
“How do you always know what to say?”  
  
“I struggle with the same things. I tell Castiel I don’t deserve him all the time.” Sam’s gaze softened. “He disagrees like I’m doing with you. I don’t know it all, see? I’m still learning too.”  
  
“Okay.” Sam would work on all of that later. He moved in carefully, pressing his forehead to Gabriel’s. “God, I missed you.”  
  
“I missed you.” Gabriel’s palm pressed against his cheek and Sam’s eyelashes fluttered closed, his mouth parting in surrender to the touch he had longed for. “I love you.” Gabriel knew if applied right, love could be healing. Sam had been proof of that for him. He moved his head in, pressing a chaste kiss to Sam’s lips, one that was returned softly, tenderly. Sam opened his eyes, wonder clear on his face.  
  
“I love you.” He breathed, resting his head against Gabriel’s again. “I love you so much. I never stopped, I just couldn’t get out of my own way. I tried, Gabe, I did. It's why I came looking for you while you were away.”  
  
“Sam.” Gabriel touched his cheek again, letting him soak up the affection he needed. “I know. It’s okay. You’re back where you belong. We both are.”  
  
“I can’t promise I won’t run again.” Shame was so clear on Sam's face and Gabriel wanted nothing more than to kiss it all away. He didn't. Kisses couldn't take it all away in one, fell stroke. It would take Sam time to shed the shame... if he ever did completely... Days were coming when it wouldn't be so heavy and hard to figure out.  
  
“I can promise I’ll wait for you to come back.” Sam let out a relieved sound and pressed forward, kissing Gabriel again. Gabriel ran his hands through Sam’s thick hair, enjoying being pressed under his hunter’s weight once more. He’d take this morning back together, back where they belonged. “We’ll figure it all out.” He promised once more, Sam’s face in his hands, his thumbs rubbing over Sam’s cheeks.  
  
“Okay.” Sam rested his head back down on Gabriel’s chest, holding him close. This was the best he had felt in weeks and it was with the person he had been avoiding. Maybe that was why he had been avoiding Gabriel. He didn’t think he deserved this anymore. He had felt so filthy after Gordon and the others. Too filthy. Especially for the likes of those that he loved. He didn’t feel like he deserved their love anymore. “I’m sorry, Gabe.”  
  
“I know, baby. I’m sorry too.” Gabriel held him close. “I should have helped more.”  
  
“You did what you knew best. You listened to me.” Sam kissed along the side of Gabriel’s neck before he snuggled back in close. “I don’t want to run from you anymore.”  
  
  


* * *

Meanwhile, in town, Castiel and Dean had been awake for some time.  
  
“Morning, Dean.” Castiel smiled down at his new lover as he rode him.  
  
“Morning, Cas.” Dean smiled back. “I could get used to this.”  
  
“Good.” Castiel braced himself on Dean’s hip, sliding down with ease. After last night, well, he had done this more than a few times now. They had taken turns even. Being with Dean was easy. Everything about him felt right. “Because I don’t plan on disappearing on you anytime soon.”  
  
“I hope you don’t plan on disappearing on me ever.” Dean lunged up for a kiss, kissing Castiel deeply. He was starting to get how Sam felt about Gabriel and Gabriel for him. Castiel felt like home. Castiel felt like the ever elusive ‘one’ that he had never cared about before.  
  
“I’m not.” Castiel grinned, making sure they both arrived to completion.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do y'all think so far?
> 
> two more chapters to go and they're both half-written. I'm hoping to have this story finished by next week, maybe sooner if my schedule allows it. :)


	29. Ghosts and Moving On

Things settled. Life was once again a balancing act, but Gabriel had Sam back in his life, and that made it worth it. Gabriel ended up buying the house. Castiel moved in with him. And as the months ticked through the long, cold winter, so did Sam. Sweet Sam who had such a hard time letting anyone know he was struggling-- who could somehow find it in him to curl up in Gabriel’s arms and cry it out when it was the heaviest. Bobby and Dean visited often, Bobby even going so far as to tell Gabriel the difference he was making in Sam’s life.

“He’s better when you two are together. I daresay, you’re the same way.” He smiled, patting Gabriel on the back.

“Thanks, Bobby.” Gabriel smiled. “He makes life better for me too.”

Gabriel and Castiel’s brothers went back home across the sea. Spring came with an invitation to return home…

“This sounds more like a command than an invitation.” Sam remarked as he read the fine paper.

“That’s my father.” Gabriel sighed, staring down at his arm where the rose used to be. In its place now was a tiger, a homage to what he had given up and what he had learned. Also, this one came from the local tattoo shop, not Kali’s magic.

Sam and Gabriel still prayed to her and often. She had made an appearance after their first night back together… once they were finished and tired, wrapped in each other’s arms. She had warned them of the summons that would come and of what they might find if they went back: the truth.  
  


* * *

_“Lucifer did not come from nothing. Evil twisted him as it almost twisted you.” She cocked her head to the side. “It's the final piece of what you need to face from your past, Gabriel.”_

_“And what of me?” Sam asked._

_“Help him through this.” Kali smiled. “It will bring you peace.” And with that she did her usual disappearing trick._

_“She’s proud of us.” Gabriel said, pressing a kiss to Sam’s sweaty brow._

_“Good.” Sam settled back in his usual spot, resting on Gabriel’s chest, curling the rest of his body close. “How was it?”_

_“Anytime I’m with you is fucking fantastic.” Gabriel smiled._

_“For real, I mean.”_

_“That was for real.”_

_“It wasn’t like how we used to be.”_

_“We’re not those people anymore. We still know how to have great sex though.”_

_“Good.” A kiss to Gabriel’s pale chest before Sam’s cheek was pressed back down, listening to his lover’s heartbeat. “Will you go home if the summons come?”_

_“That place isn’t my home. You are.”_

* * *

And now, months later, the paper was in their hands.

“Are we going?”

“Kali said it’s the final piece.” Gabriel was still staring at the tiger on his arm.

“Are we going?” Sam’s arms were around his shoulders, his head resting on top of Gabriel’s curls.

“Yes.” Gabriel sighed. “I don’t want to, but I need to know. If there was another person involved… if someone hurt Lucifer and caused all this… I want them to see justice. I don’t want them to hurt anyone else.”

“Didn’t you say that you thought there was another with Lucifer sometimes?”

“Yea, that was when he would drug me.” Gabriel didn’t enjoy that memory, but he knew he would have to face it yet again. “I was messed up, Sam. I almost liked it sometimes. It just felt nice to feel like I was doing something right. I was making someone happy for once.”

“Gabe, I’m so sorry. That’s fucking awful.” Sam kissed the crown of his head, small reassurances. “Your father should have been better.”

“As should have yours.”

“But I got lucky, I got Bobby.”

“I got Bobby eventually.” Gabriel looked up and smiled before leaning back into Sam’s embrace. “It’s okay though. I’ve faced my father since then and I can face him again. It’ll be much easier with you by my side.”

“You want me to come?”

“You’re my lover. My boyfriend. My home. My everything.” Gabriel whispered. “I wouldn’t dream of going without you.”

“Then I will go with you.” Sam vowed. “When do we leave? I’ll let the college know that I need to use some vacation days.”

“The coronation is set in for the first week of May.”

“It’s only March now so that is perfect.” A quick kiss before Sam headed out the door, off to shape young minds. Gabriel was so proud of his boyfriend. He made sure Sam was in his car before he headed upstairs. He had been hiding something in his underwear drawer in hopes that Sam wouldn’t find it, but now he needed to pack it for their journey overseas. He opened the drawer and pulled out the small velvet box.

He had never been so sure of anything in his life. Sam was it for him. Sam was who he wanted to spend the rest of his life with.

Sam was lost in thought as he drove to work. He was looking forward to today’s class. It was going to be something special… or at the very least, out of the ordinary for one of his classes. He stopped in the office on his way, putting in his request for his time off.

“Morning, Professor.” The young man dashing into his class just ahead of him hollered over his shoulder. Sam had to smile. At least Adam wasn’t tardy today.

“Good morning, class.” He announced as he opened the door after Adam.

“Good morning.”

“I trust you are all doing well.” He smiled, setting down his briefcase. “We’re going to be doing things differently today.”

“As in-- this isn’t in the syllabus?” A young woman in the front row, Becky, raised her hand. Sam had caught her writing fanfiction more than once in his class… one that he was pretty sure about him. He stopped checking her notes after that.

“That’s right.” He nodded. “We’ve been getting pretty in depth about the supernatural this semester and I want to make it more personal.” He paused for effect. “Why do you all want to study this?”

“It’s fascinating.” Some kid mumbled from the back. Kaia if Sam had to guess. She made good grades in his class, more than most.

“Easy elective.” A kid named Jesse smirked. “It’s not like any of this is real.”

“Actually my dad used to hunt shit like this before he went missing.” Adam spoke up. Sam’s head whipped to the side and he gave him a strange look. “It’s true! He’s hunted half of the creatures we’ve studied. He probably got killed by one.”

“My dad was a hunter.” Sam found his voice after a minute. “Please refrain from telling the dean that we have crossed over from hypothetical to reality, okay?” He rolled up his arm. There were a lot of scars on that arm, but there were old marks from a werewolf. “I hunt too. Who’s your dad, Adam? I probably know him.”

“John Winchester.” The class had never heard Sam swear quite like that before after Adam answered. Today really was out of the ordinary.

“We should talk after class.” Sam said carefully. “I know about your dad.”

“You know what happened to him.” Adam squinted up at him.

“I might.” He shrugged. “No notes today, class. I want to tell you a story.”

“Is it true?” Becky asked.

“Yes.” Sam smiled. “It’s my story actually, with the supernatural. So I was raised by a hunter who is someone who hunts creatures like what we’ve studied.”

“But not all of them are monsters!” Kaia snapped.

“They’re not.” Sam agreed. “But my father was an old-school hunter. He didn’t believe in redemption.” Sam glanced over at Adam who was listening intently. He didn’t want to scare the kid off. If John was Adam’s father, he was Sam and Dean’s half-brother. Shit. He had a half-brother. He could already imagine how Gabriel would react when he found out, shit-eating grin and all. “I want to start with an apology.”

“Why?”

“Because I’ve not been myself lately. I’ve been kind of a hot mess.”

“I told you!” Someone whispered to someone else.

“I’ll warn you now that there are a lot of triggers, and I’ll try to gloss over it as much as I can, but some of these things-- there’s no glossing it over.” He scanned the room, noting that he had most of the student’s rapt attention. Kaia especially was staring him down. “At the end of summer, I was kidnapped, held prisoner for around a month or so, and was tortured and raped repeatedly.” Sam hung his head before he caught himself, forcing himself to look his students head on. “I came back to teaching, absolutely not in the head space to do so, but I needed to focus on the monsters in here,” he tapped on the textbook, “instead of thinking about the real ones out there.” He pointed to the walls. “Humans are capable of terrible things and I didn’t want to think about it anymore, so I came back to work, half the professor I should have been, and I am sorry.”

“Uh… I don’t think you need to apologize.” Jesse squinted at him. “You got fucked over. Kudos for even showing up.” He settled back in his seat, the most respectful he had been the entire time Sam had him as a student. Huh. “What happened next?”

“My partner rescued me, as well as my father and brother.” Sam was still processing the character development in front of him as he answered that.

“Your partner?” Becky leaned forward with a gleam in her eyes. “As in…”

“Becky.” Sam gave her a look.

“Oh, please, it’s not like we didn’t know. You’re too pretty to be… you know.” Kaia snorted.

“And I thought we were above stereotyping in this class.” Sam mock-sighed. “And I don’t have a preference in what gender my partners are. Chew on that while you work on getting your liberal arts degree.” He smiled. “But my current partner is Gabriel.”

“Oh, this is so cute!” Becky squealed, writing something down.

“He’s the only one I want for the rest of my life.” Sam declared. “But that’s something I should tell him and not you.”

“Which one--” Adam started but stopped when Jesse turned to glare at him. “Never mind.”

“Gabe is the reason I am even able to teach. But when we met, he was a case. Your dad actually led us to him, Adam. Sadly, he didn’t leave.” Sam couldn’t leave him hanging there, not with hope shining in his eyes.

“He’s dead.” Adam slumped back, I knew it.”

“To be fair, he crossed several lines. He kidnapped my dad and gave him over to a shifter.” The entire class reacted to that. Shifters might have been a class favorite. “He was a different kind of shifter though-- he was cursed by the goddess Kali to have two forms that both fought for control. One form was that of a human… he was born human, and the other form was that of a tiger.”

Sam went on for the rest of class, weaving the story in and out, highlighting a lot of material they had covered. He was actually pretty proud of himself for getting through the story without having some kind of emotional breakdown. All he felt was love as he looked back on the story he shared with Gabriel.

“Best class ever, Prof. Winchester.” Jesse smiled as he left. The class was empty now except for Adam. Sam walked over to him.

“Can I sit?” He asked.

“Yea.” Adam shifted in his seat as Sam sat next to him. “You know… I didn’t know my dad very well. Mom tried to keep me away from him and hearing your story… I think I know why. He wasn’t a good person, was he?”

“He was my dad too, Adam, and while I lived with him until my brother and I ran away, I can say that while he was a good hunter, he wasn’t a good man or a good father.”

“The last name clued me in that you were related to him somehow.” Adam gave him a sad smile. “Just sucks.”

“He was abusive.” Sam said softly. “Dean and I still have the scars to prove it. Your mother was right to protect you.”

“He hit her once and she said never again.” Adam told him. “But he’s why I took this class. I wanted to know more about hunting, I wanted to know more about him in a way.”

“Well, if you’re interested, you have two older brothers who would love to know you better. And we also know a lot about hunting.” Sam held his hand out. Adam hesitantly shook it. “We’re still family if you want to be.”

“I’d like that.” Adam gave him a shy smile. “Gabriel’s the shifter, isn’t he?”

“Yes.” Sam couldn’t help but smile at his lover’s name.

“The tiger killed my dad, didn’t he?”

“Yes.” Sam’s tone dropped low, warning, but Adam just laughed.

“I’ll make sure to thank him when I meet him then.” He smirked and Sam could see the resemblance now. “Thanks, Prof. I’ll be in touch. I want to talk this all out with my mom first.”

“Sure, go ahead.” Sam stood up. “I have to go anyway.” He glanced at his watch. “I have a boyfriend I want to surprise with dinner tonight.”

“You know, I like his story as sad as it is in parts.” Adam stood up, starting to pack up his stuff. “It gives me hope, you know.”

“I do.” Sam nodded his head, his hair swishing near his collar. “I find hope in his story every day. He’s a big reason why I want to wake up in the morning.”

“I’m sorry all that shit happened to you.” Adam shrugged. “But I think you’re going to be okay. You’ve got people who love you and care about you. Most people wouldn’t notice if I went missing.”

“That’s not true. You’ve got us now.” Sam protested. Adam turned and grinned, his skin lightening up until it thinned out. Sam gasped, taking a step back. “Adam?”

“It was really nice to meet you. I think I can pass on now.” Adam smiled brightly as his skin was glowing and his body was hovering above the ground. Sam knew what he was now. “I finally see the light Kevin used to talk about.”

“Be at peace.” Sam felt like crying, maybe he already was. “I wish I could have met you sooner.”

“You freed me when you broke the curse. You’re not the only one John fucked over. After he killed my mom, I was the first one he brought to the tiger. He called me a fucking loose end.” Adam shrugged. “Clearly I didn’t last long.”

“Did _he_ do it?” Sam’s voice trembled and Adam almost vanished entirely from sight. "Did he kill you?" Sam couldn't ask if Gabriel had fucked Adam like he had fucked Sam that first night. He couldn't handle knowing that. Adam was just a kid. Legal, but still so young.

“Don’t blame him.” Adam’s eyes twinkled. “After my mom died, well, I didn’t care what happened to me anymore. I couldn’t fight John. Gabriel gave me what I wanted. I just wish I got to see Michael again before I died.”

“Adam…”

“Bye, Sam. It truly is nice to know my brothers would have cared.” Adam glanced down at the corporeal things he was leaving behind. “You’re not a bad teacher either. See you on the other side.” Adam winked from sight, leaving a shaken Sam behind.

“Dean.” Sam yanked out his phone, dialing that familiar number. “Dean.” He needed to talk to his brother before he went home. They had a brother and John had fucked that up too. He would have to talk to Gabriel about this too at some point, but Adam was at peace now. Sam didn’t want to fuck up Adam’s peace. If he could let it be, Sam could too. Once he calmed down, then they would talk about it.

Adam didn’t know he had family. And they hadn’t known he was there so they could save him.

“You saved me when you broke the curse.” Adam whispered near his ear, still invisible. “My spirit was free to come find you. Be at peace too, brother.” And then he was gone. Forever.

Sam didn’t know how he knew, but the finality of it all echoed through him. They were all mortal. All they could do was to make the best of what they had, and they had each other. He couldn’t lose Gabriel again and so he wouldn’t. He wouldn’t make a big deal. He’d take him out to dinner like he had planned.

Dean didn’t answer and Sam didn’t bother leaving a voicemail. He didn’t know how to convey everything that had just happened in a few, short sentences. He called Gabriel next.

“Baby.” He could hear the smile in his lover’s voice. “I was just thinking about you.” And that put the image of Gabriel lying in bed, waiting for him, in Sam's mind. He swallowed hard, knowing that was probably the case.

“Get dressed. I’m taking you out for dinner.”

“Let me finish _this_ and then I’ll get right on that, little dove.” Sam rolled his eyes, a smile creeping on his face. It was too late to wish some things were different, especially with how things were right now. He had what was left of his family, added a few new ones, and that was what mattered. The dead moved on and the living were stuck, trying to change something impossible. Adam would be remembered. He would have a place in their lives even as he moved into the afterlife. And Sam would reconcile the fact the tiger had taken his father and his brother-- one a triumph and the other a defeat.

“I’ll be there in twenty.”

“Maybe you can join.”

“Gabriel…”

“Fine. I’ll finish up.” Sam heard the cap of the lube and cursed as his jeans tightened just at the sound. Gabriel laughed, clear and free, and Sam couldn’t be mad anymore.

“I love you.” His ever attuned lover catching the change in tone.

“I love you, sugar.” Gabriel was trying to get him to smile and succeeding. “Come back to me.”

“I’m coming.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm trying to finish this before the new year. :)


	30. ...Happily Ever After.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tw: mentions of past abuse, underage sexual abuse.

Finally, the day had come to head to Gabriel’s homeland. Gabriel was nervous. He didn’t outwardly show it. He wasn’t jiggling his leg during their long flights. He wasn’t clinging to Sam. He wasn’t crying. But Gabriel was quiet the whole trip, even during the quickie Sam initiated in the bathroom. 

Sam knew him, knew that sex helped him when he was feeling out of control, even when he was receiving. Gabriel also knew Sam wasn’t okay with bottoming right now, maybe ever again. 

“It’s going to be okay, Gabe. Sam soothed, rubbing a hand down Gabriel’s flank and then his upper thigh. Gabriel’s legs were locked around Sam’s waist still, bare skin against bare skin. Gabriel was stuck on being still today. Sam knew. He knew Gabe was dealing with a lot, especially with going to the home where the curse had begun. Especially with Kali’s prophecy looming over them.

“When I left after the curse…” Gabriel trailed off. He had left loudly. He had cursed everyone and everything that came across his path as guards forced him on a ship and made sure he stayed there. His servants and brothers had been quiet, staying out of his way and anything he threw at them. Gabriel had raged at the world for the injustice being shown to him until he had enough, locking himself away in his castle in the forest, surrounded by faithful wolves and spectres… until Sam. And when he had left the second time, he had promised himself he would never go back. Here he was, summoned by a father who didn’t love him, but wanted him there to make the family look good as they celebrated Michael becoming king.

At least Michael would be a better king than their absent father.

Now, Gabe was quiet. Part of him still wanted to rage, yet another part wanted to weep. Pam had warned him that going back would unlock all sorts of things inside, more than Gabriel had already dealt with. He scratched the tiger inked on his arm and let Sam pull him closer. They both ignored the sharp rapping on the bathroom door until they both deemed Gabriel ready. 

“Are you okay?” Sam’s lips pressed against his forehead and Gabriel sighed.

“No, Sam.” Gabriel leaned into him. “My father and I did not leave on good terms the last time I left either. He has plans for me.” Gabriel said cryptically. “Plans I want no part of.”

“This time you have me.” Sam soothed, reciprocating when Gabriel stretched up to kiss him. He loved this man. Whether he received peace or not from this journey, he wouldn’t want to be anywhere else. Even after they talked about Adam. Gabriel never slept with the kid-- just put him out of his misery. Something he clearly regretted, even when Sam had first met him. Adam's portrait had been on the wall they passed on the way to Gabriel's room that first night.

Sam cleaned them up quickly but gently, tucking Gabriel back into his clothes, brushing a piece of hair back from Gabriel’s face tenderly. It was pretty apparent what they had been up to when they both exited the bathroom. Gabriel ignored the annoyed stewardess while Sam shrugged, cheeks turning pink. Someone cheered, clapping. Gabriel smiled at that. He slept the rest of the flight, pressed up against Sam, safe.

“We’re here.” Sam roused Gabriel with a soft kiss on his forehead, shaking him carefully. Golden eyes blinked up at Sam, focusing on him. Sam was touched by how the tension that had come so quickly, left as Gabriel looked to him. Sam understood. It was the same for him when he had nightmares and Gabriel was the one to wake him and comfort him. Gabriel’s presence soothed Sam as much as Sam’s presence calmed Gabriel. 

“Welcome!” A peppy youth greeted them in the baggage claim with a sign. Sam wasn’t sure how he felt about being labeled as just the ‘guest’ in the scribbled ‘Prince Gabriel & guest’ sign. “I’m Samandriel! Welcome home, Prince Gabriel!”

“Thanks, Alfie.” Gabriel tensed but allowed the younger man to hug him. Sam crossed his arms, watching carefully. “This is Sam--”

“Your bodyguard?” Alfie cut him off.

“My boyfriend.” Gabriel fixed a glare at him. “Sam, this is my cousin, Alfie. Please forgive his impudence. He apparently was never taught how to greet guests of honor.” He glanced back at his little cousin. “And believe me, Alfie, Sam is the guest of honor in this case. He’s the only reason I’m here.”

“I’m sorry, Gabriel. I didn’t know you were bringing your boyfriend.” Alfie glanced back at Sam. “Hi, Sam. It is really nice to meet you.” Alfie wiped ‘guest’ off the sign and wrote ‘Sam’ in its place before offering his hand to Sam with a friendly smile. “I hope you enjoy visiting with Gabriel. I’ve never been to a coronation before, so I’m pretty excited.”

“Thanks.” Sam shook Alfie’s hand briefly. The kid seemed nice enough; it was just the dismissive way Sam had been greeted that reminded him of how Gabriel had been before the tiger… before the man and the beast had warmed up to him.

“Come on, Sam.” Gabriel’s hand found its way into Sam’s. “I wouldn’t wish my family on anyone, but I’m glad to be facing them with you by my side.” He pressed a kiss to Sam’s knuckles. “Please don’t let them scare you off.” He added wryly.

“Wild tigers couldn’t drag me away.” Sam murmured as they were led to the waiting limo. “Dean and Cas are coming, right?”

“Thankfully.” Gabriel whispered back. “Maybe we’ll get lucky and you won’t have to meet my dad.” Sam smiled.

“Sorry you had to meet mine.”

“At least we have Bobby.”

“Agreed.”

As luck would have it, they were not allowed to avoid Gabriel’s father. He made a point to seek them out after Michael’s coronation. Well, he sought Gabriel out. They had thrown a ball in the country’s honor and Sam and Gabriel were dancing again.

“I forgot how fucking handsome you are in a tux.” Gabriel whispered, giving Sam those eyes that usually only meant one thing.

“Down, boy, we’re at a ball.” Dean and Castiel were there, thankfully, but they only had eyes for each other. They were wrapped up in each other, dancing in a corner of the room. 

“Later?” Gabriel asked, a twinkle in his golden eyes. Sam recalled the last time they were in tuxedos together and smiled.

“Yea, tonight sounds good, Gabriel.” He pressed their foreheads together as they swayed together.

“Gabriel.” They were jerked apart by Gabriel’s father. Sam was struck most by his eyes. They were cold, colder than the winter snow that buried the castle grounds after Gabriel closed it for good. They had a potential buyer but nothing was set yet. 

“Father.” Sam watched as all relaxation left Gabriel’s body, leaving him stiff and apprehensive.

“Have you considered what I said?”

“I think I was clear enough with my answer last time.” Gabriel glanced at Sam. “Hell no.” The former king followed his son’s gaze and sniffed disdainfully as he looked Sam up and down. 

“I could say the same about him.” Sam shuddered. How could he not? The man was looking at him like he was a piece of meat, albeit a piece of rotten meat that he wanted to throw out, but it still brought up the still too fresh memories of Gordon and his friends. “Baldur is respectable.”

“Baldur isn’t Sam.” Gabriel’s voice sounded strained and Sam realized what exactly those plans had been. Gabriel’s father was trying to marry him off, ‘the discount prince,’ after all these years. And Gabriel said no because… because whoever Baldur was, he wasn’t… Sam. It punched Sam in the gut to realize that Gabriel truly loved him-- that he wasn’t just saying it to keep Sam sane when he had his down times.

Sam believed Gabriel when he said he loved him. He did, truly. Just some days it was hard to see what the other man saw in him still after all of what had happened. He tried to remember that Gabriel saw him how he saw Gabriel-- and most of the time that did the trick. He just had bad days from time to time.

“He’s not like us.”

“No, he’s fucking better.” Gabriel’s jaw jutted out. He was angry, so terribly angry and yet somehow still scared that his father might somehow take Sam from him. “He’s better than all of us put together.”

“Will you stop being so damn stubborn for once in your life?” The ball stilled as the sound of the former king backhanding Gabriel echoed across the dance floor. Even Castiel and Dean noticed that-- Dean grabbing Castiel’s arm before he could launch himself across the floor at his father.

“We’re done.” Gabriel turned back to face his father, his hand covering where his father had struck him. “I don’t want to see you ever again.” And with his head held high, he stalked off the dance floor, leaving them all in his wake. 

“Give him a second.” Castiel sighed. He and Dean had joined Sam, making sure Gabriel’s father left him alone. The former king had left as soon as they had gathered around Sam protectively, another sniff of disdain that Sam felt in his very soul. He just wanted to be enough. And he still struggled with feeling like those awful hunters had taken all of that away from him. “They are known for public fights.”

“All these people…” Sam shook his head. “None of them know him. His own father doesn’t know him. He’s so good.” Castiel’s eyes widened when he realized Sam was talking about his brother. Sam loved Gabriel in a way that Castiel found inspiring. Sam’s protectiveness did not go unnoticed by the rest of the guests, something that they liked to see in any of Gabriel’s potential suitors.

Gabriel ran down the hall once he was out of the room, hot tears blurring his vision. He fucking hated it here. He fucking hated being constantly reminded that he would never measure up to his father’s expectations. He slowed down, ducking into the office towards the end of the hall. He didn’t want any of the cameras catching this hot action-- it was bad enough that everyone at the coronation had just seen his father slap him. God, that man was forceful, and Gabriel had more than enough experience with forceful men to not want anymore.

He sank into the wingback chair, looking down at his dress shoes, and then shuddered. Below his feet was a white tiger skin. He glanced at his hands, at the scars from the silver knife that had burned him as he killed his brother, his abuser. The tears started anew and Gabriel hoped Sam might still want to fuck him even if there were tearstains on his tux.

“Prince Gabriel?” Gabriel wiped his face quickly as his father’s advisor approached him. Shit. He must have accidentally ran into Baldur’s office in his attempt to save face and get away.

“Did you follow me here?” He snapped, hating how much he sounded like his old self and yet not knowing how else to make the other man back off. There was no way he was marrying Baldur. Even if Sam wasn’t around, there was just something unsettling about him.

“I just wanted you to know that I have no insulted feelings over your refusal of my proposal.” Gabriel deciphered enough of that diplomatic statement to know Baldur had put the idea in his father’s head. Honestly, Baldur was probably the only one of any of them here that his father paid attention to.

“Why even try?”

“I wanted to see if I had a chance. Marrying into your family since I am no longer needed in the role of advisor would be most beneficial to me. And your father has never known what to do with you. It fit except you’re already in love.” Baldur took a few steps closer. “I would have preferred your brother, but sadly, he’s no longer with us.”

Warning bells sounded in the back of Gabriel’s mind and he quickly got out of the chair and backed away from Baldur.

“It was you!” He jabbed a finger at Baldur, feeling as if he might laugh or cry. He might be in shock as the last few parts clicked in.

“The three of us used to be so close. I was hoping you’d turn out like your brother, but I started on him younger. I didn’t do so well with you, but Lucifer wanted a chance to prove his love for me.” Baldur’s eyes gleamed and Gabriel could suddenly remember, although not clearly, flashes here and there muddled by whatever Lucifer had given him.

“You sick fuck!” Gabriel’s voice cracked and he headed towards the door, knocking into Baldur as he passed.

“I knew you’d remember. I’d reconsider my proposal if I were you unless you want the whole kingdom to know what a slut you were as soon as you lost those bracelets.”

“I didn’t lose them. They were taken.” Gabriel corrected as he hurried from the office. He needed to get back to Sam before he fell into a thousand pieces. He wouldn’t be able to pick himself back up if he fell apart here. “Sam.” He crashed into someone in the hall, sobbing in relief when he realized it was his lover.

“I’m here, Gabe, I’m here. I saw that sketchy guy go after you and I came as fast as I could.” Gabriel was shaking, clinging to Sam’s suit jacket as if it was the only thing keeping him up. Sam was the only thing keeping him up. “Let me get you back to our room.” Sam was in his protective mode and that meant Gabriel was safe. Between Sam and Dean, they were probably carrying a few weapons, even at a royal event. Gabriel couldn’t retreat yet even though he wanted nothing more than to hide away and let Sam keep him safe.

“No.” Gabriel shook his head, leaning against Sam’s chest. Sam was holding him up, holding him together, as he struggled to compose himself. “No, I need to finish this. Bring me to my father.” Sam blanched but obeyed, escorting Gabriel over where his lover told his father everything he now knew. “I know you don’t like me or whatever, but that asshole has been sexually abusing at least two of your sons from their early teen years, maybe earlier.”

“Baldur?” Gabriel’s father looked lost. “Gabriel, you were so belligerent when you lost your bracelets. You should have told me what was going on instead of pretending.”

“How?” Gabriel yelled. “You were never there! You didn’t notice what happened to Lucifer— how would you be able to believe me? Lucifer and Baldur both raped me for months and—“ Gabriel cut himself off. He didn’t owe these people his story. His truth. His fucking trauma. He leaned against Sam, needing to know he was still there. 

“I’m sorry.” His father stammered. “I would have handled things differently if I had known. Baldur suggested sending you both away and I believed him.”

“Well, seeing as how I’m king now.” Michael stepped over from where he was listening. “Baldur will be arrested immediately. They already have him detained in his office and as it turns out, there’s several incriminating pieces of proof he kept as memorabilia.” Michael was disgusted. “I’m sorry, Gabriel. I think Luci tried to tell me a long time ago, in his own way, and I didn’t understand. I wish I had. It would have saved the both of you.”

“He didn’t start out as a monster.” Gabriel said slowly. “But he became one. It doesn’t absolve him of what he did, but now I know what happened that made him turn.”

“You broke the cycle, Gabe.” Sam’s arm was around him, pulling him close, pulling him back to safety. Gabriel let himself be pulled in, hiding his face in Sam’s chest. He felt like weeping, maybe he already was with how his shoulders were shaking. Sam just held him, protecting him. Dean and Gabriel’s brothers shielded them from curious gazes as Sam sneaked them out.

Much later that night, they lay in bed together, watching the fire.

“I need to have sex, Sam.” Gabriel spoke for the first time in hours. “I need to be in control of something.”

“Okay.” Sam rolled over, pulling off his sweatshirt, exposing his back and chest. “Whatever you need.” He kissed Gabriel carefully, but Gabriel didn’t want soft— he couldn’t handle gentle right now. He was raw and gaping, all his wounds laid bare. They were scarring, healing, but right now, he needed distracting from how they ached and bled. He just wanted it all to be different. He wanted the abuse to have never happened at all.

Sam deepened the kiss, pushing back against Gabriel’s franticness. It gave them a few more minutes to strip before Gabriel felt panicked again. Sam gave himself over, knowing what Gabriel needed and trusting Gabriel to take care of him. They were straddling a dangerous line, but they were doing it together. They’d make it through.

Sam was on top of Gabriel, rocking against him when Gabriel stopped him. 

“I can’t—“ and Sam understood. 

“Do you trust me?” He understood why Gabriel wasn’t in the right headspace to bottom tonight but weirdly enough he was. Maybe it was the tuxes or the burning fire, but mostly it was the desperate way Gabriel looked up at him. He’d do anything for Gabriel. 

Gabriel slowly nodded, still tense as Sam lubed up his fingers. Tension bled out of him as he watched Sam open himself up, something that was all kinds of hot as Sam gasped, impaling himself on his own fingers.

“You don’t have to do this.” Their eyes locked, a burning intensity between them. This sex wasn’t about getting off, it was about comforting each other. It was about their connection and how much they both needed each other. That would never change.

“I want to.” Sam grasped Gabriel’s cock, slicking it up before easing down on it, taking his lover for the first time in months. Gabriel moaned as he was invited inside of Sam’s tight heat. He had missed it. And he knew how much of an offering this was. Gods and goddesses, Sam was so gorgeous, body dark with the glow of the firelight behind and all around him. His golden piercings which had been replaced recently glinted in the light and dammit, Gabriel wanted him so badly.

“Sam?” Gabriel reached over for his dresser drawer. This wasn’t what he had planned but the moment was right, the decision was right. Sam was the one for him.

“Yea, babe?” Sam’s voice was husky and Gabriel couldn’t help but rock his hips forward in response. “Gah.” Sam smiled. “I forgot how good you feel inside me.” Well, fuck. Gabriel repeated the motion, watching as Sam braced himself on his hips.

“Sam.” Sam’s full attention was back on him, making sure he was okay. Gabriel pulled out the velvet box and opened it, revealing the ring inside. Sam gasped, eyes tearing up and Gabriel knew he had to speak before they both started crying. “Will you marry me?” He whispered, emotion choking him.

“Yes.” Sam breathed. “Gods, yes, Gabriel.” Gabriel was smiling through his tears and so was Sam as Gabriel slid the ring on Sam’s finger. They kissed deeply for a few moments before Sam pushed him down with a smirk. “Gonna ride you until you forget your name.” He promised, rolling his hips. Gabriel gripped at the blankets, grinning up at his fiancé. 

“And I’m going to make sure you never forget how good I can make you feel ever again.”

They had never been ones for doing things traditionally, and so this proposal fit the rest of their story together. They got married wearing matching white tuxedos and surrounded by red roses and their true family in a Hindu temple by a priest who particularly preferred Kali. Bobby cried but denied it afterwards. Dean teared up, but held Castiel's hand throughout the ceremony, ridiculously proud of the fact that they would be the next couple getting married. He had proposed to Cas a few weeks before the wedding. Kali who watched with a knowing smile from the corner as the guests clapped as the grooms kissed. She was proud of them-- they had found their peace and each other, and would continue to heal and grow with each passing day. 

“I hate to say it,” she murmured to no one in particular, “but I told you so.” She smirked. “I am good at what I do.” And then she left, making sure their remaining years despite the fact they were human and that the human life is full of the ups and downs, stayed full of wedded bliss. 

They deserved it.

And so they all lived and loved happily after.

(Except for Baldur, he met a bloody end at the hands of his fellow prisoners).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What a way to start the new year, ending this baby. Thank you all for coming on this journey w me. I hope you loved it as much as I did! Happy new year! 
> 
> -fluffy


End file.
